Where do you draw the line in controversial relationships?

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06/03/2012 at 16:17
I don't think my thoughts have changed about what is acceptable in society, but my idea of what is acceptable to me is certainly different.  I think that is partly due to what I wanted from life at the time.  As a teenager I was probably more interested in finding someone who could get me away from living with my parents.  In my 20's it was someone to settle down with.  Now I am more interested in what would make me happy than who would fit a role.
06/03/2012 at 16:23
The ONLY time in three decades of working that I've ever seen a work relationship become a problem was when the editor of a magazine I worked for started seeing one of the junior reporters. Now, not being very sensitive on such issues, I didn't even notice until a few months after - when they told me! The real problem lay in the fact that the editor was expected to thrash out general policies for the mag with everyone, particularly with the deputy editor. Of course, people being as they are, she was going home and potentially chewing the cud with her new love interest - this thought, for that was all it was so far as the rest of us knew, did not sit well with the deputy and caused some stir. I'm not sure where this takes us, but I feel that in this instance it was made known, if only after a little bit of a delay, and we ought to treat adults as adults and assume they would not let something like this affect their work. I know from experience (not my own direct experience!) that someone will always know about people coupling up, so I don't think any contractual policies are really necessary. Just my view.
Lee the Pea    pirate
06/03/2012 at 16:36

In the last place I worked someone was shagging the boss (who was married), and funnily enough they clambered up the ladder a lot quicker than others at the same level, and one of those 'others' was effectively sacked  when they queried why they weren't getting promotions etc etc. It was the world's worst kept secret, everyone knew they were at it.  I hate that kind of thing, makes my blood boil. 

Otherwise, I can't see work relationships are a problem so long as it doesn't engender favouritism etc etc. 

Teacher /pupil is wrong; teacher should know better.  I'd be appalled if a teacher was having a relationship with my kid, even is he/she was 16.

Other age difference issues don't bother me.  I always went for guys that were a bit older, but as I get older i'd prefer to be with someone my own age, or thereabouts. 

Edited: 06/03/2012 at 16:37
seren nos    pirate
06/03/2012 at 16:58
a married couple who i worked with years ago were a nightmare when they were having an arguement........they were both lovely but he was the boss and when they disagreed she was still the wife not the staff member.......

wasn't helped when he gave his ex wife a summer job there and said it was one of the other bosses who did it........

so i think like most things it depends on the character.

and yes if you are in a position like teachers you are not allowed to have a relationship with a pupil even if they are over 16....
06/03/2012 at 18:04
Nam wrote (see)
Dave The Ex- Spartan wrote (see)
What if your job required to to have a CRB or higher ?

Isn't it then a legal requirement to declare any relationship ? or even with some clearences who lives in the same house ?

I have an enhanced CRB due to my job and it never asked about relationships or who you live with.

I think it's just what's on the PNC? 

I wasn't sure about CRB, I do know that for some jobs with a sensitive aspect you do need to declare things like that..

Wilkie, some 50 years olds are doing it given half a chance

08/03/2012 at 19:56

If you stopped relationships at my workplace, we'd lose 75% of the workforce.

I have  been through HMP security clearance and they didn't ask who I was seeing. You could a) lie or b) change that situation in a week so tbh it's pointless

Crash Hamster    pirate
12/03/2012 at 10:41

It seems Dick van Dyke (86) has just married; his bride is age 40. Bloimy, Muary Puppins!

This would be like me lining up the next Mrs Hamster by touring the incubators at the maternity ward...still, good luck to them both.

kittenkat    pirate
12/03/2012 at 10:53
Blimey, I'd have to live for 5 more years to reach that age gap!
12/03/2012 at 16:24

I would draw the line as soon as there is a power imbalance in the relationship, so while there is nothing wrong with a significant age gap per se I would be very suspicious of someone my age (late 20s) who wanted to go out with my 16 year old cousin. I think there is such a huge gap in experience and emotional maturity between those ages, it doesn't seem right to me.

Courtney Stodden (17) and Doug Hutchison (51) make my skin crawl, there seems to be something so wrong with that relationship, not least that her parents basically handed her over to him.

12/03/2012 at 16:28

I have worked at a few places that had the rule about no relationships in the same office/branch/department. I had a Saturday job at a high street bank when I was at college and you were not allowed to work in the same branch as your partner or a family member, the argument was that it would be easy to cover up any professional indiscretion.

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