Early morning runs - selfish?

Is it selfish to run early if I know it will wake my partner up?

1 to 20 of 48 messages
02/04/2013 at 10:36

I would like to run early in the morning so that I can spend the evening doing other things - including 'quality time' with my partner and kids.

I've managed it at the weekends at 7am ish (not v early I know) and enjoyed it - really gives me a lift for the rest of the day.

In the week, our alarm goes off at 6:30 and my partner leaves at 7:20 at which point I can't go out because I have the kids who are too young to be left alone.

Is it fair to set the alarm for 6 so I can squeeze in a run? Partner is a light sleeper so he WILL wake up. Not a morning person so he'll be grumpy too.

Very tempted but it feels pretty selfish and I don't want him to resent my running (motivation is difficult enough!)

What do my fellow runners think? Anyone in the same situation?

Nicola

cougie    pirate
02/04/2013 at 10:37
Just run - they'll get used to it.
02/04/2013 at 11:15

I occasionally run early but only if I wake up naturally (which with a baby in the house is fairly common). Why not just do it if you happen to be awake, but don't set the alarm?

02/04/2013 at 11:19

Do it, you are only setting the alarm for 30 mins earlier.  He'll moan but get used to it and you'll be happier as you've been out for a run so will be extra nice to him!

02/04/2013 at 11:27
They'll get over it, or dump them
02/04/2013 at 11:29

I do it all the time to my missus.  It's worse too, we have a dog and the dog wakes up when I get up so she gets greeted by an over excited fury beast licking her face at 6.00am.  Then the dog gets involved to top it off.

Life is all about give and take.  It's hugely beneficial for you to run, both physically and mentally.  You'll live a longer, healthier and happier life for it so if he's not willing to give an extra half hour up for that, it's probably him who's selfish.

Maybe you could pay him back at weekends (no, I wasn't suggesting that....well actually...no, behave) and get up and see to the kids, let him have a lie in and make him breakfast in bed or something.

02/04/2013 at 11:30

Thanks guys - think perhaps I just needed a bit of encouragement from fellow runners.

Dumping them seems a bit harsh Dave after 12 years of marriage and two kids!

 

02/04/2013 at 11:34
You could find a new woman who runs with you !
02/04/2013 at 11:45

I think the 'selfish' bit is when you come back freezing cold, jump back into bed and 'use' your partner as a giant water bottle to warm up! But doing this does warm you up though... They do say love means never having to say you are sorry... But there is something about the screaming and threats to kill after you do it?

But to answer your question have a look at a book called 'Zen and the Art of Running: The path to making peace with your pace' by Larry Shapiro. Do not be put off by the title it is all about 'the middle way' ie finding balance. He discusses the very situation that you describe and the question of motivation etc.

Many partners just don't understand; even mine...  after 21 years...

02/04/2013 at 11:48

It depends on what time each of you goes to bed.

02/04/2013 at 11:49

Thanks SideBurn - will investigate the book.

02/04/2013 at 12:06

if it doesnt matter to you when you run,  give him the option - would he rather you went out in the mornings or later.

or if mornings can you not have your phone on vibrate and put it under your pillow so it has a better chance of not waking him up

02/04/2013 at 16:42

No not selfish, it's good for you and your husband knows this. Would he rather your wellbeing suffered for the sake of an extra half hour kip a day? Doubt it. My gf always gives me little barbed comments before I go out in the mornings as she has to deal with the kids, but I know she doesn't mean anything by it as she knows it's good for my health etc.

seren nos    pirate
02/04/2013 at 16:47

i really think it depends.....if your partner is generous with you having lots of time to run and social but really doesn't like being woken then don't do it........

or if you want to then sleep on the sette the nights you want to run and then you won't wake him up getting up for a run.....

if he is the type that moans whatever time you try and run then just ignore him and run in the mornings and let him be grumpy

02/04/2013 at 16:53
Dave The Ex- Spartan wrote (see)
They'll get over it, or dump them

Valid point though? you seem to have done your bit, I'd knock it on the head and get on with your running, plenty more out there

02/04/2013 at 17:01
C P 31 wrote (see)

No not selfish, it's good for you and your husband knows this. Would he rather your wellbeing suffered for the sake of an extra half hour kip a day? Doubt it. My gf always gives me little barbed comments before I go out in the mornings as she has to deal with the kids, but I know she doesn't mean anything by it as she knows it's good for my health etc.

 

I am not on commission for the book I mentioned above, but the author had this 'problem' he said the solution was to sit down and discuss how important running was to his wife. She resented the fact that he just 'went off for a run' and enjoy himself. Consequently in return for 'his' time spent running he 'gave' his wife time without the children later in the day, which she appreciated... The 'middle way'; sorted!

02/04/2013 at 17:14

I often get up earlier than my partner to go for a run. He used to moan, but now he just goes straight back to sleep. I often lay my running gear out the night before, so I don't have to disturb him more by rummaging through wardrobes and drawers!

02/04/2013 at 17:39
No it's not selfish , as you said, you will have more time in the evening, good compromise really . He could get up early with you and prepare a nice breakfast
my husband regulary gets up at weekends at 4 or 5 am to fish !!! I occasionally throw pillows at him if he's too noisy ,
such is marriage and putting up with each others hobbies
02/04/2013 at 18:34
Dave The Ex- Spartan wrote (see)
They'll get over it, or dump them

i agree with Dave- just get on with it !!

....cant believe you even bothered to ask the question tbh.....

02/04/2013 at 19:27

I have the alarm set to go off at 6 and sneak out of bed and get dressed in the bathroom. My better half quickly learned to go back to sleep for her alarm at 7. 

The only grief I get now is coming back to the house for a shower and getting in the way!

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