What will you change about yourself in 2011?

41 to 44 of 44 messages
29/12/2010 at 22:53
I intend to stop swearing and stop biting my nails.
29/12/2010 at 23:03

In Jan I may book into pre-hab to avoid the drug addiction my publicist will be announcing around June.

I shall certainly be having at least one surrogate child at some stage and may buy a couple of kids from a suitably impoverished country.

Throughout the year i will be having split/no-split/tearful reconciliation announcements concerning me and Mrs B in Heat and Closer on a weekly basis.

 In August my cellulite will be splashed across the front page of the tabloids as I frolic on a pedalo off Bournemouth beach.

September is all booked out for my seedy motel sex session which will be filmed and leaked onto the internet to make the Chistmas rush.

October will be an "is JB gay?" splash after i spontaneously snog Jon Snow at the Parliamentarian of the Year awards.

November I will invite Hello! to a photo-shoot of  "My Best Christmas Ever" at my country pile.

And in December I will be rushed into Warwick A & E for a hushed up "foreign object removal" procedure.

So, same old same old really.

30/12/2010 at 00:26
 JB - you have piles??
30/12/2010 at 00:36
See next week's Heat for the real truth.

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