The best age to have kids?

41 to 47 of 47 messages
19/03/2013 at 12:20

i agree. I compromise. If I didn't have kids i'll be doing all sorts. But instead I have culled many things down to a manageable level where everybody is happy. That's the thing with kids you don't need to stop everything but you need to sort out what is important to you

19/03/2013 at 12:27

it won't stop me hiking alpine glaciers.

19/03/2013 at 12:48

Vicar, Sounds harsh but even when I was six I spent time with kids who were only in second place to their parents activities of choice. It was like they'd been deserted.

Of course you want to spend time with your kids, its just that some of the time you want to be elsewhere even more. You have the choice, they don't.

You might believe having kids shouldn't stop you doing what you enjoy but to what extent? Once they are old enough they may have a different opinion.

You may be a borderline example but I've seen enough guys reap the rewards of booking themselves a two week holiday with their mates leaving their wives and kids at home.

Or disapearing off every Friday evening and not returning until Sunday night.

They took the same stance every time. I make the money, there it is, what more do you want?

Kids aren't interested in your logical trades. Of treats, activities and toys and other pay offs.

They want you to give them the option of yourself and your time.

Simple.

 

19/03/2013 at 13:03

I agree in some respects. However I don't think it matters too much how much time you spend with your kids to a degree as long as the time is quality. As I said I know enough people who sit on their ass all weekend with their kids watching TV. Again this weekend I will be away from them both mornings but in the afternoons we will go out and doo something with them. At night I read them a book and bath both of them nothing gets in the way of that. However I am my own person and I have an outlet.

I'm not having a dig but you are on a running forum, how much time do you give up for running? Do you enter any events etc? I do. I again changed the way I train to encorporate my kids. Instead of running in the mornings I run too and from work instead taking up less time. I don't believe in quantity I think it's definitely quality

19/03/2013 at 13:30

Vicar, 

As I said, "you may be a borderline example", the reality sounds as if you are in fact making a not unreasonable compromise.

I used to do a lot of things but to such an extent I just burnt out the enthusiasm for them. I'm just glad I did all the ambitious stuff before the lad arrived. By the time he did I was just ticking along.

Running is easy for time since it hardly registers. An hour here and there is hardly risking neglect. My other activities used to take days at a time.

Those activities are on hold (permanently I suspect). 

 

19/03/2013 at 15:34

No grumbles

I can understand where you are coming from because some people do give every hour they have to their children because thats the way they are. No problem there. Others still enjoy spending time with their kids and need an outlet. I am one of them because no matter how much I love my kids if I didnt have any time to myself I'd probably end up going mad!

19/03/2013 at 15:58

The assumption that kids want to spend every waking moment with a parent is not necessarily true.

I was always happy to spend time on my own, or with my friends.  I had more fun doing that than doing boring stuff with my parents.

I didn't much look forward to going on holiday - it just meant not seeing my friends and being stuck with my sister for two weeks, usually somewhere where it was raining!

Kids are individuals too.  

literatin wrote (see)

My whole retirement plan is based on not having kids ever.

 

Same for me 


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