When does the ring come off?

Hmm... my last message wasnt posted.

@Seren - why do you choose not to wear it every day? I get your point that marriage is your heart but what made you not want to wear your ring(s) on a daily basis?

I think you're right - once you've made the decision that the marriage is over - then there's no going back... i just find it interesting how different people come to that decision - what is the 'no go back' points

@Dave - did you do that as a 'present' for your daughter? or what was the reason behind it?

My aunt gave her daughter her wedding ring... but said 'gold's so expensive nowadays - you might as well try and to get some good money for it...'

seren nos wrote (see)

I suppose they are always different reasons..........I got married as a commitment to my hubby........not to show anyone else my commitment..........

It's not letting me answer the quote outside the box My point is still, why marry then, can't you show that commitment without jumping through the 'hoops'? If you are committed, why feel the need to do it publicly? What I'm saying is that the actual marriage in front of people is the public announce it to the world bit and not really the rings. I'm being Devil's advocate but my argument is that if you do it just for him, why be public at all?

seren nos wrote (see)

Had to stop wearing them 12 years ago when I had to restrain my son daily.....jewellery was a danger to him and me...got used to not wearing it....

How is a wedding ring dangerous?

seren nos wrote (see)

In a stuggle a wedding ring can easily catch on things or catch on a child's skin

Not really, not a flat ring. But yes a very small chance if it's too big.

Catch on things that is, not a child's skin.

And yes, if a ring catches on something, that's your finger gone...

I hope never to be in a position to answer the question...

I could take the rings off, but I'd still be left looking married with a distinct ring mark on that finger. not just a tan line, it's a distinct dint all the way round. Wonder how long that would take to vanish.

seren nos wrote (see)

Kk...your experience in these matters must be different to mine

Yes, yes of course it must...

The first wedding ring with the ex Mr C got flushed down a toilet!

I sold the wedding ring from the short lived error of judgement known as the ex Mr TP, got a nice little contribution to a weekend away.  I still have the engagement ring as that's very pretty.  Keep meaning to get it made into something I can wear.

Stopped wearing the wedding ring the day he moved out.  We both knew there was no going back.

I don't think you need to wear a piece of jewellery to signify your commitment to someone, I know plenty of happily married couples who don't wear wedding rings every day, or at all. There are lots of reasons to get married, but I think "doing it to show other people" would be so far down my list of reasons that it is a complete non-issue.

That said, I wouldn't wear a wedding/engagement ring for one second beyond the time that the relationship was over; and thinking about how slowly legal proceedings can move, I definitely wouldn't wait until I had a piece of paper confirming what I already knew. Might as well put on my wedding dress and start calling myself Miss Haversham

I didn't want an engagement ring.  I don't like the way that society encourages women to declare their marital status all the time but men don't have to - i.e. women become Mrs and there are many men who don't wear an engagement ring.  But Hubby was adamant that I had one so I got him one too.  We both had wedding rings as well.

I used to wear them all the time until I started working in a lab.  Rings are dangerous when you are playing with chemicals that can either damange them or get underneath and damage your skin.  To start with I used to take them off when I got to work and out them back on when I left.

Then I took up running.  When I run my fingers swell up and the rings got uncomfortably tight so I had to take them off before running.

Then I started OW swimming, which makes your fingers shrink and then you risk losing the rings in the water.

In the end I found myself wearing them for so little time that it seemed pointless, and I was always losing them as I couldn't rememebr which bag/drawer I had left them in.  So I stopped wearing them except on special occassions.

As for whether I would still wear them now that I am separated... well, I probably would as I don't hate my Hubby and like Seren I don't place any marital value on the rings.  They are nice pieces of jewelery that my Hubby bought me for a special occassion and therefore just as valuable or worthless as the things he bought me for Christmas, birthdays and aniversaries.  If I threw out all the things he bought me I wouldn't have much left as I'm not a materialistic person and don't tend to buy much for myself.

I would probably stop wearing the wedding ring when I met someone else, but I always wore my engagement ring on the wrong hand and will probably continue to do so occassioanlly.