Chronic underachiever

Hi all,

Just in after running the GSR half marathon in Glasgow today and I've failed spectacularly again.  I'm so gutted, I think more so because I really thought I had a chance at this one.

I've been trying to run a sub 2h half since I started running, the nearest I've got is 2h 3min.  I genuinely believed I could do it today and was on target all the way to mile 12 but then just couldn't keep going and I'm furious and disappointed with myself in equal measures.  Finished in a soul-destroying 2h 8min.  I can't describe just how bad I feel about myself.  It's made worse by my husband beating his previous PB by 8mins and running 1h 43 - I'm trying to be pleased for him but it only amplifies my failure.

I don't know why I keep doing this to myself.  I'll be beating myself with this stick for months or until the next race I manage to mess up.

Is there any hope for me? I've run about 8 half marathons now and failed in all of them.  I guess I'm just looking for someone to say they did the same then managed to turn things around and slash their times.  Is it possible?

I genuinely feel like throwing my trainers out and never running again because what's the point when I never get any better at it?!

My most recent half marathon took me 2 hours and 2 seconds. Am I beating myself up? Am I a failure? No. I enjoyed the event (not race, event) and had a pleasant day out in good company.

With the name Rubbishrunner and your constant talk of failure you clearly regard yourself as a failure. Sounds like you have a major self-esteem issue, especially if you're pissed off at your OH for scoring a pb.

Your times are entirely decent but you're never going to win or set the world alight at running. Nor am I. So what? Run for the fun and the health benefits, eat the occasional cake, go to events for the hell of it. Seriously, if you come in after 2 hours does it really matter?

Lighten up!

Have you trained for a different result or do you just hope for one?

Muttley is right- you are better than 95% of the population of Glasgow, who stayed in bed this morinig, or vegged out in front of the TV.

Maybe you should either: accept that you do this for fun, and enjoy the day without stressing too much about the time OR; change something- join a club? change the way you train?

I am one of those who stares at their watch all the way round, struggling to beat some pre-determined target, and it takes all the fun out of the day...........for that reason, I've given up on halfs, and even to an extent marathons, and now do trail races/ ultra's etc, where you have no idea what time to aim for , and just enjoy the day. What about trying trail races instead, take the pressure off time- wise, and just enjoy?

Couldn't just read and run as it were.

I have never run a HM (training for my first in Aviemore in 6 weeks) so can't offer any great pearls of wisdom but what I can say is how much I admire someone who has run eight and also who has an a goal and keeps working towards to it. Both of these achievements are amazing.

Please focus on the positive.

C

Thanks everyone,

It means a lot that you bothered to reply.

I have changed my training the past couple of months, working on increasing speed.  I run 4 mornings a week, between 4 and 6.5 miles usually, and a long run of 10-13 miles at the weekend.  I've been doing interval/reps and tempo runs for the first time.  I ran a 6.5 mile run a couple of weeks ago in 55mins and did a 13mile easy(ish) run in 2h 4min so I really thought I had improved my pace sufficiently to improve.  Hence the disappointment.

Tricialitt - I can hardly take my eyes off my watch when I run and tend to panic if the pace falls. I've often wondered if ultra-runs would be the way forward for me - long and slow and different to what all my friends are doing so I can't directly compare myself to them. 

Unfortunately (or fortunately?!) I've already signed up to Aviemore (see you there Crimson) and the Disneyworld marathon in January.  I think I'm going to just focus on lots of long, slower miles and just build up the endurance to get round them in one piece and then think about what I want to do after that.  I know that what I'm doing now isn't working for me so something is going to have to change.

If the GSR is in Glasgow, are the energy bars battered and deep fried?

Rubbishrunner wrote (see)

Thanks everyone,

It means a lot that you bothered to reply.

I have changed my training the past couple of months, working on increasing speed.  I run 4 mornings a week, between 4 and 6.5 miles usually, and a long run of 10-13 miles at the weekend.  I've been doing interval/reps and tempo runs for the first time.  I ran a 6.5 mile run a couple of weeks ago in 55mins and did a 13mile easy(ish) run in 2h 4min so I really thought I had improved my pace sufficiently to improve.  Hence the disappointment.

Tricialitt - I can hardly take my eyes off my watch when I run and tend to panic if the pace falls. I've often wondered if ultra-runs would be the way forward for me - long and slow and different to what all my friends are doing so I can't directly compare myself to them. 

Unfortunately (or fortunately?!) I've already signed up to Aviemore (see you there Crimson) and the Disneyworld marathon in January.  I think I'm going to just focus on lots of long, slower miles and just build up the endurance to get round them in one piece and then think about what I want to do after that.  I know that what I'm doing now isn't working for me so something is going to have to change.

Rubbishrunner wrote (see)

Thanks everyone,

It means a lot that you bothered to reply.

I have changed my training the past couple of months, working on increasing speed.  I run 4 mornings a week, between 4 and 6.5 miles usually, and a long run of 10-13 miles at the weekend.  I've been doing interval/reps and tempo runs for the first time.  I ran a 6.5 mile run a couple of weeks ago in 55mins and did a 13mile easy(ish) run in 2h 4min so I really thought I had improved my pace sufficiently to improve.  Hence the disappointment.

Tricialitt - I can hardly take my eyes off my watch when I run and tend to panic if the pace falls. I've often wondered if ultra-runs would be the way forward for me - long and slow and different to what all my friends are doing so I can't directly compare myself to them. 

Unfortunately (or fortunately?!) I've already signed up to Aviemore (see you there Crimson) and the Disneyworld marathon in January.  I think I'm going to just focus on lots of long, slower miles and just build up the endurance to get round them in one piece and then think about what I want to do after that.  I know that what I'm doing now isn't working for me so something is going to have to change.

See you in Aviemore!

C

Hi rubbish runner - first of all, as everyone has pointed out, this is actually not a bad result at all...secondly, i'd be interested to know how fresh you felt going into this race and whether you tapered at all (if anything, that training programme seems excessive to me, if it was really five runs a week plus some interval work..overtraining is a classic mistake, your body needs to rest to get stronger)...and thirdly, your previous post on pacing suggested there was a bit of a training incompatibility between you and your husband,, which won't have helped...my advice, as others suggest, is to stop watching the watch all the way round and start enjoying running again...trail races (but NOT ULTRAS) would be a good idea as they are often about enjoying the countryside and have a less competitive vibe than HMs...good luck!!

Hi

My HM times are 2:22 and more recently 2:36, so at least you know your faster than me. It is frustrating when you are close to breaking the hour or whatever goal set.
Try the Aviemore race without your watch on, I know that sounds drastic but you may suprise yourself, by running to how you feel and you know how it feels to run at that pace.

Rubbishrunner - You need to change your name for a start, and your training indicates you are cabable of sub 2hr, maybe you are getting so stressed out about achieving it a lot of nervous energy is being used. Go and enjoy Aviemore, as you train for your mara your endurance/fitness will improve and your HM time come down.

As above you need to change your name; running is supposed to make you feel good/better about yourself. You sound like you are 'self-harming'! Also as above you sound like you are training too hard; you stress your body, recover, stress more recover, stress more etc. Most important you 'taper' before the race so that on the start line you are buzzing with excitement. Find a good program (www.ironbridgerunner.co.uk) stick to it, see how you get on! And keep us informed!

As others have said - change your name!! What did someone from up your way once say - "if at first you don't succeed...". You say you have completed 13 mile training runs in 2hrs 4 - that is TOO FAST!!! You have probably worn yourself out! Look up a decent training schedule and calculate your correct training paces (all available on RW). And stop beating yourself up about it - relax and enjoy it, you'll soon beat it and your next target will be 1hr55..