When does the ring come off?

Time? Event?

1 to 20 of 38 messages
15/07/2012 at 12:56

I saw this interesting article (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-18695889) about when you should take the ring off after a divorce and it made me wonder - what were the reasons for why you took it off?

My aunt took it off after each divorce was finalised but a friend of mine threw it at him when she found him cheating... so I wanted to ask: If you're divorced - when did you take your wedding ring off? Or did you keep it on?

kittenkat    pirate
15/07/2012 at 13:00

I would take it off when I thought in my heart the marriage was over, hopefully I'll never have to find out!

15/07/2012 at 13:00

surely you'd take it off the second the relationship is over...not just wait until the divorce is sealed, as that could be months!

kittenkat    pirate
15/07/2012 at 13:08
Stevie G . wrote (see)

surely you'd take it off the second the relationship is over...not just wait until the divorce is sealed, as that could be months!

It's not always obvious when the relationship is over.

15/07/2012 at 14:14

I took mine off when I finally realized it was over and I had to file for divorce. I certainly didn't wait for all the legalities to be finalized. The annoying this is that I wanted the satisfaction of having the ring valued for resale (it was made of Siberian gold) or dropping it down a drain if it wasn't worth much. But the ex nicked it.

15/07/2012 at 14:33

@Stevie G - I guess it's the final 'end'. Up until that point there's always the possibility of reconciliation or that's the way she looked at it.

@Muttley - she nicked it? couldnt you charge her with theft?

I hope that I never have to come to that point - but i'd find it very difficult to find a point to take it - and knowing me - it'd be something spontaneous (and normally done in anger).

15/07/2012 at 14:44
Emmy_bug wrote (see)

@Muttley - she nicked it? couldnt you charge her with theft?

Nah, couldn't be bothered. It was over 10 years ago now anyway, and I was just glad to be rid. Had much bigger things to worry about (like, where do I live now?).

Dave The Ex- Spartan    pirate
15/07/2012 at 14:47
Depends when you accept it's over. I know someone who is till wearing his ring 10 years after she left and 6 years after she married someon else !
15/07/2012 at 14:52

Yeah, I can imagine. I've seen a lot of people on the website saying that they were more attached to their engagement ring than their wedding ring and for me it's the opposite.

I wear my wedding ring continually but because of running/gardening - i'll take off my engagement ring and it'll sometimes stay off for days.

15/07/2012 at 14:54

@Dave - is your friend still wearing it because he doesnt believe it's over? Or just because he likes wearing a ring?

Dave The Ex- Spartan    pirate
15/07/2012 at 15:08
He's not my friend. I said someone I know. He wears it cos he claims he's still married
15/07/2012 at 16:13

I apologise for presuming that he was a friend So it was more of a mental barrier than a physical one?

Dave The Ex- Spartan    pirate
15/07/2012 at 16:41
He is just someone I happen to know. Noting more than that, but it amuses several of us that he still wears his wedding ring
kittenkat    pirate
15/07/2012 at 17:26
Emmy_bug wrote (see)

Yeah, I can imagine. I've seen a lot of people on the website saying that they were more attached to their engagement ring than their wedding ring and for me it's the opposite.

I wear my wedding ring continually but because of running/gardening - i'll take off my engagement ring and it'll sometimes stay off for days.

I'm very attached to both, but then jewellery has always been the one material thing that can get sentimental for me. Cars don't, other stuff doesn't but jewellery is personal and signifies time, people and places.

Darren designed my engagement ring himself so it actually is unique in every way, my wedding ring was bough in a shop but we had to look long and hard before we found one that would compliment the engagement ring.

D has a wedding ring too, his choice and as he was married for 9 years before he met me he wanted something different, and it is different.

kittenkat    pirate
15/07/2012 at 17:27
Dave The Ex- Spartan wrote (see)
He's not my friend. I said someone I know. He wears it cos he claims he's still married

Wow, there's denial and there's denial!

Dave The Ex- Spartan    pirate
15/07/2012 at 17:30
What ever
kittenkat    pirate
15/07/2012 at 17:33

Whatever

seren nos    pirate
15/07/2012 at 17:45

I hardly ever wear my wedding ring or engagement ring.........2 or 3 times a year when i glam up and put jewellry on...........its just a piece of jewellry....a marriage is what you have in your heart.....not in aq piece of metal.............

kittenkat    pirate
15/07/2012 at 17:58
seren nos wrote (see)

I hardly ever wear my wedding ring or engagement ring.........2 or 3 times a year when i glam up and put jewellry on...........its just a piece of jewellry....a marriage is what you have in your heart.....not in aq piece of metal.............

Yes but you could use that argument for not actually getting married, who needs a piece of paper to confirm commitment?

I think the rings are symbolic because it shows to everyone else that you have a commitment, however I totally get that some people don't want rings. I did because it took me so many relationships to actually commit.

Edited: 15/07/2012 at 17:59
seren nos    pirate
15/07/2012 at 18:16

I suppose they are always different reasons..........I got married as a commitment to my hubby........not to show anyone else my commitment............i suppose everyone gets married for different reasons........

 

and in response to the opening question.......in my first marriage i took the ring off the moment I walked out on him and the relationship........i packed a bag .told him i was leaving and to me I had made my decision...........it took a long time to get to that decision and i didn't leave in a whim or an arguement but because i knew the marriage could not work........so when i left the house the ring came off and didn't go back on again.....that was when the marriage ended.not when a piece of paper came through with the divorce

 

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