Things you want to say but can't

Please don't put pictures of your baby or ultrasound scan on Facebook i really don't care. There are millions of babies born every year and yours is nothing special. It's just going to grow into another screaming brat to annoy me while i'm at Sainsburys.  

I thought the whole purpose of facebook was to annoy people with inane shite about your life that probably no-one would care about absent facebook,

I absolutely fecking hate Faceache.

A lot of self indulgent pap. People basically promoting their own brand and presenting the most sensationalist version of their actually mundane lives to anyone who can be bothered to read their nonsense.

It annoys me everytime someone bloody asks me "are you on Facebook?"

No I'm bloody not!!! I have actual friends that I go to the pub with and hang out with. I don't need 600 "friends" mainly consisting of people I haven't seen for nearly a decade, people from school who I never liked anyway (and they never bothered to speak to me) and people I have never met who happen to share the same view as me about what colour one should paint ones living room or whatever just to massage my ego and contribute further to a culture of "me, me, me".

To Facebook in general I say.. just f**k off.

ah good facebook...
Is it peoples first thought when sitting in Costas to put "coffee at Costas , ahhh" on facebook? Mine is always, why such a miserly packet of biscuit?
or sweaty after a run, I know, I'll log on and put "6 miles done" and then attach a garmin output graph with mile splits, elevation, max/min speed and, as we really care, a haphazard line of the route.
or just landed in Tenerife, I know, I'll post a photo of what an airport somewhere hot looks like (and tell us all your gaff is empty, so we can go round and nick the bikes out your shed)
and please post a picture of your new Kayanos, I really struggle to visualise Asics' finest... 

I'll add I'm on FB only for the club's running related activities, the fact that you have to wade through 99.9% of crap to get to the interesting (!) stuff is what makes me think why bother...

and don't get me started on blogs...

'Just landed oin Tenerife'.

Or 'just left my house completely unattended for at least a week if its a Sunday or Monday, or at least a weekend if its Friday or very early Saturday.  Feel free to take what you can'. 

Just in case someone didn't get that picture of my dinner i'll put it on Twitter aswell just to be sure. 

I can sort of understand the thinking behind taking a picture of dinner if your at The Kitchin, or Claridges (but not why you'd want to post it), but the Harvester / Pizza Express ?? Beggars belief

I took a picture of my dinner at the Harvester.  But only because it was deeply undercooked chicken and I was about to be regurgitating it in the car park.  Really  not a pleasant experience.  They had a rush on the spit roast chicken and had 2 more on the spit than they were supposed to.  Food Standards weren't impressed, and they gave us compensation.  In the form of Harvester vouchers 

Needless to say we didn't go there again.  Other ones were fine, but not that one.  Woodford Green high road, if anyone's interested. This was about 4 years ago though.

Hahaha! I reckon it would be seriously bad form to be seen taking a picture of your dinner in Claridges anyway.

If I was having dinner with someone and they started updating Facebook at the table and messaging etc I would be sorely tempted to grab the phone from them shout "ABRACADABRA" and make it vanish out of the nearest window.

I could start a whole new rant about manners. Or more specifically knuckle draggers that don't have any. And it's not just Chavs either.

Mr B E - but did you post it on FB?
Taking a picture because the food is awful is one thing, sharing it with 600 people you claim to know is another...

I only have 20 friends on FB, and I hadn't joined at that point.

Oh, and I am specifically not friends with any of my family.

dear forumites,

please have the decency to do a little research before starting a 'new' thread!

most of the content can be found already.

thats what the search bar is for

Jason Wintin wrote (see)

dear forumites,

please have the decency to do a little research before starting a 'new' thread!

most of the content can be found already.

thats what the search bar is for

Thought this was supposed to be anonymous and unfindable, not saying it directly to the people concerned...

To my gobby new team mate. You have been doing this particular job for many years so I would like to learn from you as much as I can. I, however, have been dealing with this product a lot longer than you so am happy to share my knowledge with you. This combination should make a strong team. Bearing in mind that I started on this particular project before you I know a bit more about it than you so why do you think it is ok for you to come in and take over the running of the project, changing things that I have done without speaking to me first, going off and having meetings with our boss and not involving me ? I replied to one of your emails but the reply wasnt what you wanted to hear was it ? That was just my first message to you to tell you that if you continue to carry on in this way dont think for one minute that I am going to jump how high you tell me to or that I will just roll over and do what you have decided on your own. We are meant to be working as a team. Next time I will stitch you up so if anything goes wrong you will be left to sort the sh1t out on your own. You used to do the managers job but recently said you couldnt deal with the pressure so why do you think now that you can suddenly start managing everything and everyone yet you are not actually the project manager for what we are working on ? And another thing, I dont want to hear you laughing when you are in another office which is down the corridor and round the corner so keep it buttoned. And I always know when you are arriving in the office as you stamp your way down to our part of the office which alerts everyone to your impending arrival. For someone so small you dont half make a lot of noise.

Dear future boss: thanks for that. Still as clear as mud then?

Mr By 'Eck wrote (see)

Catalin, its not uncommon for people working in mental health to have mental health issues themselves.  He/She might have bi-polar.  Or she might just have excessive PMT.

It's a he. so no to PMT! And definitely not bipolar, more a mooody bastard especially when stressed. And is stressed because he takes too much on. We do wonder whether some of his problems are age related. He's been in his job for a long time and doesn't really like change so hasn't moved with the times. It is hilllarious watching his attempts to interact with technology!

Luckily for me I don't get the worst of it at the moment as my project is at a stage where I can just get on with it. But he does tend to take one piece of informaiton about people and fixate on it. So you could be flavour of tghe month for ages, but if you mess one thing up that's all he sees.

Screampiller - he tends to stomp in past our offices, and we can tell his mood by the stompyness! I say hello if in the corridoor but don't go out of my way to.

Dear fashion shops: do you really have to play f*cking awful R&B all the time? To me it just sounds like whining punctuated by occasional yodelling and I walked straight out of one of you today because I just couldn't stand it any more. If you really have to play that sh*t at least turn it down!

Dustin wrote (see)

I can sort of understand the thinking behind taking a picture of dinner if your at The Kitchin, or Claridges (but not why you'd want to post it), but the Harvester / Pizza Express ?? Beggars belief

If I were out with someone who started facebooking or twittering during dinner, I'd be very put out.  It's just plain bad manners as far as I'm concerned!

People who treat their dogs like a surrogate child. Stop it.
You do know what they use their tongues for as well don't you? So no, I don't want a 'kiss' from Rover/Scampi/Fluff.