Has your training/racing ever caused tension or friction in your household?

1 to 20 of 31 messages
Tommygun2    pirate
01/02/2013 at 10:48

When I first started seriously training it did used to piss the Mrs off especially at the weekends. I would be totally useless after a long run and just lay around the house "recovering".

 But then she saw the benfit of me getting off my arse to do somethng positive and allways comes to races with me. Plus I tend to running first thing in the morning now while the rest of the family are still asleep.Also with being fitter my recovery is much quicker.

oh and she used to moan that I spent far to much time on here talking to on- line freinds and even meeting up with on-line friends....

Tommygun2    pirate
01/02/2013 at 11:06
kittenkat wrote (see)
 

Now life is much busier, I'm much happier and consequently online much less.

 

 

Same here, I tend to lurk more than post these days if I look at RW at all.

The fun threads are far to few these days anyhoo.

Bring back D2D, at least it made for interesting threads

Edited to say I am at work but with nothing todo today....hence posting on here

Edited: 01/02/2013 at 11:07
01/02/2013 at 11:11

My Squeeze runs and cycles too, and does other sports that I don't,

We met through running, (well, RW), and we were both running before we met, so it's never been an issue between us. 

In my previous relationship, my ex wasn't very interested, but he didn't find it a problem.

Edited: 01/02/2013 at 11:12
01/02/2013 at 11:17

i think im in the early stage of annoying everyone!

im moving this weekend and told everyone that im doing my 13LSR they just huffed and said "your always running, cant you miss 1 week"

little did they know i would of been done and back by the time they actually decided to move stuff 

Tommygun2    pirate
01/02/2013 at 11:25

Whats a Pron Site KK

01/02/2013 at 11:29

I am lucky as Mrs CC run also so does not have an issue. W hen training i try and work round when she works late.   She did get a holiday from work when i ran a marathon abroad a few years back but had to raise money for the charity she works for. 

KK - Now life is much busier, I'm much happier and consequently online much less.

Yeah right!

 

01/02/2013 at 11:47

my missus is quite happy that I run, she spent years as a snowboard instructor, and loves to swim, so she understands the need for a regular fix that physical activity gives. Her best friend is a coreographer and former dancer with the royal ballet, and my missus is quite into dancing and physical expression too. So although she's not a runner, she appreciates my interest.

I can imagine it is different if a couple have both been sedentary for years and then one partner takes up sport and starts to look and feel better. I suppose it could feel like a kind of betrayal. Not only are they doing something new that might not include you (bound to be scary if there are any underlying insecurites about the relationship) but because it's sport the potential benefits is that one partner begins to look better, which may be quite threatening. The sedentary partner may even feel resentment that they're not as healthy (for healthy, read attractive) by comparison, which could cause conflict. They look like a different person, do they still want the same things, are they happy with me, etc?

So i can see how any change in the dynamic of a relationship might cause unease, but if it's handled well i don't see why it shouldn't work.

01/02/2013 at 11:47
I'm home with poorly boy today kittenkat, and having now had 2 very broken nights sleep I am feeling NO incentive to go and do housework!

I've only been running for about 6-10 months (started about 10 months ago, but really got into it about 6 months ago), but I've managed to nag my other half into running too. Since I manged that, we tend to egg each other on to actually get out there and do it.
01/02/2013 at 12:06

Occassional 3rd degree friction burns. Not from the running but from the consequences i.e. several pairs of wet trainers all over the house, sweaty clothes, rollers and massage balls etc cluttering up the place. It's fairly minor.

Booking a marathon on our 1st day of a holiday in Wales was not so popular. Faking a spring in my step for the next 6 days of hill walking quelled that one.

Whats more bemusing than a source of friction is the 'Recovery run' days, as in "No running session today dear, just a quick recovery run", with the usual reply "Explain that one to me again".

01/02/2013 at 12:55

my husband exercises loads, but not solely running, he does off track MTB and swims like a fish, i swim badly so i don't go with him often, he doesn't mind me running , i often go alone, we try to do parkruns together if work allows,

i like my alone time , sometimes he comes and makes up his own version of what i'm doing, bit annoying , but hes very supportive,

and yes, biggest complaint of either exercising is leaving dirty stuff everywhere , particularly wet trainers  on the rad

the house resembles a kind of messy sports shop, the girl ice skate, and play netball, theres is usually sports kit out in every room ,

he complains any event i mention costs too much, yet buys ridiculously expensive cycle parts  - ooo  i feel instantly irritated thinking about it , let alone fishing tackle costs - angling... burns fewer calories than any other sport lol

01/02/2013 at 13:21

I returned to running after 11/12 year break ( I did run when I met my wife) I started again two years ago to lose weight (I shed 3 stone) - my wife does resent it big time as following the birth of our son she did gain weight and although she did start running to do the race for life and felt better for it but gave up. I supported her every step of the way and took her an her friend to the event looked after our son. But nothing would induce her to come along to watch me. She put all sorts of obstacles in my my way when I first started back - so I started running at 5:30 am so long before she gets up so no longer an issue - but she still would love me to stop. She works two days a week in the winter, 3 in the summer so if she really wanted to do something she could easily go for a walk/ride/swim. I don't take the p*ss with it. Don't belong to a club ( although I am an honorary member of my old club) I only do 3/4 races a year, none of which compromise family life so I continue and will continue - would just like a bit of support sometimes.

Edited: 01/02/2013 at 13:22
01/02/2013 at 13:57
Grendel3 wrote (see)

I returned to running after 11/12 year break ( I did run when I met my wife) I started again two years ago to lose weight (I shed 3 stone) - my wife does resent it big time as following the birth of our son she did gain weight and although she did start running to do the race for life and felt better for it but gave up. I supported her every step of the way and took her an her friend to the event looked after our son. But nothing would induce her to come along to watch me. She put all sorts of obstacles in my my way when I first started back - so I started running at 5:30 am so long before she gets up so no longer an issue - but she still would love me to stop. She works two days a week in the winter, 3 in the summer so if she really wanted to do something she could easily go for a walk/ride/swim. I don't take the p*ss with it. Don't belong to a club ( although I am an honorary member of my old club) I only do 3/4 races a year, none of which compromise family life so I continue and will continue - would just like a bit of support sometimes.

I think that's a bit of a strange attitude. Fine if she doesn't want to do it, fine if she worked full time and really needed the extra support but since she has free time of her own and your running doesn't seem to impinge much on family life why shoud she want to you to stop?

 

 

01/02/2013 at 13:59

Only ever had 100% support from my wife for racing and training.

My side of the deal is that I volunteer to avoid spending money on anything but essentials so that my wife can afford to visit her mum in NZ every couple of years.

01/02/2013 at 14:06
I agree, I think it's actually quite understandable. She perhaps feels she should be doing something about it, feels she's lost something she enjoyed etc but doesn't have the motivation to do anything about it. It would be easier for her not to have a constant reminder.

How old is your son grendel? As a mother of 2, it's taken me till the younger one is 5 (and the elder 8) to really get into regular exercise. It's not necessarily just about having the time. To be fair, I never really did regular exercise before the kids (although I did go through phases of going to the gym).
01/02/2013 at 15:00

Maybe you're right. Just another reminder this week on RW of how my mind really doesn't work like other people's in some respects. My OH was a runner before I was, and it would never even have crossed my mind to object, or be jealous or be, ashamed of myself for not doing it or anything else.

Marathon training can get in the way a bit but we've both done them  - and worked round them. 

01/02/2013 at 15:25

My son is 9, He was just short of 8 when I restarted - I think my wife is jealous (actually I know she is) that I have been able to shift the weight I had put on over the past few years and she hasn't been able to - she has a half hearted attempt to lose weight but doesn't stick at it - I would support her in whatever she wants to do - I do go swimming once a week with them but don't really enjoy it - but is is family time

I made an effort to change my diet etc, cut back on calories etc - and run - to be honest doctors orders (and that was the motivation) was the excuse I wanted to get back out - I will never return to the heights of the late 80s and 90s but I just enjoy it - taking part in the odd race etc - is motivation enough.

Still it would be a boring world if we were all the same, but would just like a little bit of support (even someone there to watch me finish would be nice!!!)

 

01/02/2013 at 16:06

Did have some moans "you're always running" etc to start with but now generally accepted, they only come and watch if it is a big race and have had quite a few holidays out of it. The main problem is caused by me working away, OH + kids would do all the stuff they wanted while I was away then when I was home I was expected to be 100% family orientated. Now I think they finally realise that it's not that I don't want to spend time with them but I have to fit in all the things I want to do when I'm home. Although as the races are getting longer they seem to think I've lost the plot.....

01/02/2013 at 16:07
Grendel3 wrote (see)

My son is 9, He was just short of 8 when I restarted - I think my wife is jealous (actually I know she is) that I have been able to shift the weight I had put on over the past few years and she hasn't been able to - she has a half hearted attempt to lose weight but doesn't stick at it -... 

I was going to suggest that this might be the case!  

When one partner stops smoking/drinking/loses weight, the other (who hasn't) often resents it and feels there is an implied criticism.

01/02/2013 at 20:46

I have two young kids and work 4 days a week so life is fairly busy, but for me running is my only hobby, and I schedule it in a way that has minimal impact on family life.  My younger child is only 4 and she, more than the 12 year old, does really want to spend time with me on the weekends as the week goes by in a whirl of work / school / after school activities, and I want to spend time with the family too. So I now do my long run on a Friday when I'm off work and the kids are at school.  I do a shortish run on the weekend- under an hour.  So the kids don't really notice I'm not around. A park run has just started up down the road from us and that will fit with Saturday morning ballet / basketball for kids so I'm going to try that tomorrow.  Tuesday I skip lunchbreak at work and finish a bit early so I can fit in a run before I pick up the kids.  Wednesday night is running club and that's the only evening that my husband needs to put the kids to bed / sort out tea etc. So I get to fit in 4 runs a week with very minimal impact on family life.  My husband is a fairly keen cyclist and disappears every Sunday morning for 3-4 hours whilst he rides, and I'm happy with that. I suppose I get a bit pissed off when he's really knackered from a hard ride and then sleeps for the afternoon...  That said, it all seems equitable and I think that with careful scheduling, it's possible for everyone to fit in their hobbies and for us all to spend time together too.  

They're not hugely keen on supporting me at races, which I understand. But if it's a really big one / a very local one, they sometimes come to support me for part of the route.  Also the running club is very family friendly so the family come to some events there.  My son is too busy with his basketball to be interested in running with the juniors but daughter is already chomping at the bit to go along to juniors in a few years...

02/02/2013 at 10:12

Its not really an issue for me now but it was a bigger problem when the kids were younger.  Mr Minni would often go in the huff because he was left to entertain 2 young children while I was out training - and the very reason I chose to marathon training was to get a break from them!   However, now they're older he doesn't huff so much and he's really quite supportive. He often chooses to come and watch races as does Master Minni (13) but Miss Minni (16) doesn't tend to come so much now.

 

 

 

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