This was CrazyDiamond's suggestion so here goes.....
To start things off....
I am sick of my current work situation, it seemed to be going well for a bit, now (perhaps due to prolonged stress) I feel as though its all going really, really wrong.
Changed career direction a few years ago which seemed like a good idea at the time, but I have little interest in what I'm doing these days. Constant bloody headache, the whole thing. Now, I'm seriously considering moving back to science again. Oh wow, how great that'll look on the resume!
I want to say to the 'Team' Lead - go f**k yourself you nasty little b***h. Not constructive I know. What I will do (constructive), is look to move disciplines within this company. Crazy how I did the exact same thing several years ago now at a different company.
Perhaps I'm giving off really negative vibes, but try working flat-out for months, and when you're ill, dealing with new colleagues once again, new everything, and then the underlying expectation that you perform at your best throughout.
I am at the stage where I don't give a s**t about any of it anymore. Have had enough.
In her eyes I probably am rubbish as I am on a learning curve right now, so I am not efficient yet - I have mainly worked on projects in the middle, not at the start which has a whole different set of criteria.
Just had an appraisal (which went fine) and had a pay rise.
Reading what you've written, you've moved disciplines before, with another Company, you feel your team leader over-pressures you and doesn't rate you, yet you just had an appraisal that resulted in a pay rise. I think you need to reassess what work looks like, seems you're not doing too badly, maybe you've got more than you think, maybe you set standards too high for yourself. The switch won't work now any more than it did last time, so consider persevering and improving where you are.
RM - appraisal and pay rise were based on the work I did on another project (with a different team). I was on the project for about a year.
This is a whole different ball game - new team, different type of project. The company hasn't been doing as well, has fewer projects on its books, so the one I'm on is considered a major project and there is a lot more at stake here.
My plan was to persevere and get better at what I do, but my perception of how the Lead reacts to me is that I'm not doing a good enough job because she re-writes everything I do, and isn't satisfied with the way I do things - my way of thinking and approach to tasks is different to hers.
You have simple choices, do as she wishes and do it well (just get on with it) or get her to see your way as best, then you get to do it the way you choose. Would she be open to trying it your way? if your way proves to be more effective she will see it and go along. If not over to you
If you don't give a shit then what is the problem? Do what you want. You don't give a shit. Or are you just full of shit?
NW4 - Hmm, food for thought.
I might be more effective at being able to do what you suggest when I'm not so bloody tired and stressed out all the time. I also work better when there is some kind of relief from the stress i.e. having a laugh with people at work/outside of work, but there isn't even the time for that as the whip is being cracked on us due to the workload. There hasn't been any social stuff initiated to encourage team 'bonding' (sorry about the cliche there) because there isn't the time. So, thats where the running comes in....keeps me as close to sane as possible.
There is a lot of major stuff going on at home too. We're about to go on holiday (which should reduce the above for a bit at least - we'll get some headspace), and we're trying to close a house purchase. Hubby doesn't know if his job is safe yet as his project is finishing early. He doesn't know where he is going to next workwise, but he just got promoted so I think he'll be ok. We're also trying to deal with difficult M-I-L.....blah, blah, blah, yawn.
Is your lead the person who did your appraisal and recommended you get a pay rise?
If so then I think your problem is mainly one of perception.
We have a whole load of "new" going on at work at the moment - new way of working, new systems (one of which we were given no traning on as it was sworn blind we would never have to use - we do), new people, temps to look after.
It's an absolute pain on the *rse at the moment, stressful and frustrating but it will calm down eventually.
People change and move on. Situations change. The only reason to jump ship is if you really don't like the job you are doing any longer or a difficult situation never improves.
Thanks Screamapillar for your input... something to mull over too. Actually, I had a conversation today with a Manager in the Infrastructure & Env't group who said that they could do with me in their group. Encouraging to hear. Also the skills I have acquired doing my current role will apparently be helpful even on the science side of things as they manage their own projects...
I am listening to 80's rock ballards.
They are not love songs they are hard rock cos I is hard. I am not crying.
Just so we have that sorted. That's all.
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