The Question!

xine267 wrote (see)

I think it's a nice idea!

Is she running with you or will she be supporting you from the crowd? If she's running with you, then at the finish line; if you do it at the start you will just spend the whole race wanting to celebrate.

Didn't a couple actually get married during the London marathon last year?

Sorry didn't put that in, yep she will be running it also - we are running it together, not as an A or B race so it's more the experience. 

Wilkie wrote (see)

Sansom wrote (see)

Thanks for the pessimism guys!  We have been together 6 years and have just bought our first house together and i'm 99.9% sure she would say yes. 

Would she enjoy the public proposal?  Would she like loads of other people knowing you were going to ask her to marry you BEFORE you did it?

I'd definitely recommend a romantic (whatever romantic means to her, that is), quiet, proposal personally.  That way she gets to tell LOADS of people about it

I honestly think that public or quiet wouldn't make a difference to her. It's more the fact that I'm asking her to marry me. Thanks for your views though!  

I think it's a nice idea, not for me or most people but each to their own. Best of luck to you both !!!

I think it's a great idea - I would have been delighted.  

Personally I would go for at the finish when you are both there - but make sure you let her beat you  

Why do you want to make it a public event?  Surely a marriage proposal is something special between two people?

I saw a guy propose to his girlfriend in Berlin.  We were on our way to a bar and I spotted him out of the corner of my eye.  I watched them from about 30ft away.  Fortunately, she said yes, though he wasn't aware that anyone was watching.

This amuses me, and it's the sort of thing that everyone watching a public proposal is hoping for: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nnyKkA05nYw

GymAddict wrote (see)

I think it's a great idea - I would have been delighted.  

 

Personally I would go for at the finish when you are both there - but make sure you let her beat you  

 

woah woah woah! Let's not get crazy! 

Intermanaut wrote (see)

Why do you want to make it a public event?  Surely a marriage proposal is something special between two people?

I saw a guy propose to his girlfriend in Berlin.  We were on our way to a bar and I spotted him out of the corner of my eye.  I watched them from about 30ft away.  Fortunately, she said yes, though he wasn't aware that anyone was watching.

This amuses me, and it's the sort of thing that everyone watching a public proposal is hoping for: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nnyKkA05nYw

I'm not making it a public event purely because it's there. By the time of the event we will be finishing something that we both started working towards together.

It is special and it still is between us two; regardless of who is watching. 

I'm not being anti the OP and I believe him that he's really sure she'll say yes, but it does prove how high some people hold the London marathon in esteem, while others don't. I think that maybe the crux of it.

If you're determined to do it at the race, I would avoid telling the rest of her family in advance. 

Let her have the pleasure of doing that afterwards.  They won't be able to resist telling other people, so she'll end up being the last to know.

(And asking her father? Really, no.)

Wilkie wrote (see)

If you're determined to do it at the race, I would avoid telling the rest of her family in advance. 

Let her have the pleasure of doing that afterwards.  They won't be able to resist telling other people, so she'll end up being the last to know.

(And asking her father? Really, no.)

For people who still do that, imagine how awkward if daddy said no!

KK, WIlkie - you guys must have a different kind of father to me.  My husband asked my dad - not if he could 'have' me  because we had already decided to get married, but he met with him alone to tell him face to face (we lived in another country) that he had asked me to marry him and I had said yes.  I advised my sisters boyfriend to do the same. They would have started married life off with my dad holding a grudge otherwise. I can't bear to think how upset my dad would have been had DH not spoken to him.

Not because there is a need for a yes or no  - but some folks expect to be asked or told in private out of courtesy.  Everyone involved knows it's a formality but some fathers or mothers would be mightily p*ssed off not to be included. 

Wilkie wrote (see)

If you're determined to do it at the race, I would avoid telling the rest of her family in advance. 

Let her have the pleasure of doing that afterwards.  They won't be able to resist telling other people, so she'll end up being the last to know.

(And asking her father? Really, no.)

H didn't ask my dad before we got engaged, & his nose was put right out of joint over it. When they were next together things were a bit tense until they had a man to man chat & blamed me for being difficult. 

Nope, I don't get it either. 

Trouble is, I'm not entirely convinced he'd have given permission. If you are unsure of the answer, don't ask the question. Always better to seek forgiveness than be denied permission... 

GymAddict wrote (see)

KK, WIlkie - you guys must have a different kind of father to me... 

Not because there is a need for a yes or no  - but some folks expect to be asked or told in private out of courtesy.  Everyone involved knows it's a formality but some fathers or mothers would be mightily p*ssed off not to be included. 

I do find that strange - you say you lived in another country, is your father not British?  If so, maybe it's a cultural thing?

If my dad was not happy about not being asked, he hid it completely (twice).   I don't think it even occurred to my fiances that they should ask/tell my father first - and the first of these was a very long time ago - nearly thirty years ago.

Asking permission has never been a problem both times I've been engaged as it was spur of the moment.
Letting my parents meet my fiances before getting engaged might have been wise though

Sansom - I think it sounds like a good idea. It's the kind of proposal I'd like (and only you can judge whether your girlfriend would like it). I hoped my boyfriend might propose when we were on top of Kilimanjaro - he didn't, but he did ask me while we were balanced on a rock bridge 500m up in Wadi Rum! It was spectacular.

Re: the ring - some women might like the option of choosing the ring and to save on the anxiety of picking the right ring yourself and carrying it around a marathon - why not buy a cheap lookalike engagement ring (from Accessorize say) so you have something to propose with and then you can choose the real one together.

Wilkie wrote (see)

(And asking her father? Really, no.)

My first husband didn't ask my father's permission.

I asked my Dad to give me away though - and he said no!

LOL I was living in England, my dad was in Scotland.  But it still may well be a cultural thing. It was 20 years ago.

i am in the BIG FAT NO crew.

terrible idea. i ran london this year and by the "big day" i was wrecked and tired and totally overexcited, couldnt wait to get to the start line. got my head down and did my thing for the run. then forgot my name after the finish line and just wanted chips, a hot bath and my bed. i certainly didnt want a marriage proposol. i wouldve totally not appreciated what was being asked of me!!! i was lucky i had three supporters after the race to get me back to my hotel.

why dont you book a sexy spa hotel for the next weekend and propose in private, with champagne, in your hotel room. or something.

Sansom, ignore the doubters and go for it.