Things you want to say but can't

A chance to get it off your chest

14,321 to 14,340 of 16,413 messages
25/01/2013 at 09:52

Hahah! whilst I'm on a roll... I have always thought this..

Bono and your celebrity pals,

I love to give money to charity, I don't need you to continually ask me to open my wallet time and time again. Just a suggestion, but if you really want to make a difference maybe you could sell one of your six or seven houses? after all you can only live in one of them?!  How many cars have you got?! Live a modest lifestyle, give the rest of your millions to the people you say you want to make a difference to. Not through one of your many fund raisers, just give your own money, that you've earned. As "normal" working people do. Until then, you tax dodging little turd, back off bitch.... And don't wear Sunglasses to a funeral, you just look even more of a tosser.

25/01/2013 at 11:17

Fuck off, you condescending prick!

25/01/2013 at 12:09

SuperCaz - we're not working for the same end customer are we?

25/01/2013 at 13:15

Yes you might be the best recruitment agent in the business... But you are the 5th person to tell me that you have the exclusive rights to a job.... and it doesn't fit my cv even if I lie a bit !!!!

25/01/2013 at 15:18

We could well do Cheshercat.

Update:  This project is mega urgent and heads will roll if we don't meet the deadline.  So we have decided to put it on hold until we can get everyone around the table to work out which way to go, NEXT WEDNESDAY!  So that's almost another week wasted then.  Which now gives us only 2 weeks to work out a manufacturing process that works and successfully make the first batch.


Edited: 25/01/2013 at 15:22
25/01/2013 at 16:25

Pull your trousers up. We don't want to see your pants when you walk down the street.

25/01/2013 at 16:39

You're speeding down a dual carriageway in the inside lane. The car in the outside lane has stopped at a zebra crossing to let a pedestrian cross. Bearing in mind the recent weather conditions and the black ice you should expect the roads might be slippery in places. The pedestrian standing at the zebra crossing is wearing a full reflective jacket and their headtorch is switched on even though morning has just about broken through. The pedstrian steps carefully onto the zebra and suddenly you have to slam on your brakes. The pedstrian has to quickly jump back to take evading action. Fortunately, your brand new company car has an excellent braking system and comes to a stop at least 6 inches form the crossing. Why then, were you surprised, when I started to call you all the stupid bastards under the sun for driving like a twat ? Dont put your window down to try and explain your actions to me. You were driving like an irresponsible twat that you clearly are. 

25/01/2013 at 19:39
Wow this thread is amazing!!I need to change my username to something a bit less identifible and think I will be here lots
25/01/2013 at 19:47
Mother in law, do you think we can get through one Friday evening without twenty text messages and three phone calls from you because you are bored?it is the only evening during the whole week we get some time together and feel as though you are sat on the end of the settee with us. We are in our thirties and as much as we love to hear from you you are suffocating. We don't care what's on at 9.00pm we have a TV guide thankyou, or care what the weather will be like tomorrow, or want to tell you our plans for the forthcoming week second by second. Go and get a hobby relax have fun leave us alone for one evening please :-/
25/01/2013 at 21:06

Dear Warburtons potato cakes: I wish you weren't so tasty.

25/01/2013 at 21:26

Dear Gas company whose name begins with British. I don't know why you have sent me a cheque for the best part of £400 *.  As far as I was concerned, we didn't pay you for a year as we never got bills, but at the end of the year I rang you, gave you meter readings and payed what you said we owed. But I'm not going to quibble it's going straight into the bank.

Dear electric company whose many starts with Southern. How on earth do we owe you £1000 for 3 months electric?! That said as it appears we do, and my partner and I are liable for 2/5 of it, I know where that cheque from British Gas is going!

* I have on theory and I hope it's wrong. I suspect I will get a letter from same company saying, "You haven't payed your electricity bill, it comes for £366!

25/01/2013 at 21:59

Mental health care in this country is utter bollocks. 

26/01/2013 at 19:13

Agreed Bookie.

Dear hog roast company.  Thank you for making my day by using my own GF bread when making your lovely rolls and not charging me full price

27/01/2013 at 09:33

Ok so you're family in some way, I sat next to you all night and I know you'll never work due to your back, but at 25 this is not realistic get off your fat arse and put up with it, go earn a f*****g living you scrounger, and last of all don't complain to me that you can't afford a holiday for your kids (on MY TAX !) when you drank more than anyone last night - Fuming!!

28/01/2013 at 14:57

Dear weather: please make your bl**dy mind up. In the last hour my umbrella has been up and down like a Frenchman's trousers!

28/01/2013 at 15:49

To the sports shop who's name contains the words Direct and Sport but not necessarily in that order.

When you ask me if I want to pay by PalPay, or similar, and I say yes, you kindly directed me to the said PalPay, or similar, page. I entered my password as normal but you said you were unable to process the payment at this time. A short while later I tried again with the same result. As such, I decided to pay using my debit card and this process was lovely and seemless. 

Imagine my surprise when PalPay, or similar, send me not one but TWO emails to say that YOU now have TWO payments for the item I purchased PLUS another payment that you took using my debit card.

When you have a Contact Us page it is normal to display a telephone number where customers (those people who you are supposed to be providing a service too) can ring you. When I then write a message to you on the Contact Form I do NOT expect all my text to suddenly disappear and I have to write it again. And when I have written it again I expect you to contact me on the details I provided to try and resolve the problem YOU have caused. I would also have expected you to contact me upon receipt of the two emails I then sent you or at least send some sort of acknowledgement.

I now realise why your prices are so cheap. Your system is crap and you obviously employ monkeys in your call centres.

I dont expect you to resolve this issue overnight even though I have sent you 3 emails cancelling this, and another order, I have recently placed. On the contrary, I expect you will deliver the items and then expect me to return them to you, where I will no doubt incur postage costs, before you refund me the money you have taken without my authorisation. I also expect that when you eventually do get round to refunding my money it will take 4 working days to clear my account unlike the instant clearance you can perform when you are actually taking money from me.


28/01/2013 at 16:43

Dear Grauniad,

If I have to read one more article about what "is" and "isn't" "feminist" I will scream.

I regard myself as a feminist and as far as I am concerned it is about equality and freedom of choice. It isn't about whether to wear f*cking high heels or not. And, while there are REAL issues that still need to be addressed, like the sort of genuine discrimination women face in India, you seem to promote the idea that there is some sort of gender war going on - from what I see in my life day to day there really isn't.

FFS sake find something else to write about!

29/01/2013 at 08:20

So, you have finally responded to my email but you have completely ignored it's contents. 'I want to cancel both orders' does not mean ' we have dispatched your orders'. I do not want your goods and I do not want to deal with you again. Get it sorted

29/01/2013 at 13:41

Dear unnamed government department who deal with the country's Revenue and Customs duties

If I bother to write to you to give you notice of deductible expenses incurred and charitable givings, please have the courtesy to 1: record this on my file and do something about it without me call you three times to chase, 2: Call me back more than once to discuss it without leaving a hugely cryptic voicemail message, 3: Send the letter that you proimsed, 4: Calculate my overpayments and underpayments correctly, and even calculating how much my tax code should have moved because of the expenses and gift aid correctly, and 5: Just give me my f@cking money, to misquote an enobled Irishman.  I now have to go through 8 years of records to recalculate payments and liabilities to work out exactly what they have taken, when they have taken it and why, and the differences between the 2.  I am so so glad that I now have to do the calculation for them on an annual basis, and take that little right out of their hands.  Useless b@st@rds.

Edited: 29/01/2013 at 13:41
29/01/2013 at 14:41

"I have a PPI claim amount of 10 million pounds with your name on it blah blah blah"

... That's odd because I've never had a PPI policy, I have a knuckle sandwich with your name on it.

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