best running put-downs

how do you silence mocking spectators?

181 to 189 of 189 messages
14/05/2007 at 09:58
Nah, stuff 'em Minnie, if they're gonna dish it out, they've gotta take it, and if your mob are embarrassed cos you've got the bottle to stand up to them, tough!

Read your post and thought it was hilarious - good on ya gal!
14/05/2007 at 10:36
If it's male hecklers, all I do is wriggle my little finger at them-that usually shuts them up!!
14/05/2007 at 18:00
I got told yesterday by a little girl handing out sponges that I should have a pink one as it's my colour......not entirely sure why, but put a smile on my face.
14/05/2007 at 19:11

i usually say something like .... i still have your mothers knickers, can you ask her if she wants them back!

then do 800m very fast O-)

14/05/2007 at 19:14
I just say to the chavs, "put your cigarette and cheap lager down and try to run 100 yards with me". Never been taken up yet.
30/06/2007 at 23:29
just seen this thread... A while ago I had my bum groped by a kid in school uniform - he was walking along with a mate and I ran between them. 50 yards down the road I was so mad that I stopped, walked back and asked them if they really thought that was acceptable behaviour. They both blamed the other. I told them I didn't care who it was, I held them both responsible and that I recognised their school uniform (not true), and that the school and their parents would be hearing from me. They looked a bit pale and tried to hide their ties and blazer crests!

I then rang a local school uniform shop, worked out which school it might have been, and emailed a description. I was emailed an apology and invited in to look at photos with the headteacher, but to be honest, I couldn't be bothered in the end. I figured I'd given them a scare, which was the main thing, and hopefully they'll keep their hands to themselves in future :-)

On a more of a put-down note, I got mooned the other day by some kid who said "bet you've never seen this before" Me: "No, never so pale or so soft" His friends were laughing, and as I left I could hear him saying "what, what did she say?" lol...
01/07/2007 at 13:36
My usual one is quite simple:
"Save yer breath, I can see yer mouth moving but I can't hear you."

If he/she/they carry on I just take my hearing aid out of my pocket and tell them to talk into that.

One from a few weeks back when it was really sunny, I was running home from work carrying a pack which contained the whole weeks worth of uniform to be washed plus safety shoes (heavy steel toe caps).

I was just around the corner from home, face red as a beetroot and ready for collapsing when I passed a group of girls. They know I am deaf so, thinking I wouldn't know what she was saying, one says to the others "look at the state of him" to which I replied "I know, handsome aren't I?"

Raised a good laugh and they still can't look me in the face. She was as red faced as me after that.

BTW, in case you are wondering, I can lip read.
01/07/2007 at 17:34
I was out on a club run in April, with a couple of others, 3 days before the Paris Marathon. The previous few weeks there had been a kid walking along with his mutt, on one of those extendable leads. Every week, when we came up, he would let the lead out, so the dog and lead got in our way.

This particular day i was 'well up for it' as one might put it, having spent the past 3 months training and then going through taper madness. There were about 4 of us, and as we approached him from behind, i shouted 'excuse me please'. Cocky little s*d said No, and as we overtook him he shouted'You..' but didnt get any further as i turned on my heel and faced up to him (he was about 13) and said 'i what?' he didnt say anything and so i repeated he started to back away sheepishly i then pointed out to him that getting in the way of runners is not the best policy.......

My club mates were shocked! I am normally such a shy retiring type;-)
02/07/2007 at 00:01
Having read some of peoples experiences on here, I just think its rather sad that things have got to the point in this country where someone can't even go out to do some exercise without the "fear" of someone (usually a rude teenager) saying something rude to them.

One thing I have noticed recently, and that I feel I should make fellow runners aware of, is that I have noticed a new trend amongst yobbish teenagers that involves roaring very loudly at a passing runner (and also cyclists) on the pavement. I presume this is with the intention of forcing them into the road, which can be extremely dangerous. I saw this happen to a man a few days go, and it is not funny.

I agree with this "put-downs" business, although surely they should be called "stand-ups" (?), as we're standing up to these idiots. These people have no right to place fear in the minds of someone doing running (or any form of activity) outdoors. Although what you say back should be of the form where it puts them in their place but doesnt make you look rude (like them) - i.e. no swearing, etc.

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