What's the worst joke that you've ever heard?

101 to 120 of 150 messages
10/01/2013 at 18:46

What do you call a German hairdresser?

Herr Cut.

10/01/2013 at 21:40
Barkles wrote (see)

Peter, that one takes the award.

She still laughs every time she tells me - I've had 23 years of it!!

10/01/2013 at 22:05
Rickster wrote (see)

What do you call a German hairdresser?

Herr Cut.

Heh. When I was a squaddie in Germany many moons ago we had a barber ... who was of course known to all as Herr Cuts.

11/01/2013 at 11:10

The local police caught two lads last night. One had been drinking battery acid and the other had been eating fireworks.

They charged the first one and let the second one off.

gingerfurball    pirate
11/01/2013 at 11:56

What do you call an Irishman sitting out in the garden?

Paddy O Furniture 

11/01/2013 at 15:34

My wife told me I was no longer romantic, so I booked a table for the two of us on Valentine's Night.  Problem is she's rubbish at snooker...

13/01/2013 at 17:18

The major supermarkets are reporting a drop in sales of hummus, taramosalata and guacamole.

It's a triple-dip recession.

13/01/2013 at 17:33

Q: What's the connection between Kate Middleton and the Taleban??

A: They'd both like to blow down Prince William's chopper.

13/01/2013 at 17:38

What do you do if a pig gets run over?

Call a hambulance.

13/01/2013 at 18:02

What do you call a cheese that doesn't belong to you?


nacho cheese

16/01/2013 at 20:15

Bloke walks into a pub and asks for a pint of anything except Stella.
Barman asks, "What's wrong with Stella?"
Bloke says, "I had 12 pints of Stella last night and when I came round I was f**king skint."
Barman says, "12 pints of anything costs about the same."
Bloke replies, "Skint's my dog."

16/01/2013 at 21:32

Why did the baker have brown hands?

Because he kneaded a poo.

17/01/2013 at 13:07

A Tortoise got mugged by a gang of Snails, the Police asked what happened. He said "it's hard to remember, it all happened so fast".

26/01/2013 at 12:08

Two men have been arrested for clearing the snow outside a school. Police have named them as Gary Gritter & Jimmy Shovel.

26/01/2013 at 12:13

Two snowmen in a field. One of them says to the other one "Can you smell carrots?"

26/01/2013 at 12:13

I slipped over in the snow. Don't laugh, it's snow joke!

26/01/2013 at 21:50


27/01/2013 at 09:38

A man was attacked with some sodium chloride and a Duracel. His attacker was found guilty of assault and battery.

27/01/2013 at 17:13

An Englishman, an Irishman, a Scotsman, a horse, a midget, a wman, a trotoise and a nun walk in to a bar.

The barman says "What is this, some kind of joke?"

30/01/2013 at 14:02

john denver was never any good at completing forms.

i filled up his census.

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