Well there are good lies and bad lies....

19 messages
10/10/2012 at 14:41

Then the kids say "I wasn't lying, I was just pretending..."

I've never understood the idea of telling kids that the presents come from Father Christmas.  I guess it's a tradition, but why??

 

10/10/2012 at 14:46

Explain the benefits of truth and that should remain with them always.

They will learn as they mature that the truth is not always appropriate and will find their own way to a "white lie" that keeps everybody comfortable.

If they are well adjusted ,they may also learn how bad it makes them feel to lie outright and how painful the consequences can be for others'.

10/10/2012 at 15:50

KK whats going on with you! You are getting involved in some heavy stuff on here recently all to do with Philosophical thoughts.

10/10/2012 at 16:13

Do you have kids, Wilkie? My kids love the whole father christmas thing. It's a completely inoffensive 'lie', and they soon get old enough to find the holes in the explanations.

10/10/2012 at 16:26

I knew father Christmas was cobblers as soon as I was aware of anything. As for telling kids the truth, why not? When I was six years old on holiday at my grandparents farm, my parents one day just hopped into a car and buggered off without a word. And never came back. Grandparents refused to speak. So, me, my brother and sister had been deserted. After a week the grapefruit that I'd appeared to have swallowed went away. Three weeks later the parents came back. Apparently my mother was going to have an operation that she might not survive and they didn't want to upset us in case she died. Aren't you pleased to see us? irelevant I thought, you may have well have died, we know we can survive without you. Idiots. Its the 'not knowing that' hurt.

Edited: 10/10/2012 at 16:28
10/10/2012 at 16:35
Peter Collins wrote (see)

Do you have kids, Wilkie? My kids love the whole father christmas thing. It's a completely inoffensive 'lie', and they soon get old enough to find the holes in the explanations.

Wouldn't your kids also love the idea that mummy and daddy are going to bring presents?

Christmas doesn't stop being special to kids when they learn the truth, does it?

I just don't get the point of making something up, then having to admit that it wasn't true at some point, perhaps causing distress in the process.

10/10/2012 at 16:44

I used to think like that - then I had kids....

 

I don't do tooth fairy or anything else but found that despite trying, I couldn't avoid the santa thing. I also didn't need to even say anything - society, school, friends, grannies - they do it for you.

Eldest son came to me one day and said 'it's you and dad isn't it' , I just asked him how and when did he know. He said it was kind of obvious for a while but that he enjoyed the illusion while it lasted.

It the idea of 'magic' that they like - not necessarily anything to do wth father christmas.

10/10/2012 at 16:48

Ah but Wilkie, Father Christmas stops after a few years, whereas the expense of being a parent goes on longer - so Father Christmas is really the cheaper option!!!!!

There is something magical about seeing a childs face on Christmas Morning as he peers into the stocking left empty the night before -

Edited: 10/10/2012 at 16:49
10/10/2012 at 16:52
Grendel3 wrote (see)

There is something magical about seeing a childs face on Christmas Morning as he peers into the stocking left empty the night before -

But isn't that still the case even after they know that it's Dad who puts the presents there?  I don't remember Christmas being a disappointment just because I knew there was no Father Christmas.

10/10/2012 at 16:54

Blimey, Wilkie, there really are worse things in the world to worry about. I haven't heard about these hordes of kids whose whole lives are traumatised by their wicked parents lying to them about Father Christmas.

10/10/2012 at 17:53

See, the children find their own way to the "white lie" about Santa or the Tooth Fairy without feeling they have been told lies or tricked.

Is it not incredible how some very young children work it all out by themselves?

10/10/2012 at 19:22

I'm not losing any sleep over it, I just wonder how it arose, and why.  Seems bizarre to teach children to tell the truth and lie to them, as KK said when she started this thread

 

LIVERBIRD    pirate
10/10/2012 at 19:26
TheVicar wrote (see)

KK whats going on with you! You are getting involved in some heavy stuff on here recently all to do with Philosophical thoughts.

Don't worry, Rev! We'll pray for her troubled soul

There's a magic to Santa for little kids. I don't think you CAN get it if you haven't been in the position of seeing your little one light up at the thought of Santa coming. Mine are too old now but still expect a quid if one of their teeth falls out. Youngest has just had her first tooth NOT go under the pillow and I was a bit sad.

Our vicar once got a big bee in his bonnet about santa and sent his eight year old daughter into school to tell her friends that Santa didn't exist and it was all about Jesus. I would have been BLAZING if I'd have been one of the parents. There is enough room in my house for Jesus AND Santa at Christmas.

10/10/2012 at 19:38

I remember Christmas Santa magic as a kid. Even after I'd figured it out I continued to play along with my parents - putting out a glass of milk for Santa (my dad didn't drink) and some carrots for the reindeer etc - partly for my little sister and partly cause I just loved it all so much.

Even as a 6 year old I think I could figure out for myself the difference between pretending that Santa existed and big fat lies. I imagine most other kids are the same.

LIVERBIRD    pirate
10/10/2012 at 19:49

I asked for Santa's autograph. Unfortunately Santa wrote a lot like my dad.

I have a video of eldest Miss LB meeting "Santa" (still my dad who must have been anorexic Santa at 9 stone) . She was UTTERLY convinced it was Santa and didn't recognise Grandad at all. She showed him her Barbie, and Woody and Jessie from Toy Story 2 and was completely captivated. This short video makes the "lie" worthwhile to me. She was only two. She'll be 14 this year. Nowadays she just says "can't I just ask everyone for money"?

10/10/2012 at 20:55

With regards to Father Christmas and the tooth fairy, as a law student I wouldn't call it  telling lies. It's merely taking the purposive approach to statutory interpretation. 

10/10/2012 at 21:16
What do you mean Santa isn't real ? You could have broken that to me more gently
10/10/2012 at 21:25
carterusm wrote (see)
What do you mean Santa isn't real ? You could have broken that to me more gently

It's ok. I'll send the Easter bunny around to comfort you.

10/10/2012 at 23:00
Ohh easter bunny on toast maybe?

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