The best age to have kids?

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17/03/2013 at 17:50

around 30 is a nice compromise

Pudge    pirate
17/03/2013 at 18:27
I had mine at 25 and 27. For me, that was a good age as I'd done most things that I wouldn't have been able to with young children, but I'll still be reasonably sprightly throughout their childhood and teenage years, so that I have the energy to do sports with them, be a "cool dad" (in my eyes at least) and hopefully enjoy the same things that they do when they become young adults.

Different folks, differents strokes though.
17/03/2013 at 18:28

we are about to have our first at 32. not ideal I suppose but still time to have more.

17/03/2013 at 19:57

My whole retirement plan is based on not having kids ever.

17/03/2013 at 20:06

i'm so happy

17/03/2013 at 20:52

When we had ours I think I was 30, 33 and 33.   I sometimes think it would be nice to have spread them out a bit - partly because every stage of their lives - baby, toddler (you get the idea here) is over in a few years and it'd be nice to go back and revisit it with another kid.    I was younger than my dad though - think he must have been 36 or 37 for the first and ended up with 5.   

17/03/2013 at 21:07

as a registered nurse and student midwife , i see all ages of mothers , and can say i don't have any real opinion on what is better/ideal 

society judges the women whom wait until their mid 40s as much as the teen mothers , i suppose society likes norms and tradition

by medical standards and reducing risks, older mothers are those whom are 35 and over 

i'm 32, my daughters are 16 and 11  - i was very young , it suited my life just fine , we have a very stable  loving family and i can financially provide for them , whats more to need 

 

17/03/2013 at 21:11
XcurlytwigX wrote (see)

, it suited my life just fine , we have a very stable  loving family and i can financially provide for them , whats more to need 

 

That't the real issue, I think. The ideal age is the age when you can afford to do it and fit it into the rest of your life. My friends (not me, because of aforementioned retirement plan) are all having kids around now, early to mid 30s, because we work in a field where you typically don't qualify and get a permanent job until late 20s/early 30s, and don't necessarily want to start a family when you don't know where you might be living or whether you'll have an income. So it's only ideal because it's practical.

17/03/2013 at 21:40

16, becasuse by the time you're 40, you might just have your life back!

Our first was when I was 32 though and it was nice to be financially secure first.

 

And when I say first, I also mean "only", for now at least!

Edited: 17/03/2013 at 21:43
17/03/2013 at 21:54

16, becasuse by the time you're 40, you might just have your life back!

i was 16, my daughter is 16 now, i would have a mental breakdown if she made me a nanna at 32 , she has benefited from a happier more stable childhood than i had , i trust her 

i do love that now mine are older i can do more , that goes for all mothers though ,

i have lived through some seriously poor times , i chose to goto uni and struggled on my husbands wages and my NHS busary for 3 years , harsh , but worth it 

i always put in crazy over time to make sure they never went without , 

i wonder if i had had mre money when they were really young if i would have worked part time or not at all and stayed home 

prob not, i like working and being busy lol 

17/03/2013 at 22:13

XcurlytwigX, maximum respect for managing it so young, and by the sounds of it doing a great job too. I doubt I was anywhere near mature enough to have done it at 16 and thankfully we'll never know!

I am really enjoying being a daddy especially when he really wants me to be with him, I'm flavour of the month right now and I've never been so popular with anyone!

LIVERBIRD    pirate
18/03/2013 at 06:47
I honestly don't think there is a right age although there is undoubtedly a wrong time.
18/03/2013 at 08:23

i was 21, at the time i thought i was too young but after my son was born i was quite happy to be a father, and in fact i have pretty much bought him up alone, (his mum is a career obsessed woman) now i'm 34 and he'll be leaving school before i'm 40, i'm really glad i had him at that age, ive been able to enjoy the days out more i think, i never had any money anyway at 21 but now, when he's leaving for uni or work or whatever, i'll be in a better position to do the things i enjoy doing and have the money to do so. 

I guess its different for everyone though, i know older parents who live a great and active life with their kids and do everything with them, i also know younger parents who you'd think were 60, shove the kids upstairs with an xbox and smoke themselves to death. 

18/03/2013 at 08:33

i was almost 40 and in some way you kind of envy friends who now have grown up children and seem to have a life of their own again.

but i feel sorry for the ones who have one or two children in their early 20s then have another one (or two) just before they are 40. 

in my opinion around 30 would perhaps be ideal.

 

 

 

18/03/2013 at 10:22

Just had my second 6 weeks ago and if you want to be able to add around 20 minutes to your HM PB then happy days, I got the Yeovil HM next week- before having the 2nd I'd crack it no worries but trying to run on 2 hours sleep is like headbutting a wall.

I'm 28 and I had my first at 26. Never a good age to be completely tired ratty and to find everything a chore Funny thing is I didnt do much with my life before kids after I have had them I have gone a bit mad and now trying all sorts. I think I was meant to grow up but its had the opposite effect  

gingerfurball    pirate
18/03/2013 at 10:38
I was 22, 27 and 29 when I had ours. MrGFB is 7 years older than me so we didn't want to be much older because of the age gap. Ours are grown up (youngest is 19) and I am a granny!! I was made a granny when I was 44. The grandbabies tire me out now!!
18/03/2013 at 11:06

I never wanted kids and when I was younger, in my 20's,my bf's didn't want any either so all was good. I'm going to be 35 this year and now I'm unsure. All I know is I need to make my decision in the next two years. By now bf is 7 years younger so he's not in a hurry yet but we've talked about it. I wish I knew what I wanted.

18/03/2013 at 11:31
mikasa wrote (see)

I wish I knew what I wanted.

 

Story of my life, and most other people's I expect!

I often think a bad decision is often better than no decision at all. If I didn't tell myself that I'd never get anything done.

18/03/2013 at 13:05

Why sorry Skotty - if they enjoy being parents then having one or two young and one or two older is ideal.   

 

18/03/2013 at 17:44

Interesting comment there Vicar.

I've done the total opposite.

There wasn't a single thing left that I wanted to do that I hadn't done. Every obsessional, selfish, potentially risky activity already covered.

Kids aren't interested in your career, your sports, the activities that make you buzz or all the people you choose to meet.

Its simple with them. If you have the choice to be elsewhere and you take it, its because you don't want to be with them. 

 

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