When a school says it hasn't got a bullying problem.

Just had a conversation about this today in the 3D world. Your thoughts, experiences from your own school days and that of your kids?

Hasn't got a problem, usualy means that they turn a blind eye to it.

Rickster wrote (see)

Hasn't got a problem, usualy means that they turn a blind eye to it.

Definitely agree. I went to a secondary school where violence was a regular part of bullying (girls were shoved down stairs, their hair was set alight etc) but the teachers ignored it or refused to acknowledge it because they were scared of the pupils.

It only changed when a new headmaster came in and implemented strict bullying procedures and consequences. Within 6 months all of the bullies had either stopped or left the school.

bullying happens at all schools, what is important is that a school has a clear policy and deals with any episodes of bullying quickly. Bulllying even happens at the nicest leafy primaries - both my kids have been victims at different times from different kids.

Bullying is unfortunately part of growing up and a right of passage, and we all know the cure. How we deal with it when it inevitably happens will decide how we go on to live our lives, as with so many things.

Crimson wrote (see)

Through my work have been in number of schools and there are some where there is a culture that allows bullies to prosper.

There are some adult environments the same could be said of as well.

EKGO wrote (see)

Bullying is unfortunately part of growing up and a right of passage, and we all know the cure. How we deal with it when it inevitably happens will decide how we go on to live our lives, as with so many things.

But this is the thing, what EXACTLY is bullying? I don't think that disagreements are bullying, they're a natural part of life. Maybe bullying is taking extended negative action against someone with the intent to hurt them physically or psychologically?

I also think that a lot of people stereotype bullying, but there is a lot of stuff that goes under the radar, the more passive aggressive prolonged stuff. I think it's a minefield and quite often not clear cut. So hard for schools to deal with too.

EKGO wrote (see)

Bullying is unfortunately part of growing up and a right of passage, and we all know the cure. How we deal with it when it inevitably happens will decide how we go on to live our lives, as with so many things.

To an extent. Teenagers being shits to each other is a normal part of growing up. A prolonged psychological campaign against one person is entirely different. It shouldn't be seen as a right of passage or a test of character.

I mean this less aggressively than it sounds, but I think your attitude is exactly what leads some schools to claim they don't have a bullying problem.

EKGO wrote (see)

Bullying is unfortunately part of growing up and a right of passage, and we all know the cure. How we deal with it when it inevitably happens will decide how we go on to live our lives, as with so many things.

Ahh right, so you were the school bully then.

Not have a bullying problem is different to a school saying it hasn't got any bullying in the school...............

not having a bullying problem could mean they are strict and fair and have the policies that have reduced this  so much that the children all know what is and is not acceptable and they know what to do if there is a problem so that it is dealt with..........

no bullying occurs in my school would imply that the school is talking bullshit.........

Weeble. wrote (see)

I mean this less aggressively than it sounds, but I think your attitude is exactly what leads some schools to claim they don't have a bullying problem.

Weeble - your reading of my post is precisely the wrong reading,

I believe every school has a bullying problem and every kid will at some point experience this, it is prolonged by Head teachers claiming they have no problem, if Children do not have understanding and supportive Parents when they do deal with the issue they could go on to do this to someone else, and the problem continues. 

I've been there and was bullied at the time I went from Junior to Senior schools (Red Head) luckily I had parents who showed me how to deal with it and supported me when I did so. I've since addressed more bullies in the workplace than I can care to mention, so obviously some learn the lesson later in life than others, and the lessons I learned worked very well for me and my family. 

seren nos wrote (se

no bullying occurs in my school would imply that the school is talking bullshit.........

Seren Nos, totally agree, burying the head in the sand (excuse the pun) doesn't work with any issue, particularly not this one

Rickster wrote (see)

Ahh right, so you were the school bully then.

Rickster wrote (see)

Ahh right, so you were the school bully then.

I'll treat that with the contempt it deserves

Some school children are mean and unsocial, they pick on others physically or emotionally, so bullying happens in all schools and as far as I'm concerned that's an unfortunate fact of life.

However, there's a difference between saying 'we have no bullying' - which I wouldn't believe - than saying 'we don't have a bullying problem' - which means that it's not out of control.

Singleton wrote (see)

However, there's a difference between saying 'we have no bullying' - which I wouldn't believe - than saying 'we don't have a bullying problem' - which means that it's not out of control.

and saying "we don't have a problem with bullying" which would be a rather worrying statement!