Things you want to say but can't

A chance to get it off your chest

101 to 120 of 18,925 messages
31/08/2010 at 16:03
JWrun wrote (see)
To the oldish (probably early 60s) women in the changing room - the last thing I was to see after a session in the gym and particularly first thing in the morning is you talcing your twinkle.

HAHAHAHAHA... some of these are really good but this one had to be the best!!!
31/08/2010 at 16:10

Dear local constabulary

Please learn to read the f*cking street name, you know those two that you passed to get to our house, before knocking on our door at 1.00 in the morning... Our house is not number oofer of That Street... It's number herhum of This Road and Carl doesn't live here.  FFS!!! 

Thank you

Bleary Eyed Sleepy Head

gingerfurball    pirate
31/08/2010 at 16:13

Dear Person in My Personal Space in the queue

Your breathing and sighing on the back of my neck will not make the queue any faster or shorter but is in fact bringing you much closer to a handbag/crotch interface.

 Thank you kindly

31/08/2010 at 16:14
Ditto to the shopping basket in the back of my knees Furry ...
31/08/2010 at 16:24
I love "handbag/crotch interface"!  I usually keep my foot sticking out behind me to ward off those back- of-my-neck breathers.
31/08/2010 at 16:26
Good idea Vicky and perhaps a nice big calf stretch behind you would keep them at bay too.  
31/08/2010 at 16:31
Or a nice big yawn and stretching of the arms! 
31/08/2010 at 17:10
That is a baby buggy, not a battering ram.  Please mind where you're pushing it when the street or shop is busy as I quite like the skin on the back of my ankles
31/08/2010 at 17:11

Those big coloured boxes with bikes painted in them at traffic lights? They are for cyclists, not for you to edge into to get a head start when the lights change.

Equally, those nicely coloured lanes on the left hand side of the road with the bikes painted on them? They too are for cyclists. Not for you to edge into to try and get past the car turning right. 

And Mr 7ft-tall-My-Neck-is-Bigger-than-my-Head who walks his Saffordshire Bull Terrier along the alleyways behind my house, you are committing a criminal offence by allowing your dog to sh!t here. Every single day. Children play in these alleys. I cycle them and have indeed crashed whilst trying to avoid one of your dog's deposits. I caught you in the act once, luckily while walking my, much bigger, dog. I offered you a poop bag, which, to be fair, you used. How hard can it be to come out, prepared?!

Booo    pirate
31/08/2010 at 17:47

Hello, mr xxxxxxx tanker driver company transport manager? Could you please let the arsehole driving one of your tankers down the **** that if he drives straight on to a roundabout that I am navigating causing me to brake sharply then tries to ram me off the road because I need to get round him to take the required exit ever again, that I will stop him, remove him from his elegantly decorated cab and rip his f**king throat out !!!

Edited: 31/08/2010 at 18:14
31/08/2010 at 17:49
 -ooh Brucie!!
31/08/2010 at 18:08
Just because I am female does not mean I wish to coo over or hold your baby. Actually I would like to get as far away from it as possible. And no, it won't be me next. Thank you.
LIVERBIRD    pirate
31/08/2010 at 18:24

(When pregnant - not now thank god)

If you touch my bump I shall see this as an invitation to tickle your balls.....

31/08/2010 at 18:36
Excuse me sweetheart, but this is a cycle path. There is a painted picture of a bicycle just ahead of you to prove it. That thing alongside us, with a painted symbol of a person walking, is a footpath. You are a pedestrian, so you should be over there. I am a cyclist, so I am supposed to be over here. I think you are being quite cretinous by a) walking along a clearly-defined cycle path and b) twiddling with your mobile phone while doing so, and being totally oblivious to your surroundings. So don't get abusive with me when I stop right in front of you and startle you. And no, you moron, I was not going too fast. If I was going too fast I wouldn't have stopped in time and would have gone straight into your stupid fat face.
31/08/2010 at 18:44
'Have a nice day' my arse - I woke up feeling grouchy and that's the way I intend to go to bed, so you can stick your meaningless customer speak up your jacksie...

LIVERBIRD    pirate
31/08/2010 at 19:26

Greeting from across the pond. Anyone would think I were an Evertonian.
31/08/2010 at 19:33

various 'customer service' 'help-lines' when you have rung to complain:-

'was there anything else I can help you with today' and while you are saying 'no' talk over you saying ' thank you for calling British Gas today'  to which I would love to say ' FFS I did not WANT TO RING TODAY, I HAD NO F****** CHOICE BECAUSE OF YOUR LOUSY SERVICE!

Edited: 31/08/2010 at 19:34
LIVERBIRD    pirate
31/08/2010 at 19:35
LJB1 - tell them about your imaginary haemorrhoids and ask them if they can recommend a cream because you find THEM a pain in the arse too!
31/08/2010 at 19:44
Every right has a responsibility?. Face up  to your responsibilities or shut up about your flipping rights!
31/08/2010 at 19:57
Dear cat loving work mate
I hate cats
I don't want talk about your cat
or see photos or talk about the cost of vet bills
or decide if you should get a kitten to keep tiddles company
Nor do I wish to pass judgement on women who put cats in wheelie bins
I don't care that you found a lump on your cats neck
I don't know if its cancer I hope it isn't coz you would never shut up ifit was
Please understand I hatecats
I hate you
101 to 120 of 18,925 messages
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