A chance to get it off your chest
"Take it you are out?"
Yeah, because I so totally go out. I'm out all the time. In fact I'm a veritable matron of going outness! Especially since that works night out you entirely fucked up for me so that you could go out on the lash with your mate. And giving me an hour to call back because you're tired....how about a big old FUCK YOU!
All of the above, accomplished
I've made a decision. I hope its not the wrong one
Yes, I do have a beautiful, clean, serene desk with flowers other pretty things on it. I prefer not to work in a slum like the rest of you do.
OMactualG. You're a 33 year old mother of three, you're expecting 'bean' number four in roughly eight months, you're always complaining that you're skint (because the social keep mucking up your payments). Why in the name of everything decent would you go on facebook to 'boast' about seeing Justin Beiber this evening?
I mean really, why?
Between that and the blatantly racist post you put on your page last week (about the travesty of paying immigrant families social), I may find myself removing my own sister in law from my friends list!
Dear coleslaw, why, whenever I eat you, do you make a bee-line for my scarf? not only that but it's always the same scarf!
Too early for a G&T? Surely not?
I'm starting on the wine very soon. Been holding off for an hour and I can't do that for much longer
I actually left the gin at home (at the OH's now) which is a damn shame! I am however going to have a wee glass of red while I make the curry, then we're off for a wander to the pub once he gets in. Poor soul sounds like he needs a pint!
Crazy Diamond wrote (see)
Too early for a G&T? Surely not?
No you stupid bint, Justin Beiber is not a "sexy little man". I say this because he is the least sexy being on the face of the earth presently and whether or not he is indeed a man is up for question and yet to be confirmed!
And btw, if I see you bang on about eating a whole roast chicken, whilst blaming it on your 'bean', one more time I may just have to come down there and beat you to actual death with my puppie's rubber chicken.
By 'eck, you're not a rubbish mum, you are just waiting to have an impromptu party. Last minute parties can be far more fun than those planned to the last inch, those sort never come up to expectations. Depending on age he might not even notice, but don't try it for a 10 year old I would guess.
lorry drivers on the A1: if you pull out to overtake another lorry, please overtake said lorry. Do not drive alongside for 5 miles before realising you are going at +/- 1mph of the same speed, and then pull in behind the very same lorry you have been trying to overtake. I'm no speed merchant, but 61mph in the outside lane in clear conditions is probably not the optimum travelling speed.Oh and vauxhall drivers: its no crime to use the inside lane if its empty (thats the one on the left)
"Granular level" FFS - what happened to "in detail?"
No, Mister Co-Worker, just because I mentioned that it looks like I'm in for another freezing cold jog tonight, does NOT mean that I want to hear about your "intense" gym work out, which quite frankly, I could probably complete pretty easily ... and if you're such a gym guru, how is it you are still so big?!?! I mean, I don't work out half as hard as you do, according to you, so why is it I have managed to lose a stone in the past six weeks and you still look as big as you did six months ago?!?!
And while we're at it, I do not need comentary on every little thing I do during my working day ("drinking Peppermint Tea, are you?", "Jacket Potato for lunch, is it?") IT'S BLOODY OBVIOUS THAT I AM, SO WHY BOTHER COMMENTING?!?!
Why don't you keep your nose out, pull your trousers down from your armpits, move out of Mummy's and get laid!!!!
Wow!!! I feel tonnes better now!!!!!
@JessicaLouYou know you could solve two out of the last three problems you mention in one fell swoop.
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