Things you want to say but can't

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28/06/2011 at 09:51
Dear college

Sort a room out for me- I'm sitting here like a lemon


28/06/2011 at 10:20
Little Nemo - No more marathons! wrote (see)


I suspect if you actually played tennis it would be a lot more useful if you showed slo-mo of how they move the raquet over the ball to get spin/slice etc.

Yes that would make much more sense - what's the point of a slow mo "reaction" anyway, the whole point of reactions is that they are quick, heat of the moment things...or some of them are anyway.

The whole fist punching thing after every point is drving me barmy. They all f*cking do it now, even the women. I don't remember Messrs Borg, Sampras or even McEnroe feeling the need to do anything like that - and can you imagine Chris Evert or Virginia Wade doing it? Me neither.

28/06/2011 at 10:43

And (following on from Screamie's above) what about the good old days when a wrong decision was given against one player, giving the advantage (unfairly) to the other?  Remember how the person who gained the advantage unfairly would then deliberately mess up the next point to return the score to its rightful level?

+ 1 for exit of the Williams sisters - too much bling, too much noise.  They're just too much.

Although they are more modest now than they used to be.

28/06/2011 at 10:49

All i want is a reply to my email. I'd even accept a phone call. I've emailed nicely, firmly and now i'm getting annoyed. Stop being a prat and just tell me what i need to know and then you get crawl under whatever rock you came out of.

*rant over*

28/06/2011 at 11:00

I don't mind the Williams sisters as much as I used to apart from the noises they make. But it would have been a travesty if they had won after being off with injury for so long. The rest of the women might just as well have quit altogether!

No one used to grunt or scream before Monica Seles, I blame it all on bloody Nick Bolliteri

LIVERBIRD    pirate
28/06/2011 at 11:05

Dear Sky.

Funny how you called last week wanted £100 a year to "look after" my box now it's reached the end of your warranty and you reckon you're no longer responsible for it...

Now I turn it on and find you've done "an update" overnight. I am supposed to press "select" and everything will be hunky dory.

Except when I DO, I find my ENTIRE PLANNER is gone and I cannot record stuff. Apparently I'm supposed to call you and you'll charge me £65 to sort it.

Well FUCK THAT - YOU BROKE IT now you can damn well fix it.

This isn't "look after your car for a fucking quid" territory.

And if my planner is REALLY deleted I will be VERY pissed off. Some of the stuff on there is really important to me.

LIVERBIRD    pirate
28/06/2011 at 11:14

Dear Kirsty Allsop. We all KNOW you've got boys so what are you doing pretending to be the mum of two girls on that ad?

Lying to me.

I shall now presume that the product is crap too.

28/06/2011 at 11:30

Isn't she advertising chewing gum?  Making like "OK, it's chavvy, but it's good for your teeth....."

28/06/2011 at 11:35

It would appear that there are advantages in not being able to afford to have Sky. 

Dear self...

You utter fucking muppet locking yourself out of car and house this morning.  That £65 could have been spent on far more useful things this month! 

28/06/2011 at 12:05

I sorta get the quick expulsion of air thing about the grunt, I remember Jimmy Connors doing it way back, but some of the women make it so protracted that it's still going on when the other player hits the ball and I really can't see how it's all as unavoidable as they make out.

Which just makes it unsporting in my book

28/06/2011 at 12:21

I can see that it helps with rhythm, i.e. making sure you're breathing out when you hit the ball. And I can see how the point goes on you'd be getting more out of breath so some noise is inevitable, BUT making that noise from the v. first point is ridiculous. Especially when I once saw Sharapova play a whole service game with no noise at all.

Dear Me

So you were supposed to go for Body Conditioning at 12:30 but you've just realised you have no cash and not enough time to get to cashpoint and back. Hmmm, starting to wonder if my sub-concious doesn't want to get fit...

28/06/2011 at 12:21
XFR Bear wrote (see)

...some of the women make it so protracted that it's still going on when the other player hits the ball and I really can't see how it's all as unavoidable as they make out.

do you think they are faking it?

28/06/2011 at 12:44
Depends what you mean by faking it, but I suspect some of it isn't just a natural part of the action
28/06/2011 at 12:54

"I don't mind the Williams sisters as much as I used to"

Please get it right, it's the Williams brothers.

LIVERBIRD    pirate
28/06/2011 at 13:34

Nam - SEVENTY QUID A MONTH we pay for the effing BOX!

I am still not calm....

28/06/2011 at 13:47

You dont look calm LB !

I told Sky to shove their box where the sun dont shine a long time ago, they sent two idiots round here both wearing Rigger Boots!! covered in mud, about to walk in the door onto cream coloured carpet (Told them no demanded that they take their boots off)!! repair my brand new box.......they had brought  a reconditioned one that came out of the Ark, I told them what to do with that and the broken one, then the cheeky buggers tried selling me dodgy handbags!

LIVERBIRD    pirate
28/06/2011 at 14:06

Don't you just love em?

THe last "Sky engineer" I actually had at my house was someone who lived round the corner from me when I was growing up. (Which is known as Shitsville)

He was a well known thief and time served drug dealer with a prison record longer than my shopping list and when he came in and said "I didn't know you lived HERE" I was crapping my pants that I'd be burgled in the next few weeks.

I wasn't thankfully but it shows that Sky don't vet very well.

He did give me a new sky box though.

LIVERBIRD    pirate
28/06/2011 at 14:08

Dear person whom my ex left me for when I was 17. I have waited 21 YEARS to see what you're up to now.

You've married a munter, he's not done any better and you've aged like a picture of Dorian Gray.


Mr LB pisses all over yours.

Edited: 28/06/2011 at 14:09
LIVERBIRD    pirate
28/06/2011 at 14:11

*hugs herself*

28/06/2011 at 14:21
(you should be careful looking up Ex's on the internet)
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