Things you want to say but can't

A chance to get it off your chest

14,961 to 14,980 of 16,409 messages
14/06/2013 at 13:23

You're actually making me very, very mentally ill.  I would tell you that but all you'll do is use it as a weapon.

14/06/2013 at 13:45

I've got lots of things to do but I know that as soon as I start one of then you'll give me that other job that you still haven't expained how to do and apparently is so urgent/important.

So in the meatime I'll pootle about on here if you don't mind...

 

((CD))

14/06/2013 at 14:00

Still waiting...

14/06/2013 at 20:45

I think the new kitchen will be lovely, I am really looking forward to seeing it, I know you've spent ages picking bits and bobs for it and you've worked hard witht he builder, also I absolutely love you to bits and think the world of you, but FF sake stop talking about the bastard cupboards, I'm going nuts

14/06/2013 at 21:01

I take it all back, I'm now going to ask all about the new cupboard door handles

14/06/2013 at 22:42

You haven't had anything to eat or drink since last weekend, are you surprised that you can no longer weight bear?

15/06/2013 at 08:44

Adele? An MBE? This is a joke right?

15/06/2013 at 10:36

Seems not Screamapillar! 

15/06/2013 at 14:55
Edited: 15/06/2013 at 15:14
15/06/2013 at 15:27
Cinders wrote (see)

Seems not Screamapillar! 

By comparison Shirley Bassey didn't get her CBE until 1993. I mean do you just have to be famous for 5 minutes to get one now?

15/06/2013 at 16:05

Dear Dyson

It's been a short and unfulfilling few months.  You impressed initially, despite my concerns over our compatibility, your efficiency, your reputation and your generally recognised malaise.  But it has come to pass that you really are everything I had read about...everything people had told me about and more.  You have let me down, you have let the house down, more importantly though, you've let the dog down - he does so love chasing you around the house.

So, it is with no regret that I shall be consigning you to your rightful place in the garage and I have no choice but to inform the landlady, to whom you belong, that you have been a very naughty mechanical device and that you now need to "piss off".

I have missed my little Henry so much since you cruelly usurped him.  I can't wait to welcome him back in to the fold and set about the dog with him. 

Yours unfaithfully

CD

16/06/2013 at 13:18

CD, I'm also a fan of Henry. Much better than Dyson. Definitely belongs in the garage!

17/06/2013 at 11:47

Attempting to throttle Nigella seems to me like an entirely reasonable thing to do.

17/06/2013 at 12:47

You've just eaten 2 mahoosive kebabs and are currently snoffling your way through a packet of crisps and this afternoon - you will stink as the after effects of your lunch become apparent.

I hate working in an office with you.

Edited: 17/06/2013 at 12:47
17/06/2013 at 12:59
Screamapillar wrote (see)
Cinders wrote (see)

Seems not Screamapillar! 

By comparison Shirley Bassey didn't get her CBE until 1993. I mean do you just have to be famous for 5 minutes to get one now?

Yes, I believe that is the criterion.

17/06/2013 at 13:57

Dear Ian Brady:

Why should anybody give you anything you want ever?

And when you do finally cop it, you'll be given a respectful cremation and interment somewhere - unlike your victims.

If it was up to me, after you die you'd be put in a wheelie bin and sent to landfill for the seagulls to have a go at. In fact, before you die would be even better. 

17/06/2013 at 15:50
Muttley wrote (see)

Attempting to throttle Nigella seems to me like an entirely reasonable thing to do.

If a bloke grabbed me "playfully" by the throat I'd kick him "playfully" in the bollocks 

17/06/2013 at 19:04
Screamapillar wrote (see)
Muttley wrote (see)

Attempting to throttle Nigella seems to me like an entirely reasonable thing to do.

If a bloke grabbed me "playfully" by the throat I'd kick him "playfully" in the bollocks 

Don't worry Ladies! If your partner is abusive to you, like grabbing you by the throat, you don't need to get upset! You're just having a playful tiff, and he's just trying to emphasise his point. Because clearly you're a silly little girl that just isn't listening to what Your Man is telling you, so he has to physically abuse you to get you to see his point of view. It's all your fault really, at the end of the day, you daft little ovary-bearer... 

17/06/2013 at 20:18

I must admit he sounds like an utter twat Emmy - bet it's no coincidence his first wife divorced him on the grounds of "unreasonable behaviour". 

I think the point several people have made is if he can do this in public, what's he like in private?

17/06/2013 at 20:27

When my ex-husband and I used to argue, he would say "You're not LISTENING to me!"  

I would reply that I WAS listening, I just wasn't agreeing with him.

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