Things you want to say but can't

A chance to get it off your chest

121 to 140 of 18,930 messages
31/08/2010 at 20:06

Dear People who don't live in my city

I'm not interested in how you think my city should be run.

What buildings should be saved. Or what my council tax should be spent on

I'm not interested that you lived there 30 years ago and things were different then.

Your opinion does no longer matter and unless you move back and pay council tax it will continue not to matter.

31/08/2010 at 20:17
Good morning, attractive young busty lady from the accounts dept. I have always found you highly pleasing to the eye, especially your chest, and even more so on days like today when you are wearing that low-cut top and spilling out of it. I often have to deal with you and have difficulty maintaining polite contact with your eyes while wishing to admire the goodies below. Do you mind awfully if I just put my face between them and slobber?
31/08/2010 at 20:19

Life is amazing, I can't think of a single thing to moan about, I feel a bit of pity for all you negative people

(Mind you if somebody tried to talk to me about their cat I would happily turn my back and ignore them... maybe being a bit arrogant is good for your mental state overall!)

31/08/2010 at 20:21
i was once running muttley and the HOTTEST girl walked past, when i turned round to ogle her without stopping i hit a bollard right in the nuts and was kind of doubled over dangling on the top of it with tears in my eyes.  some sort of instant anti-letch karma
31/08/2010 at 20:24

I feel your pain.

This is why I wear mirror shades when running.

31/08/2010 at 20:48

Dear art gallery people.Art is in the eye of the beholder.Modern art is subjective

I dont the read the Observer or the Guardian so I'm not up to speed with the latest fashions in the art world

So how about helping me out and explain what the F**k it is I'm looking at

Its a tank with a dead shark in it. My first thoughts were "wow .........erm?"

Its a cow cut in half, my first thoughts "its very pink"

it obviously meant some post-neo-modernist statement on summat or t'other but guess what no-one was available to explain to me

you just presume I know is this the emperor's new clothes thing going on? I mean a Henry Moore sculptor is big and imposing but does it mean anything? Really? a big lump of bronze with 2 holes in it what does it mean?

"oooh its marvellous an empty room with the lights going on and off obviously a comment on the Post Thatcherite years and trauma of the poll tax riots"

Now go in the National gallery  theres a painting by bloke who cut his ear off, yet it looks like a vase of Sunflowers, good, I can relate to that, it doesnt need explaining.

So Dear Artiste If your going to do something that I random bloke in street cant understand by looking at it please put a note on it explaining.

Edited: 31/08/2010 at 20:49
31/08/2010 at 20:48
i've got a helmet cam somewhere that i mainly use to record snow banks, trees and stationary people crashing into me when skiing.  might rig it up to my running shades.  letchcam!
31/08/2010 at 20:49
x=post, but it kind of still works!
31/08/2010 at 20:54
if you've got a camera on your helmet you should probably call it gyno-cam
31/08/2010 at 20:57
31/08/2010 at 20:57
it's 3 inches long, so would at least double the length too.  viagrogynocam
31/08/2010 at 21:00

back to the original topic...


31/08/2010 at 21:07
i thought we were discussing hidden cameras?
31/08/2010 at 21:10
LIVERBIRD wrote (see)
LJB1 - tell them about your imaginary haemorrhoids and ask them if they can recommend a cream because you find THEM a pain in the arse too!

LMAO  - or maybe the haemorrhoids

Candy/Muttley - class interaction there

Edited: 31/08/2010 at 21:11
31/08/2010 at 21:14

Dear gnats, fleas, mosquitoes and other bitey insect denizens.


My f*cking body is covered with big f*cking lumps from an innocent day's sunbathing on the one f*cking day the sun came out in this pissing washout of an august. 


Eat shit like your mates the flies, but leave my arms, legs and head the f*ck alone. Or go down maccy d's and get a mcflurry...


Edited: 31/08/2010 at 21:15
31/08/2010 at 21:16
Granted I could say that to each passing insect but as there's so many of the feckers....and I'd probably get carted away by the men in white coats.
31/08/2010 at 21:20

insects are people too!

in fact they are better than some.  eg scousers and brummies and that

31/08/2010 at 21:26

In need of help

Due to put my bins out tonight and can't remember which bin the neighbours cat goes in is it red or blue???

31/08/2010 at 21:47
I noticed we now have "landfill" bins where I work... which gave me a great idea on what to do with the legions of middle managers round the place...
31/08/2010 at 23:48

 I sometimes get the urge to say to people (but don't):

' You are not half as important as you think you are.'

 Don't tell me what to do, just get on with it yourself'

'Don't just hold that cigarette letting the smoke choke me, stuff it in your face'

'Get out of my way. If I was walking, you would let me pass!'

(Thanks!! I needed that)

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