What's the worst joke that you've ever heard?

121 to 140 of 150 messages
UFO
30/01/2013 at 19:19

I was speaking to this Geordie girl in a bar the other day.
I said "Is it alright if I call you pet?"
"Why? 'Cos that's a Geordie word?", she said.
"No" I replied, "because you're a f***ing dog!"

UFO
30/01/2013 at 21:23

i tried to save a hippy from drowning but he was too far out

gingerfurball    pirate
31/01/2013 at 09:34

Why do Mummys not go on holiday - they worry that they would get too relaxed and unwind.

31/01/2013 at 10:36

Whats the difference between a snowman and a snow woman?

 

 

 

SNOWBALLS

31/01/2013 at 15:13
Nick Windsor 4 wrote (see)

Why do brides wear white

To fit in with the other Kitchen appliances

You're a brave man telling that joke on here, considering that there's a lot of ladies on here who can run fast. 

05/02/2013 at 21:34

just seen this on twitter:

Why shouldn't you buy Ukrainian underpants? Because Chernobyl fallout.

06/02/2013 at 12:29

Peters wife might like this one

What's Vietnamese for small horse?

Ti Ni Po Ni

06/02/2013 at 15:08

Guy overtakes a car on the motorway, and his blonde wife says to him 'I think the family in that car must be Welsh'

'Why's that?' says the bloke.

'Well the little boy in the back wrote 'STIT ROUY SU WOHS' on the window'.

06/02/2013 at 15:17

What's orange and sounds like a parrot ?

 

A carrot !

06/02/2013 at 15:42

My mate opened up a zoo with just one dog

 

 

It was a shitzu

06/02/2013 at 16:39

For instance Nandos has a sign that says 'Man eating chicken' .... by excluding the article it leaves room for doubt as to whether its 'a man eating chicken' or a 'chicken that eats man'.

No, it's about the hyphen. Cf man-eating chicken and man eating chicken.

And you call yourself a pedant? Pah!

06/02/2013 at 17:25

No, "man eating chicken " can only mean one thing regardless of any article in front. If you want to have a chicken that can eat man you must hyphenate to say "man-eating chicken".

You've been out-pedanted ... (rasp!)

06/02/2013 at 21:35
David Falconer 3 wrote (see)
PC91 wrote (see)

What's orange and sounds like a parrot ?

A carrot !

Technically the joke doesnt really work because you are including an article the 'a' in front of parrot .

That's what makes the joke funny, as far as I'm concerned.

06/02/2013 at 21:50

https://fbcdn-sphotos-d-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/600887_451246588278564_264033813_n.jpg

 

06/02/2013 at 22:24

Leicester City Council are clamping down on people using public places as toilets after someone did a Richard III in a carpark.

06/02/2013 at 22:32
AliBear30 wrote (see)

Peters wife might like this one

What's Vietnamese for small horse?

Ti Ni Po Ni

Thanks for that - she did laugh so now I have two daft jokes to be tortured with! She did tut though at being called "wife" - would you marry someone with her sense of humour??!!!!

06/02/2013 at 23:47

Why is going down on a woman like being in the Mafia?

One slip of the tongue and you are in the shit.

08/02/2013 at 09:14

Findus Pies. All part of a stable diet.

13/03/2013 at 19:42

Ghandi was a great spiritual leader, frail from fasting, with toughened feet from walking barefoot, and with bad breath due to a vegetarian diet. He was a super calloused fragile mystic plagued with halitosis

gingerfurball    pirate
13/03/2013 at 20:24
I nearly peed my pants at the last one!
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