The object to your left


1 to 20 of 65 messages
gingerfurball    pirate
30/09/2010 at 10:24

gingerfurball    pirate
30/09/2010 at 10:26
It's my phone/fax - I wonder how much damage I could dowith that?
30/09/2010 at 10:31

Oh dear!  Beyond the extreme left of the computer screen the next solid object is a wall.  A good temporary defence maybe but harldy a weapon.  If the finger was pointing 30 degrees downwards, that would be the phone.  Presumably all lines of communication would be down by the time the shit really hit the fan, so no use for that and not really heavy enough to clobber a zombie effectively. 

That basically leaves the option of rotating the laptop 20 degrees so that the finger's pointing to my rucksack, which contains my  running gear.  I guess I could strangle the zombies to death with my chest strap, or just put my trainers on and run. 

So yeah, I'll go with running shoes.

30/09/2010 at 10:34
a frigging plant leaf?? what bleeding use is that going to be against the dark forces....

"come at me with a banana"
30/09/2010 at 10:48

A book about the history of finance. Maybe I could bore them to death?
Next to that is a Warhammer rule book (NOT mine!)
That'll definitely bore them to death!

Crash Hamster    pirate
30/09/2010 at 10:56

A can of flyspray.

Not even the good stuff (now banned) that used to drop the blighters instantaneously, but the new 'mildly irritate them til they die of old age' rubbish that you get nowadays...

30/09/2010 at 11:07

I like this thread

To my immediate left is... a banana. Actually, two bananas. Marvellous

30/09/2010 at 11:08
The arm of the sofa and a physio band, so I could tie them down and run away
Tommygun2    pirate
30/09/2010 at 11:15

A desk tidy with assorted pens and pencils, couple of rubber bands and some paper clips.

hmmmm I guess I could fire pencils at them

30/09/2010 at 11:15
An apple and a pile of asbestos reports?
Crash Hamster    pirate
30/09/2010 at 11:18
You could lure them into an unsafe building with teh apple, then wait for them to die of asbestosis?
30/09/2010 at 11:24
A Paperchase pen pot decorated with various cutesie li'l figures, filled with ...[counts]...14 variously coloured, metallic and glittery gel pens.

I guess I could bore them to death with my explanation of why I prefer to fill my notebooks with rainbow thoughts, and sign my name in pretty colours rather than in grown up blue or black.

Failing that, I could draw them a picture of their multicoloured demise...

(tis this one, if you're interested...)
Edited: 30/09/2010 at 11:26
Farnie    pirate
30/09/2010 at 11:27

Remote control

I will zap 'em with the red blinky light.....

30/09/2010 at 11:33
A paper tray. I can bore them to re-death...
30/09/2010 at 11:36

I've formulated a plan for my bananas:

1. Freeze the bananas and use them as missiles, aiming for the head.

2. Peel bananas and leave said peel for the zombies to slip on, thus giving me time to run away.

3. Use bananas to lure a troupe of monkeys, who I can train to protect me.

30/09/2010 at 11:41

Seems most of us have similar things to the left.

I have a phone, 2 rolls of packing tape, a tiny stapler, a desk tidy with assorted coloured pens and pencils; pair of scissors; ruler; and a torch. There is also a pair of speakers.

So, I'll play loud music at them, whilst they're slightly confused by that I shall blind them with the torch then set about tying them up with the packing tape and for good measure, staple their feet to the floor and slap them with the ruler.

Then I will run away screaming....

30/09/2010 at 11:43

Can I use a bit of artistic licence please?  The paper shredder is to my right but it's definitely got the best gore-factor as a weapon. 

This has got all the makings of a sequel to Shaun of the Dead, but set in a stationery suppliers office and co-written Simon Pegg, Ricky Jervais and Steve Merchant.  Can I be Gareth?

30/09/2010 at 11:43
I'm screwed. It's either a Skype headset, an empty Evian bottle, or an empty Coke can.
gingerfurball    pirate
30/09/2010 at 11:48
I wonder if we could pool resources?
30/09/2010 at 11:49
If I could choose the right instead of the left, then I have a stack of empty DVDs. I could use those like Odd Job and throw them, thereby chopping off the heads and arms of the marauding non-deads.
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