Chronic underachiever

Failed to reach my target again!

1 to 20 of 79 messages
02/09/2012 at 14:45

Hi all,

Just in after running the GSR half marathon in Glasgow today and I've failed spectacularly again.  I'm so gutted, I think more so because I really thought I had a chance at this one.

I've been trying to run a sub 2h half since I started running, the nearest I've got is 2h 3min.  I genuinely believed I could do it today and was on target all the way to mile 12 but then just couldn't keep going and I'm furious and disappointed with myself in equal measures.  Finished in a soul-destroying 2h 8min.  I can't describe just how bad I feel about myself.  It's made worse by my husband beating his previous PB by 8mins and running 1h 43 - I'm trying to be pleased for him but it only amplifies my failure.

I don't know why I keep doing this to myself.  I'll be beating myself with this stick for months or until the next race I manage to mess up.

Is there any hope for me? I've run about 8 half marathons now and failed in all of them.  I guess I'm just looking for someone to say they did the same then managed to turn things around and slash their times.  Is it possible?

I genuinely feel like throwing my trainers out and never running again because what's the point when I never get any better at it?!

02/09/2012 at 16:11
Blimey.

Maybe you should take a step back and realise that completing a HM is an achievement and not a failure. Rather than beating yourself with a stick you may want to consider the positives: like the fact that you can run (sounds like no big deal but everytime I hear about someone getting ill or injured I realise how lucky it is to be healthy and fit). Also, you made really nice times, and it looks like 2h can be achievable - you should probably have a good think about training plan and preparation as well as nutrition.

Take a break now and try another form of activity - and only run for pleasure without set targets for a while.

When you do pick your next race, pople here have advised to have 2 targets in mind - a dream one and one you'll be happy with - may help!
02/09/2012 at 16:41

My most recent half marathon took me 2 hours and 2 seconds. Am I beating myself up? Am I a failure? No. I enjoyed the event (not race, event) and had a pleasant day out in good company.

With the name Rubbishrunner and your constant talk of failure you clearly regard yourself as a failure. Sounds like you have a major self-esteem issue, especially if you're pissed off at your OH for scoring a pb.

Your times are entirely decent but you're never going to win or set the world alight at running. Nor am I. So what? Run for the fun and the health benefits, eat the occasional cake, go to events for the hell of it. Seriously, if you come in after 2 hours does it really matter?

Lighten up!

02/09/2012 at 16:50

Have you trained for a different result or do you just hope for one?

02/09/2012 at 16:57

Muttley is right- you are better than 95% of the population of Glasgow, who stayed in bed this morinig, or vegged out in front of the TV.

Maybe you should either: accept that you do this for fun, and enjoy the day without stressing too much about the time OR; change something- join a club? change the way you train?

I am one of those who stares at their watch all the way round, struggling to beat some pre-determined target, and it takes all the fun out of the day...........for that reason, I've given up on halfs, and even to an extent marathons, and now do trail races/ ultra's etc, where you have no idea what time to aim for , and just enjoy the day. What about trying trail races instead, take the pressure off time- wise, and just enjoy?

J1M
02/09/2012 at 17:00
What was you training schedule for the 1/2?

I'm sune You can run sub 2h if you adjust your training
J1M
02/09/2012 at 17:01
Muttley, I suppose in the grand scheme of things it doesn't really matter but I find it so hard to put so much effort into something then not achieve it.

I don't want to seem pissed off about my husband's PB- he's worked hard for it. I congratulated him and meant it! It's just difficult to be happy for someone else at the same time as dealing with my own disappointment.

I think the best way forward for me just now is to stop racing because that's where my disappointment stems from. I'll probably keep running to keep fit. Maybe I'll try again in the future. I know I'll never win a race but I'd love to see an improvement and to feel good about my running.
02/09/2012 at 17:03

Couldn't just read and run as it were.

I have never run a HM (training for my first in Aviemore in 6 weeks) so can't offer any great pearls of wisdom but what I can say is how much I admire someone who has run eight and also who has an a goal and keeps working towards to it. Both of these achievements are amazing.

Please focus on the positive.

C

Edited: 02/09/2012 at 17:05
02/09/2012 at 17:09
Do you know how similar you sound like? I was the same a few years ago. I ended up stopping running and trying different sports. When lookin back on it I realise that I was desperately trying to do something that was out of my reach for where I was at that time. My fitness, head and training needed to be shaken up for me to realise that the time goal was realistic and it's only after this change that I managed to improve beyond all of my own estimations.
02/09/2012 at 17:10

Thanks everyone,

It means a lot that you bothered to reply.

I have changed my training the past couple of months, working on increasing speed.  I run 4 mornings a week, between 4 and 6.5 miles usually, and a long run of 10-13 miles at the weekend.  I've been doing interval/reps and tempo runs for the first time.  I ran a 6.5 mile run a couple of weeks ago in 55mins and did a 13mile easy(ish) run in 2h 4min so I really thought I had improved my pace sufficiently to improve.  Hence the disappointment.

Tricialitt - I can hardly take my eyes off my watch when I run and tend to panic if the pace falls. I've often wondered if ultra-runs would be the way forward for me - long and slow and different to what all my friends are doing so I can't directly compare myself to them. 

Unfortunately (or fortunately?!) I've already signed up to Aviemore (see you there Crimson) and the Disneyworld marathon in January.  I think I'm going to just focus on lots of long, slower miles and just build up the endurance to get round them in one piece and then think about what I want to do after that.  I know that what I'm doing now isn't working for me so something is going to have to change.

02/09/2012 at 17:21

If the GSR is in Glasgow, are the energy bars battered and deep fried?

02/09/2012 at 17:23
Posted twice, sorry.
Edited: 02/09/2012 at 17:25
02/09/2012 at 17:27
Rubbishrunner wrote (see)

Thanks everyone,

It means a lot that you bothered to reply.

I have changed my training the past couple of months, working on increasing speed.  I run 4 mornings a week, between 4 and 6.5 miles usually, and a long run of 10-13 miles at the weekend.  I've been doing interval/reps and tempo runs for the first time.  I ran a 6.5 mile run a couple of weeks ago in 55mins and did a 13mile easy(ish) run in 2h 4min so I really thought I had improved my pace sufficiently to improve.  Hence the disappointment.

Tricialitt - I can hardly take my eyes off my watch when I run and tend to panic if the pace falls. I've often wondered if ultra-runs would be the way forward for me - long and slow and different to what all my friends are doing so I can't directly compare myself to them. 

Unfortunately (or fortunately?!) I've already signed up to Aviemore (see you there Crimson) and the Disneyworld marathon in January.  I think I'm going to just focus on lots of long, slower miles and just build up the endurance to get round them in one piece and then think about what I want to do after that.  I know that what I'm doing now isn't working for me so something is going to have to change.

 

Rubbishrunner wrote (see)

Thanks everyone,

It means a lot that you bothered to reply.

I have changed my training the past couple of months, working on increasing speed.  I run 4 mornings a week, between 4 and 6.5 miles usually, and a long run of 10-13 miles at the weekend.  I've been doing interval/reps and tempo runs for the first time.  I ran a 6.5 mile run a couple of weeks ago in 55mins and did a 13mile easy(ish) run in 2h 4min so I really thought I had improved my pace sufficiently to improve.  Hence the disappointment.

Tricialitt - I can hardly take my eyes off my watch when I run and tend to panic if the pace falls. I've often wondered if ultra-runs would be the way forward for me - long and slow and different to what all my friends are doing so I can't directly compare myself to them. 

Unfortunately (or fortunately?!) I've already signed up to Aviemore (see you there Crimson) and the Disneyworld marathon in January.  I think I'm going to just focus on lots of long, slower miles and just build up the endurance to get round them in one piece and then think about what I want to do after that.  I know that what I'm doing now isn't working for me so something is going to have to change.


See you in Aviemore!

C

02/09/2012 at 17:41

Hi rubbish runner - first of all, as everyone has pointed out, this is actually not a bad result at all...secondly, i'd be interested to know how fresh you felt going into this race and whether you tapered at all (if anything, that training programme seems excessive to me, if it was really five runs a week plus some interval work..overtraining is a classic mistake, your body needs to rest to get stronger)...and thirdly, your previous post on pacing suggested there was a bit of a training incompatibility between you and your husband,, which won't have helped...my advice, as others suggest, is to stop watching the watch all the way round and start enjoying running again...trail races (but NOT ULTRAS) would be a good idea as they are often about enjoying the countryside and have a less competitive vibe than HMs...good luck!!

02/09/2012 at 17:45

Hi

My HM times are 2:22 and more recently 2:36, so at least you know your faster than me. It is frustrating when you are close to breaking the hour or whatever goal set.
Try the Aviemore race without your watch on, I know that sounds drastic but you may suprise yourself, by running to how you feel and you know how it feels to run at that pace.

02/09/2012 at 18:06
Crikey I'd be well chuffed if I could run a HM, a little over 2 hours is an achievement.
Coming from an athletics background I can really understand your disappointment, the people/person we are most competitive with is ourselves.
Maybe you need to relax a it more as in not looking at Ur watch so much during the race, you know you can do it, just trust in the fact you know the pace you to run at.
Here's to you getting under the 2 hour mark in the not too distant future x
02/09/2012 at 18:11

Rubbishrunner - You need to change your name for a start, and your training indicates you are cabable of sub 2hr, maybe you are getting so stressed out about achieving it a lot of nervous energy is being used. Go and enjoy Aviemore, as you train for your mara your endurance/fitness will improve and your HM time come down.

02/09/2012 at 19:54

As above you need to change your name; running is supposed to make you feel good/better about yourself. You sound like you are 'self-harming'! Also as above you sound like you are training too hard; you stress your body, recover, stress more recover, stress more etc. Most important you 'taper' before the race so that on the start line you are buzzing with excitement. Find a good program (www.ironbridgerunner.co.uk) stick to it, see how you get on! And keep us informed!

02/09/2012 at 20:08
I'd say it's purely down to attitude. 90% of a long run to me is the mental ability to keep going. Stop taking your watch with you, stop focusing on times and start enjoying running again.
02/09/2012 at 22:51

As others have said - change your name!! What did someone from up your way once say - "if at first you don't succeed...". You say you have completed 13 mile training runs in 2hrs 4 - that is TOO FAST!!! You have probably worn yourself out! Look up a decent training schedule and calculate your correct training paces (all available on RW). And stop beating yourself up about it - relax and enjoy it, you'll soon beat it and your next target will be 1hr55..

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