Why did a bald man draw rabbits on his head?
Because from the distance they looked like hares.
Where does Michael Palin drive his racecar?
Around a palindrome.
what do want?
a cure for Tourettes
when do we want it??
A bloke walks into a drum kit.
Phil - I preferred your 'leak' joke on the other thread, most amusing !
I'd better warn you, my dad's gone out and bought the luxury Christmas crackers this year. I'll be stocking up. (Pun intended.)
Last night I reached for my liquid viagra and accidentally swigged from a bottle of Tippex. I woke up this morning with a huge correction.
I fancied a pizza last night. So I walked into Dominos. But as I went through the door I tripped and knocked over a bloke, who knocked over the bloke next to him, who knocked over the bloke next to him ... who knocked over the bloke next to him ...
my girlfriend's a redhead. no hair, just a red head.
Why are Communists so good at spotting approaching wet weather?
Because Rudolph the Red knows rain dear.
I think that you will find it is "To Whom..."
A friend of mine can't go past a sweetshop without going in and buying a packet of Polo mints. It's become a serious problem to him.
He went to see a psychiatrist about it.
The shrink said he's suffering from Buy Polo Disorder.
(I made that one up.)
So I was playing Darts and I said to my friend "closest to the Bull" then I went "Baaah" and he went "Moo" .. I said you're closest.
I went buy some Camoflague Trousers the other day.. I couldn't find any.
I picked up the phone and said "who's speaking please?" and a voice said "you are".
Rickster wrote (see)
Knock knock. Who's there? Too. Too who? I think that you will find it is "To Whom..."
Why did the bald man go to the funeral?
toupée his respects.
My brother reckons he made that one up.
so I wanted to get my pet snail into running.
i took his shell off to make him more aerodynamic, but he just became sluggish.
How do you describe a hungry horse in four letters?
(OH's favourite joke - she must have told me a thousand times!)
Peter, that one takes the award.
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