Comedy Effluent

Get rid of your unfunny comedy waste material here

1,001 to 1,020 of 1,239 messages
10/11/2008 at 15:12
lol
gingerfurball    pirate
10/11/2008 at 20:32
(I had to think about that one!!   ) LOL!!
10/11/2008 at 20:38

 *chuckles*

Why did the toilet run down the hill?

To get to the bottom

mellifera    pirate
11/11/2008 at 16:00
A retired weathly chap weds a much younger woman but finds he just can't
bring her to orgasm during sex. They discuss it and he eventually goes
to a sex therapist for advice. The sex therapist tells him to hire a
young handsome man and stand, naked, over them during sex waving a
towel. They try this but she still isn't getting there. The old bloke
goes back to the therapist who scratches his head and then suggests he
waves the towel whilst the young man has sex with his wife. They try
this and as his wife reaches a screaming climax the old bloke taps the
young man on the shoulder and says "See, that's how you wave a towel!"
11/11/2008 at 16:40

Tsk!

Hey, did you all notice- we've gone over 1000 posts!

11/11/2008 at 17:09
(Moo: your serious Q... we're not descended from the (current types of) apes, we're descended from our common ancestor with them...)
11/11/2008 at 18:29
I stand corrected, MF!
12/11/2008 at 11:10
My wife's in bed with laryngitus .................................................................. bloody Greeks get everywhere
12/11/2008 at 17:05

How does every ethnic joke start?

By looking over your shoulder

15/11/2008 at 01:17

man walks into a bakers in Glasgow and asks "is that a sponge in the window or a meringue" to which the baker replies...

..."yes it is a sponge and yer nae wrang" 

15/11/2008 at 01:18

did you hear about the lifeguard that couldn't rescue the hippy?

he was too far out man!

15/11/2008 at 01:18

Two cowboys in a bar admiring each other's pistols.

"How come you've got five notches on your gun?" says one.

"That's for killin five injuns down in Dry Gulch. How many notches you got?"

"Six, for killin four Mexicans down El Paso way."

And the first guy says "How come you got six notches and ya only killed four Mexicans?"

"Well. Ya get bonus notches for Mexicans."

15/11/2008 at 01:18

How many Spanish guys does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just Juan.

15/11/2008 at 01:20
With apologies to all Buddhists:  Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused the local anaesthetic when having a tooth out?   He wanted to transcend dental medication.
15/11/2008 at 01:20
Little Colin asks his dad for a telly for his bedroom and despite his misgivings , dad agrees.
2 days later , little Colin comes down the stairs and in a loud voice asks , " Dad, what's love juice ?"
Dad looks horrified , but explains the joys of sex to little Colin.
Little Colin just sits there with his chin on the deck in amazement.
" So , what were you watching ?  "  asks Dad. And little Colin answers
"Wimbledon"
15/11/2008 at 08:27

Did you hear about the Buddhist who ordered a hotdog - he said to the vendor "I want  to be made one with everything"

When he asked for his change, the vendor said "Change comes from within"

------------------------------------------------

What do you call a Spanish football player with no legs?

Grassy ass

...no car?

Carless

BADUM-TSHHHHK!

15/11/2008 at 15:55

Nice!

Why did the bald man cut holes in his jeans pockets?

So he could run his fingers through his hair.

20/11/2008 at 12:06

Have you heard about the magic tractor?

It turned into a field.

20/11/2008 at 12:22

A little girl walks in to the lounge one Sunday morning while her Dad is reading the paper.”Where does poo come from?” she asks.

The father feeling a little perturbed that his 5 year old daughter is already asking difficult questions thinks for a moment and says: “Well you know we just ate breakfast?” “Yes,” answers the girl.

“Well the food goes into our tummies and our bodies take out all the good stuff, and then whatever is left over comes out of our bums when we go to the toilet, and that is poo.”

The little girl looks perplexed, and stares at him in stunned silence for a few seconds and asks:
“And Tigger?”

20/11/2008 at 12:41
Old Chinese proverb says (in a very bad chinese accent):

Man who have hands in pocket can feel cocky all day.
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