The Question!

21 to 36 of 36 messages
10/07/2012 at 16:01

I think it's a nice idea, not for me or most people but each to their own. Best of luck to you both !!!

10/07/2012 at 16:10

I think it's a great idea - I would have been delighted.  

 

Personally I would go for at the finish when you are both there - but make sure you let her beat you  

 

10/07/2012 at 16:11

Why do you want to make it a public event?  Surely a marriage proposal is something special between two people?

I saw a guy propose to his girlfriend in Berlin.  We were on our way to a bar and I spotted him out of the corner of my eye.  I watched them from about 30ft away.  Fortunately, she said yes, though he wasn't aware that anyone was watching.

This amuses me, and it's the sort of thing that everyone watching a public proposal is hoping for: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nnyKkA05nYw

10/07/2012 at 16:32
GymAddict wrote (see)

I think it's a great idea - I would have been delighted.  

 

Personally I would go for at the finish when you are both there - but make sure you let her beat you  

 

woah woah woah! Let's not get crazy! 

Intermanaut wrote (see)

Why do you want to make it a public event?  Surely a marriage proposal is something special between two people?

I saw a guy propose to his girlfriend in Berlin.  We were on our way to a bar and I spotted him out of the corner of my eye.  I watched them from about 30ft away.  Fortunately, she said yes, though he wasn't aware that anyone was watching.

This amuses me, and it's the sort of thing that everyone watching a public proposal is hoping for: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nnyKkA05nYw

I'm not making it a public event purely because it's there. By the time of the event we will be finishing something that we both started working towards together.

It is special and it still is between us two; regardless of who is watching. 

10/07/2012 at 16:48

If you're determined to do it at the race, I would avoid telling the rest of her family in advance. 

Let her have the pleasure of doing that afterwards.  They won't be able to resist telling other people, so she'll end up being the last to know.

(And asking her father? Really, no.)

10/07/2012 at 17:45

KK, WIlkie - you guys must have a different kind of father to me.  My husband asked my dad - not if he could 'have' me  because we had already decided to get married, but he met with him alone to tell him face to face (we lived in another country) that he had asked me to marry him and I had said yes.  I advised my sisters boyfriend to do the same. They would have started married life off with my dad holding a grudge otherwise. I can't bear to think how upset my dad would have been had DH not spoken to him.

 

Not because there is a need for a yes or no  - but some folks expect to be asked or told in private out of courtesy.  Everyone involved knows it's a formality but some fathers or mothers would be mightily p*ssed off not to be included. 

Edited: 10/07/2012 at 17:47
10/07/2012 at 17:51
My sprogs future husband didn't ask me but they phoned 5 minutes after he proposed to make sure I was ok.

Of course I was. She's his problem now ! Teehee
10/07/2012 at 22:03
Wilkie wrote (see)

If you're determined to do it at the race, I would avoid telling the rest of her family in advance. 

Let her have the pleasure of doing that afterwards.  They won't be able to resist telling other people, so she'll end up being the last to know.

(And asking her father? Really, no.)

H didn't ask my dad before we got engaged, & his nose was put right out of joint over it. When they were next together things were a bit tense until they had a man to man chat & blamed me for being difficult. 

Nope, I don't get it either. 

Trouble is, I'm not entirely convinced he'd have given permission. If you are unsure of the answer, don't ask the question. Always better to seek forgiveness than be denied permission... 

11/07/2012 at 12:12

 

GymAddict wrote (see)

KK, WIlkie - you guys must have a different kind of father to me... 

Not because there is a need for a yes or no  - but some folks expect to be asked or told in private out of courtesy.  Everyone involved knows it's a formality but some fathers or mothers would be mightily p*ssed off not to be included. 

I do find that strange - you say you lived in another country, is your father not British?  If so, maybe it's a cultural thing?

If my dad was not happy about not being asked, he hid it completely (twice).   I don't think it even occurred to my fiances that they should ask/tell my father first - and the first of these was a very long time ago - nearly thirty years ago.


 

JvR
11/07/2012 at 12:33

Asking permission has never been a problem both times I've been engaged as it was spur of the moment.
Letting my parents meet my fiances before getting engaged might have been wise though

11/07/2012 at 13:34

Sansom - I think it sounds like a good idea. It's the kind of proposal I'd like (and only you can judge whether your girlfriend would like it). I hoped my boyfriend might propose when we were on top of Kilimanjaro - he didn't, but he did ask me while we were balanced on a rock bridge 500m up in Wadi Rum! It was spectacular.

Re: the ring - some women might like the option of choosing the ring and to save on the anxiety of picking the right ring yourself and carrying it around a marathon - why not buy a cheap lookalike engagement ring (from Accessorize say) so you have something to propose with and then you can choose the real one together.

K80
11/07/2012 at 14:40
Wilkie wrote (see)

(And asking her father? Really, no.)

My first husband didn't ask my father's permission.

I asked my Dad to give me away though - and he said no!

11/07/2012 at 15:09
We usually have champagne available at mile 17 so you could get her to join the support groups there, we'll be on the fizz anyway and could open a fresh bottle when you arrive.
11/07/2012 at 16:01

LOL I was living in England, my dad was in Scotland.  But it still may well be a cultural thing. It was 20 years ago.

oii
11/07/2012 at 18:13

i am in the BIG FAT NO crew.

terrible idea. i ran london this year and by the "big day" i was wrecked and tired and totally overexcited, couldnt wait to get to the start line. got my head down and did my thing for the run. then forgot my name after the finish line and just wanted chips, a hot bath and my bed. i certainly didnt want a marriage proposol. i wouldve totally not appreciated what was being asked of me!!! i was lucky i had three supporters after the race to get me back to my hotel.

why dont you book a sexy spa hotel for the next weekend and propose in private, with champagne, in your hotel room. or something.

12/07/2012 at 23:50

Sansom, ignore the doubters and go for it.


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