Barkles, you've got a long way to go...but it's a great question.
Hildegard, definitely dodgy, he either got it free with his Barclaycard points or from a bloke down the pub.
I've never bought my other half a 'worst' present, they're always in good taste and conveying exactly the right amount of love, thoughtfulness and generosity. (He asked for that Black & Decker workbench, honestly).
We're past the stage of romantic gestures since: I just don't wear things like that or: never liked that perfume anyway. I once got a bottle of Loulou perfume, hated it, said so (a bit more delicately) only to be presented with another bottle next time he went through the duty free.
These days I just give a list of book titles, or say I'd like eg 'A Lowe Alpine fleece, I'll buy it myself, just give me a cheque'. At least then I know if fits and is exactly what I want. That reminds me of the flowery outfit from Country Casuals he got me for my birthday last year - how old does he think I am???