Are your family, friends, colleagues supportive of your running?

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15/08/2009 at 10:37

Although I try to talk to my family about my running and triathlon training, it tends to fall on deaf ears. My mum simply becomes anxious that I am 'doing too much'.  My sister says I am obsessed with exercise. They cannot see the difference between keeping to a training schedule and over-exercising. They cannot seem to understand that I do these activities because I enjoy them! 

And yet both my mum and sister are overweight - my sister in particular smokes, eats unhealthily, does no exercise whatsoever and then has a pop at me!  I've just come back from spending a week at my mums in Stroud and was horrified by their over-reliance on taxis for very short distances.

So its really difficult to share my enthusiasms with them although my Mum will support me by sponsoring me for charity events.

It gets a bit lonely sometimes as I feel I am now the oddball in the family.

I am interested in training for an Ironman but I don't even think I could tell my mum this.........I think it would send her to an early grave! 

What are your families like?  Or your work colleagues for that matter?

15/08/2009 at 10:52

a mix of p*ss taking and admiration from my friends and family, the p*ss taking tends to be from the fat unfit people,  the admiration from the people who try to look after themselves! in conclusion i put the negative stuff down to jealousy.!!

 i run for me anyway, not bothered what others think about it! all the best with your ironman training-go for it!

Nam
15/08/2009 at 11:55
ladyfe wrote (see)

And yet both my mum and sister are overweight - my sister in particular smokes, eats unhealthily, does no exercise whatsoever and then has a pop at me! 


... and there's your answer.  It's perhaps some sense of self-preservation on her part, turning the table on you rather than taking a good look at herself.

Find local people to train with and get your support from them.

15/08/2009 at 12:22

As Nam says there is probably an underlying sense of resentment/envy from your sister in the fact that she looks at herself she would see that you're not the one who is doing anything wrong. She doesn't like it so rather than try and make an effort herself, it is easier to try and drag you down....

I'm fortunate, my family accept that I run. My work colleagues also accept that it's part of my life. In fact I go running with one of the guys in the office and a few others are fitness orientated, so we're always discussing various topics of exercise, nutrition, sport, etc. There is one guy in the office who is envious of the miles I put in, but he's not nasty with it. I think he wishes he could do it hmself but just doesn't have the discipline to get out there.

LIVERBIRD    pirate
15/08/2009 at 13:23

Ladyfe - I think we're related!  Shall we meet up on Jeremy Kyle?

My family drink, smoke, eat fry ups and hold a full conversation while pouring salt on their already salted fish and chips.

They simply don't "get it".....

Mr LB's family are very proud of us and come to support us in local races if they can. They don't run either, but they show a whole lot more interest and I know they're very proud.

I only started running because I wanted to see what all the fuss was about. Now it's me doing the marathons and Mr LB is cheering on the sidelines!

15/08/2009 at 13:35

My hubby is kind of wierd.  He dosen't really give me any support and rarely comes to races with me, apart from marathons as I insist on a lift home.   He shakes his head and tuts etc when I say I'm going to do  x miles today, and sort of ignores me when I leave details of an off road route with him,.  His only hobby is boozing and he eats a really unhealthy diet too.   But he is extremely proud of my achievements and boasts to his mates about his wife being a marathon runner (i've only done 5).

With friends it's a mixture of p*ss taking and encouragement.

LIVERBIRD    pirate
15/08/2009 at 13:38

My friends fall into two categories...

Those who have NO idea why I do it (or why anybody would want to) - and those who are runners themselves and understand the fueling, the injuries and the training. Without the latter, I think I might have gone stark raving bonkers by now. It's always good to know that people understand where you're coming from.

15/08/2009 at 14:03

LB - my friends are like those as well, although there are more that don't understand why I do it than do!  I can cope with lack of understanding...its the underlying resentment I find hard to fathom

Having said that....nearly everyone at work assumes I will just get up and run the London Marathon every year and always appear surprised in April when I say I didn't do it!  ( I did it in 2006 and ever since have been known as the one who runs marathons!)

My daughter ( who is now 19) is actually quite proud of me. However she does pat me on the head in gentle fashion if I talk too much about running. .And she does use it to her advantage....often suggesting that I go out for a LONG run (when she wants the house to herself methinks...)

Nam
15/08/2009 at 14:18

My office is pretty good.    I got 3 colleagues into running and within 8 weeks two of them wiped the floor with my pathetic 10k and Half Mara PBs...   I am really pleased for them honest...

My boss sometimes bugs me.  I'm not ill more than the average person in our team but if I ever have a cold with me she always brings up the training and am I "overdoing it" etc.  But generally she's ok. 

15/08/2009 at 14:29

Nam - thats it........every illness like a cold or flu is always down to us 'overdoing it'!  Even though the rest of the non-running work force also succumb to the same bugs .Well done about your work colleagues btw......at work I have done a little bit of running around the field with some colleagues but so far they still think I'm the next Paula Radcliffe! . I'm still trying to plug it at work however

15/08/2009 at 14:49

My mother's favourite comment is  "Is that wise?"  meaning that she doesn't think that I should be doing it.  With the added, unspoken comment "at your age"

My ex' favourite comment is "I did the GNR"  Only he forgets to add, "once, 30 years ago."  Doubt if he could run a bath now although he subscribes to all the men's fitness mags and faffs around in a gym - allegedly

My  off-spring are great.  No 2 Child gets out the spatula (a la Run, Fat Boy, Run) and whacks me on the bum whenever I go out - according to him, he's helping with my training  No matter what I'm doing though, he always says "Good luck" (aahh, sweet).    No 1 Child thinks I'm mad, but in a nice "proud of mum" way.

Due to injury, my running will probably be limited to 10k distances, so I was toying with the idea of (thinking about!) moving to tri's instead.  When they'd all picked themselves up from the floor, where they'd fallen, laughing..................

TBH, doesn't matter to me what they think, whatever I do, I do for myself

Edited: 15/08/2009 at 14:50
15/08/2009 at 15:31

I get the odd parental comment of  'you better watch youre not overdoing it' or ' youre looking tired, just be careful', but I suppose that just showing concern.

LIVERBIRD    pirate
15/08/2009 at 15:57

My youngest once got into an argument with Kerry Katona's eldest daughter over tidying up after a kids session in the gym. When she was met with "my daddy's a popstar" Miss LB retorted " and my daddy's a marathon runner!"

She was only four at the time, but I like the sense of pride! (and the idea that marathons trump Westlife)

I have noticed on here though that some folk have to justify their running to their employees and if they're off ill, then their bosses will blame it on their training, or they have to make excuses for when they want time off (say for an IM / marathon abroad) 

I was mistakenly under the impression that what you choose to do in your own time should be your own business...

15/08/2009 at 16:31
LIVERBIRD wrote (see)

I have noticed on here though that some folk have to justify their running to their employees and if they're off ill, then their bosses will blame it on their training, or they have to make excuses for when they want time off (say for an IM / marathon abroad) 

I was mistakenly under the impression that what you choose to do in your own time should be your own business...

I don't think that it's just running/sport where you have to justify/make excuses about taking time off. If your boss doesn't 'get' your hobby/interest they will always find it difficult  to understand why you would want to take time off or spend lots of money to persue it.

Also, it is your own business what you do in your spare time except when it impacts your work.  If, for example, you break your ankle during a race, is it any different to breaking your ankle because you were drunk?  

15/08/2009 at 16:55
Gertie (IM not a girl!!) wrote (see)
Also, it is your own business what you do in your spare time except when it impacts your work.  If, for example, you break your ankle during a race, is it any different to breaking your ankle because you were drunk?  


I don't think you can draw a comparison between injuring yourself whilst drunk and injuring yourself whilst running? Running can hardly be classed as an extreme sport on a par with say, ice climbing on Everest. Drinking to excess is obviously self destructive whereas running isn't really - unless you deliberately run under a bus. Besides, I could break my ankle falling over my Dyson whilst hoovering - would that be my fault? No. Not unless I was pissed up at the time!

Back to the original point of the thread. My kids fall somewhere between being amused and embarrased about my levels of training. The eldest in particular is always horrified if i go for a run around the village where her mates might be hanging out. I bring shame on her apparently. I asked whether she would rather have a fat arsed mum who sits on the sofa with twenty Bensons and a bottle of vino every night. For some reason, yes was the answer!  The younger two don't really care what i do as long as I cook dinner first... My parents have no idea what i get up to, but they have sponsored me  for bike rides in the past, so I guess they are supportive. My friends think i'm mental, but admire my efforts and i have encouraged at least one colleague to join the gym. But i don't care - i do it for myself and to keep busy in the wake of a relationship meltdown. Far better to go for a run, than sit and obsess an ex!

15/08/2009 at 17:05
angelic wrote (see)
 But i don't care - i do it for myself and to keep busy in the wake of a relationship meltdown. Far better to go for a run, than sit and obsess an ex!


It's what got me through an extremely stressful divorce and the day that I finally (after 2 years) got the papers through, I did my first and fastest 10k. 

Still trying to catch up with it (let alone beat it)

15/08/2009 at 17:11
angelic wrote (see)

I don't think you can draw a comparison between injuring yourself whilst drunk and injuring yourself whilst running? Running can hardly be classed as an extreme sport on a par with say, ice climbing on Everest. Drinking to excess is obviously self destructive whereas running isn't really - unless you deliberately run under a bus. Besides, I could break my ankle falling over my Dyson whilst hoovering - would that be my fault? No. Not unless I was pissed up at the time!

I'm sure if your boss was a tee total couch potato they could.

All I'm saying is that what is an acceptable and enjoyable lifestyle to us might not be looked at in the same way by other people. 

Nam
15/08/2009 at 17:13
LIVERBIRD wrote (see)

My youngest once got into an argument with Kerry Katona's eldest daughter over tidying up after a kids session in the gym. When she was met with "my daddy's a popstar" Miss LB retorted " and my daddy's a marathon runner!"

She was only four at the time, but I like the sense of pride! (and the idea that marathons trump Westlife)


LOL!!!!    It sure as feck trumps Ms Katona!!!

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_9cgC1zM7dEM/R-zRiJ73M3I/AAAAAAAAo9A/z19mGcIzzKk/s400/kerry.jpg

15/08/2009 at 17:22

http://images.mirror.co.uk/upl/m4/jul2009/3/4/kerry-katona-pic-sm-xposure-508912922.jpg


Nothing like a bit of post-run relaxation.....................

15/08/2009 at 17:39

I'm lucky in that all my family are supportive and come to many events to cheer me on.

Most of my friends admire what I do but its not always been so. A few years back certain friends including my ex used to make the usual comments I was obsessed and l be knackered when I'm older. Time has gone by and I'm still fit now as then and they who are now over weight with high blood pressure etc, ask for my advice on health and fitness issues.

My family and friends can now see how I have benefited from running and some are are inspired to try it for them selves. My advice is to keep at it and over the next few years your family and friends will be with you

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