Guy in a bar notices a pirate standing next to him, complete with wooden leg, hook hand and eye patch.
'Hope you don't mind me asking, but how did you get the wooden leg?' says the guy.
'Aaarrr, I had to walk the plank an' when I fell into the sea, me leg was bitten off by a shark'
'Nasty. What about the hook?'
'Aaarrr, i got inta a fight wi' Long John Silver an' he cut off me hand wi' his cutlass'
'Ouch! How did you lose your eye then?'
'Aaarrr, I was scannin' the horizon fer enemy ships an' a seagull shat in me eye.'
'But surely you wouldn't lose your eye just because of that?'
'Aaarrr, I'd forgotten about the hook...'
