Which parent are you closer to?

17 messages
kittenkat    pirate
26/09/2012 at 18:10

I lost my dad as a kid so I have no means of doing this from a level playing field. My Mum obviously.

I've never experienced having both and I wonder what it would be like to have a choice.

I know it's as unPC as a parent choosing a favourite child, but as an adult you must be closer to one surely?

kittenkat    pirate
26/09/2012 at 18:11

I do wonder as adults themselves; how our girls will see us as individuals.

26/09/2012 at 18:29

My mam. Well my dad died in 2004 when I was 27.

26/09/2012 at 18:55

My Dad died in 1987 when I was 28, and I don't think I've had a day when I didn't think about him or talk to him in my head

26/09/2012 at 18:58

On the other theme, when my grown up Daughters were in their teens they both accused me of favouring the other one at times, so I always told them that by my reckoning I must be getting it just about right.

LIVERBIRD    pirate
26/09/2012 at 19:00

I have an incredibly fractured relationship with both. They're nutcases.

26/09/2012 at 19:30
About the same . They live in the same house in Dorset.
26/09/2012 at 20:13
I speak every day to my dad and we're super close. My mum and I have a good relationship but she's always really busy so it's hard to get her on the phone.
LIVERBIRD    pirate
26/09/2012 at 20:15

Having just read that a much loved forumite has recently LOST his mum I wish I could do something to repair the relationship with mine but it seems hopeless. I know there comes a point when it will be too late and I'll wonder if I could've done more.

26/09/2012 at 21:13
LB, my Dad is quite ill although in good humour, and every time I leave I wonder if that's the last time I see him.
LIVERBIRD    pirate
26/09/2012 at 21:18

Womble, sorry to hear about your dad. I know what's that like. Mine keeps pulling through.

He spent last night in hospital after mum called 999 when he had a severe allergic reaction to medication. Mum didn't bother to tell me. The doctors said he was lucky to make it. Now she's complaining that I "wouldn't have come" and collected her from the hospital at 1am when they chucked her out. Mr LB works away and I have kids asleep in bed. What do you do? LEAVE them? It's a 15 mile trip.

26/09/2012 at 21:25

Got another abusive email from mine this evening.

I would love to have a close family.  I would settle for just one family member who made an effort to be nice.

My true family are my friends.  They have been there for me through thick and thin and I don't know what I would do without them.

26/09/2012 at 21:37
With my Dad, no news is good news. If my Mum rings, it means either he's just home from being in hospital again or he's in for longer than usual so she thinks she should let me know.
26/09/2012 at 22:51
LIVERBIRD wrote (see)

Having just read that a much loved forumite has recently LOST his mum I wish I could do something to repair the relationship with mine but it seems hopeless. I know there comes a point when it will be too late and I'll wonder if I could've done more.

LB I can guess it won't be easy, but make a call, don't be left wishing you had done when it's all too late to do anything, nothing is worth that

Nurse Ratched    pirate
27/09/2012 at 08:33

Between 2009/2010 I lost both my parents to cancer in the space of 9 months.  I was very close to both of them, and it still hurts every day.
However, I have friends who have very difficult relationships with their parents, and I can see why sometimes it's better (although incredibly difficult) to put some distance there. Being a parent isn't a "get out of jail free card" for shitty behaviour.

27/09/2012 at 08:36

Both my parents passed away some time ago now, but I was closer to my dad than my mum.

Thankfully there is/was no drama at all in my family, so no big fights or arguments. We must be the most chilled out northern European type family ever. Although it has left me unable to be bothered what so ever with drama queens of any sort.

Edited: 27/09/2012 at 08:40
gingerfurball    pirate
27/09/2012 at 09:28

My dad has been sick for over 20 years (...where to begin, pericarditis, myocarditis, leukaemia, para-protein anaemia and chronic fatigue) and mum has basically been his main carer for that time...this year she (out of the blue) had a hemorrhagic stroke which nearly finished her off - she's recovered remarkably but is still restricted in what she can do or she gets very tired and frustrated.

They've been amazing parents - my mum was restricted in showing love and affection for a long time but (we found out) she had had an abominably awful abusive childhood - my dad rescued her...this last couple of years she's doing her very best to be demonstrative in her love...I adore them both.

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