Wedding Present

How much cash to give?

1 to 20 of 31 messages
16/06/2013 at 17:56

My brother's getting married next week and as both he and his future trouble and strife have their own homes they've asked for cash rather than presents.

Does anybody have an idea what's considered the right sort of amount to give? I live in Ireland and there's pretty much a flat rate of €250, maybe more if you're a close relative.

seren nos    pirate
16/06/2013 at 17:59

I would never give any relative any amount like that.......but then i don't have large amounts of money..........

so i would expect that it would depend on your personal finances is a strange thing to ask for......if they have all that they want then why ask for more.....

16/06/2013 at 18:04

The right sort of amount to give is always the amount you can afford to give.

Edited: 16/06/2013 at 18:05
16/06/2013 at 18:11

How much is a toaster these days? expecting anything above this is just plain cheek 

16/06/2013 at 18:22

my,colleague got married recently we gave them £50 in John Lewis vouchers.

16/06/2013 at 18:35

Fair enough. I don't expect that they're expecting anything like that, its just that in Ireland its pretty much a flat rate (bloody Celtic Tiger) and I didn't know if it was the same in the UK (its been a while).

17/06/2013 at 00:27

They might just as well sell tickets. That way if you can't afford it, you don't go. A flat rate/going rate seems a bit of a liberty to me. Tell them you're making a donation to charity instead.

17/06/2013 at 00:37

€250 sounds a bit steep.

I've given up to £ 100 at most but frankly I make an eye watering amount of money and I'd expect more like £ 50.

17/06/2013 at 08:24

A "flat rate" - where do these stupid bloody ideas come from? 

Surely the only two factors are how close you are to the couple and how much you can afford to give?

seren nos    pirate
17/06/2013 at 08:26

I was thinking more like £50 unless it was for a favourite member and I felt i could afford more.....

there again i have never given my children more than a £20 present for their birthdays until they were 17 .........whilst others seem to have ipads etc for a routine birthday

17/06/2013 at 11:19

I tend to work on £50 for a whole day wedding and £25 for evening only invites but it has been more for a very good friend (and less for somebody I hardly knew, could not work out why I was invited unless it was for donation purposes).  But it entirely depends on how much you can afford.  I am sure the couple would hate to think that you're giving more than you can afford.

17/06/2013 at 11:49

He's asked for cash? That seems a bit of a cheek. Give him 50p and tell him to be satisfied.

17/06/2013 at 11:53

I wouldn't give £250. If I was loaded and £250 was pocket change then I might but I'm not. 

I think £50 is reasonable for someone I liked a lot though £10 would fit my budget better. Don't like giving money, far prefer to give a gift.

I had some wonderful presents at my wedding, starting from 2 tubes of orange smarties . It's not the value of the gift it's the thought that went into it.

17/06/2013 at 11:56

I've quite often gone to weddings where the couple has asked for cash, and to be honest, I'd rather give cash than just clinically pick something off a wedding gift list*.

Like TP, my rule of thumb would be about £50 for an all-day invite and £20 - £25 for an evening do. Perhaps a bit more for a close relative, but my sister has yet to get herself married!

Edited to clarify* - Actually, I'd much prefer to give a gift, but most people now give out a wedding list that's so specific you don't actually need to put any thought into it... and it sems a bit frowned upon to use your imagination and go off-list.


Edited: 17/06/2013 at 12:06
17/06/2013 at 12:04

I never give cash, vouchers yes or I have done a couple of payments to Trailfinders for honeymoons.  asking for cash I think is far too clinical but maybe thatis just me.

i am just doing a note to go in with my wedding invites saying no gifts as we do not need anything and quite a few are travelling a fair distance. Now if somebody put that in an invite I abide by it but I have already ahd a couple of people say they will be giving a gift and what do we want .... 

17/06/2013 at 12:07

@Tickled Pink - vouchers are no better than cash.  To buy vouchers you take money (that you can spend anywhere) and exchange it for money of the same value that you can spend in limited stores.  Vouchers are, on the whole, pointless.

17/06/2013 at 12:26

I think giving cash seems too clinical, too TP.  I would be uncomfortable with giving cash.  I think I'd just buy them a gift!

I certainly wouldn't ask people to give money if I ever get married again!

Booo    pirate
17/06/2013 at 12:38

I wouldn't give cash .... the whole idea of the 'wedding gift' is to help the new couple kit out their new love-nest. Its not a part of the actual wedding itself so if they already have their new home kitted out, then why should you feel'honour bound' to stump up anything, especially cold cash ... all seems just a little too cynical to me.

seren nos    pirate
17/06/2013 at 15:38

That said.....I have a favourite niece getting married this year.........she and her partner already have kids.......they hadn't done a wedding list yet.......but I know they do not have lots of money so I have already given her a cash pressie now so that if she wants she can spend it on nice outfits for the kids or towards her own dress etc.........seemed more sense that buying them another toaster.......

17/06/2013 at 15:51

The idea of a cash gift being somehow unseemly is quite a Western idea isn't it?

In Indian and other Asian cultures, money is considered the most thoughtful and considerate gift to give.


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