What's the worst joke that you've ever heard?

121 to 140 of 158 messages
UFO
30/01/2013 at 19:19

I was speaking to this Geordie girl in a bar the other day.
I said "Is it alright if I call you pet?"
"Why? 'Cos that's a Geordie word?", she said.
"No" I replied, "because you're a f***ing dog!"

UFO
30/01/2013 at 21:23

i tried to save a hippy from drowning but he was too far out

gingerfurball    pirate
31/01/2013 at 09:34

Why do Mummys not go on holiday - they worry that they would get too relaxed and unwind.

31/01/2013 at 09:43

Why do brides wear white

To fit in with the other Kitchen appliances

31/01/2013 at 09:58

Whats black and slides down Nelsons column?

Winnie Mandela.

 

31/01/2013 at 10:36

Whats the difference between a snowman and a snow woman?

 

 

 

SNOWBALLS

31/01/2013 at 15:13
Nick Windsor 4 wrote (see)

Why do brides wear white

To fit in with the other Kitchen appliances

You're a brave man telling that joke on here, considering that there's a lot of ladies on here who can run fast. 

31/01/2013 at 16:11

I'm sure there are worse than that one, anybody??

31/01/2013 at 16:12

why do women have smaller feet than men,

To get closer to the sink?

05/02/2013 at 21:34

just seen this on twitter:

Why shouldn't you buy Ukrainian underpants? Because Chernobyl fallout.

06/02/2013 at 12:29

Peters wife might like this one

What's Vietnamese for small horse?

Ti Ni Po Ni

06/02/2013 at 12:35

There are 10 types of people in the world. Those that understand binary, and those that don't.

 

06/02/2013 at 15:08

Guy overtakes a car on the motorway, and his blonde wife says to him 'I think the family in that car must be Welsh'

'Why's that?' says the bloke.

'Well the little boy in the back wrote 'STIT ROUY SU WOHS' on the window'.

06/02/2013 at 15:17

What's orange and sounds like a parrot ?

 

A carrot !

06/02/2013 at 15:26
PC91 wrote (see)

What's orange and sounds like a parrot ?

 

A carrot !

Technically the joke doesnt really work because you are including an article the 'a' in front of parrot ....... the problem is if you didnt include the article then the sentence would just look wrong. A case of forcing a joke with the English language where there isnt one Im afraid

For instance Nandos has a sign that says 'Man eating chicken' .... by excluding the article it leaves room for doubt as to whether its 'a man eating chicken' or a 'chicken that eats man'.

God Im pedantic lol.

06/02/2013 at 15:42

My mate opened up a zoo with just one dog

 

 

It was a shitzu

06/02/2013 at 16:39

For instance Nandos has a sign that says 'Man eating chicken' .... by excluding the article it leaves room for doubt as to whether its 'a man eating chicken' or a 'chicken that eats man'.

No, it's about the hyphen. Cf man-eating chicken and man eating chicken.

And you call yourself a pedant? Pah!

06/02/2013 at 16:48
Muttley wrote (see)

For instance Nandos has a sign that says 'Man eating chicken' .... by excluding the article it leaves room for doubt as to whether its 'a man eating chicken' or a 'chicken that eats man'.

No, it's about the hyphen. Cf man-eating chicken and man eating chicken.

And you call yourself a pedant? Pah!

It can be either about the hyphen or the article ....... so we both win

If you place an 'a' in front, you don't need a hyphen at all to understand who is eating what.

06/02/2013 at 17:25

No, "man eating chicken " can only mean one thing regardless of any article in front. If you want to have a chicken that can eat man you must hyphenate to say "man-eating chicken".

You've been out-pedanted ... (rasp!)

06/02/2013 at 21:35
David Falconer 3 wrote (see)
PC91 wrote (see)

What's orange and sounds like a parrot ?

A carrot !

Technically the joke doesnt really work because you are including an article the 'a' in front of parrot .

That's what makes the joke funny, as far as I'm concerned.

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