Steady is seriously ill


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27/10/2009 at 12:33

Hey, Jim, good to see you! We were getting a bit worried. And that flu sounds VERY nasty---hope a nice time away and some good fresh air will see you right. Oh, and a big HBD to your lad! Isn't it astonishing to think he's 19 already??

I hope Linda is finding life stabilising for her too. I think during the first year the grief keeps jumping out at you from every corner, as time after time you encounter absence where there should be presence; but over time the sense of presence will return (at least it always has for me) and up til then it's a matter of keeping traction on life, so something like a nice family outing will be lovely for her too.

Sluggie, that sounds like a wonderful Evensong! You will enjoy it hugely, wait and see. And you'll enjoy the NEXT one even more, cos you'll have had a bit more rehearsal time. I think you've only been with this choir for about 3 weeks, haven't you? That's not very long to learn up an Evensong from scratch if you don't read music, so you're doing brilliantly already!

June, I do hope that you managed to find someone to help you get at some of the things that have been weighing you down. And I hope the new job is still workng well. And I hope you're enjoying the autumn in the garden.


Yes, we had a lovely weekend with C1. Not entirely girlie, as we had Mr C and C3, but a lovely family time even though C2 couldn't come (he'll be here next weekend). She's starting her permanent job tomorrow, and has gone all domestic, which is rather fun. We've been talking about recipes, and soup-making, and how to use a freezer and all that sort of thing that she would have scorned a year ago But she looks great, and it's SO nice to know that she'll be around for a while and popping home for weekends now and then!

I'm looking in at lunchtime to try to catch up with RW, cos if I leave it til the evening I wind up not getting to bed til after midnight and then I don't have the energy to get up and chug in the morning.... Well, I have only another 5 weeks, and after that I can make a fresh start, right?

I think 40 Minutes only has about 2 more weeks, doesn't he? The process of leaving isn't fun, but the trick is to look at what you're going toward, and all the delicious new things you'll be able to do..... I hope he's got some really lovely plans in store! xxx 

30/10/2009 at 08:08
Bit quiet in here, isn't it? I suppose Jim and Linda are off on half term and Sluggie is hard at work. Diana being the doting gran? But does anyone have any contact with June? Haven't heard much from her for a while, so I hope life is getting a bit brighter for her now. xxx
30/10/2009 at 08:39

No, I'm lazing around doing nothing, Chuggy, hence no early posting.

I do hope that June is getting on OK.

31/10/2009 at 16:35

June has posted on Facebook, and seems to be shopping and singing, so that sounds good!

Quite busy with work and family, so haven't been online much. I start jury duty on Monday, which will be new territory for me.

31/10/2009 at 19:50

Hi Chugger
Yes, last day is a week on Tuesday.
Plan was to do a bit of part time work or consulting, most likely opportunity seems to be working full time, but that wasn't really the intention...

01/11/2009 at 11:40

"Good morning" from a very wild n wet north Derbyshire . No footie for the boys today due to waterlogged pitches.

Chugger - I don't see many posts from June for some time now. At least Diana is able to post a hopefull message for us. I've never been on jury duty & wonder if it's at all exciting or praps down right boring, I hope not.

40 minutes - now we're in November you really are counting down .

Linda seems to be worse with coughing & creating mucus . I wasn't so great while we were away but at least we had a change of surroundings. I was struck by having but an inkling of the size of Morecambe Bay. I would not want to be out there when the tide comes in! The thought is really too scary.

02/11/2009 at 12:10

Diana, thanks for the update on June. I do hope things are easing up for her. And do let us know what jury duty is like! I've never done it, but being a lawyer, I'm very curious to know how you find it! Friends who have done it have said they thought the jury generally reached the right conclusions even though by a very peculiar reasoning process at times!

40 minutes, not long now! And indeed, retiring and going straight back to full time work doesn't sound quite right, though it depends on how much you would like the work..... Do keep us posted. Hope your last few days will be happy ones, thinking of all you can do in the future, rather than sad ones at leaving.

Jim, and wild' at Morecambe Bay must be really dramatic! NOT ideal weather for someone to be sick in, though, so do keep an eye on Linda. Really hope that today she's feeling better and the cough is abating: coughing is very tiring, quite aside from anything else. I imagine you'll be home and warm and dry again soon?

Had all 3 Chuglets home for the weekend, + C1's bf, and we had a great time. We have an awful lot of fun together, and as a parent it's especially nice to see how much the kids enjoy each other's company. They'll always have staunch supporters to be there for them even after Mr C and I are sitting on our pink clouds (as the Dutch saying goes!). Must dash home to take C2 back to the airport, he has to go back to Chester to read during 'reading week'!!!

07/11/2009 at 17:33

Jury duty was frustrating - managed to get into court for about an hour between legal arguments, before the case was finally dropped on Friday! It appeared that requested statements in support of the defence had not been supplied despite multiple requests, and the 'victim's' statement differed from what he said at first in hopsital. He was a parmoid schizophrenic with a history of violence himself. I've been redeployed to Winchester Crown court from Monday as they are apparently desparate for jurors, so just hope I get to hear a whole case, and help reach a verdict!

June still seem sok, and posting on Facebook - not enjoying loud fireworks though!

08/11/2009 at 14:39

Oh dear, what a damp squib that jury service was, Diana. I hope it will at least be more interesting in Winchester! I think most people are willing to do this, but if after making all the arrangements etc it comes to nothing, they do feel bit cheesed off!

I'm wondering whether to drop June a line. I don't want to intrude on her, but I am thinking of her. I wonder too if this thread, with its title and associations, might now not be so good for her? It make her feel tied to the past?  She will never forget, but she rightly wants to move ahead and maybe we should move this discussion to a new thread with an opener, more optimistic title. Any thoughts?

40 minutes, I do believe the rest of your life starts after this Tuesday, doesn't it? I hope you will step over the threshold of that new life with no pang, and will find it the best part yet!!

I have 3 weeks left at work, and frankly can't wait to get out. But there is SOOO much planning involved in all the associated changes that sometimes it's hard to keep track of where I am. All good, though! And C1 has started her job in London, so she's home much more often, which is REALLY nice!

23/11/2009 at 20:56

Just looking in to see if anyone else is still around.

Jim, hope you and Linda have both shed the lurgy by now and are feeling in the pink!

40 minutes, by this time your job change is an established fact and you are well launched on your new life. I hope it's turning out to be fun! I have one more week, and to be frank, I'm really looking forward to having this over with. I'm waking up in the middle of the night thinking 'I mustn't forget to tell X that.....' Silly, really, they'll all do fine whether I remember to tell them or not!!

Diana, how is your newest family member? Still thriving, I trust.

June, if you ever look in here, be sure that we are thinking of you very much and hoping the autumn is going well for you.

Sluggie, hope the back is better today!

<waits hopefully to see if anyone comes along>

01/02/2010 at 20:30

I think that in the inimitable words of Pete and Dud, (RIP both)............

Now is the time to say goodbye. I haven't visited this thread for a long time as I didn't feel I could anymore.And I was waiting for it to become moribund, as it now has.

 I have learned ...

...that grief doesn't fade, it just becomes more manageable with time, and you learn to ride it

... that there are so many good people out there who want to help

...but that in the end the only person you can rely on is yourself

I would like to thank every single one of you that has supported me through the last two years. Your goodwill, good wishes and shared experiences kept me going through the very dark days.


01/02/2010 at 20:59
June, it's lovely to hear from you. I hope that you are learning to manage your grief and that life is less dark for you. Take care. xxx

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