Need a diagnose

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29/08/2012 at 16:57

Hi All

I am feeling a bit down about myself today as I have been accused of being "obsessed" by someone who is very close to me.

To give you a background, I like to run 3 times a week and go to the gym 2-3 times on top of that. I normally go right after work or just before work or in the morning at the weekend. In total, I would say I spend about 6-7 hours/week on exercising. I run and work out because it gives me joy, confidence and helps me cope with stress. I do not care much about how many calories I burn or how toned I am. I am always happy to move my sessions for socials or to accomodate quality time with loved ones.

Do you think the amount of time I put into exercising is extreme? If you have been in a similar situation where your loved one(s) were resentful towards the amount you exercise, how did you resolve the situation?

Thanks for your comments in advance!

29/08/2012 at 17:04

Who cares?  Seriously.  Who really cares?

Do you enjoy exercising?

29/08/2012 at 17:09

I actually do care - I don't want my important relationships go down the drain because some people are unhappy.

29/08/2012 at 17:16

do you work in research?

you seem to like asking if people have had 'similar experiences'.......

29/08/2012 at 17:27

LOL, no I am not a researcher (or a journalist). I just like to talk about topics that may affect lots of people and exchange ideas/experience etc.

29/08/2012 at 17:34
Dump him
29/08/2012 at 17:37
Intermanaut wrote (see)

Who cares?  Seriously.  Who really cares?

Do you enjoy exercising?

ok, im with intermanaut then  ...if you like running, keep doing it. sod em

29/08/2012 at 17:39
Spend 6 or 7 hours a week on his dicky and he will be fine. Trust me.
29/08/2012 at 17:57

So what do you think the issue REALLY is?

29/08/2012 at 18:07
He prefers fat wimmin ?
29/08/2012 at 18:24

I'd ask them where they find the 'real' issue - is it you exercising? or you being away from them? Are they really calling you obsessive or are they scared of you changing? A very close friend of mine was 16st, never walked a day in her life and after a trip to the doctors she joined weightwatchers and a gym and changed her life around.

2 years later she's 10st, loves sport and her favourite thing is taking her kids out on bike rides. Along the way she's been called everything by her family. They were so scared that she'd change and become a different person that they tried to keep her in the hole that they had shaped for her. They were also jealous of her committment to the diet and turning her life around that they didnt know how to handle it.

29/08/2012 at 18:33

6-7 hours doesn't seem excessive.

I would say I exercise same or more (never really worked out the time - tend to think more about number of sessions!) Mind you my husband does same number of sessions so never been an issue! We just organise it so that as much as possible we are exercising in times we couldn't spend with each other or the kids. It doesn't always work out that way though but never been a problem!


29/08/2012 at 18:38
Is your man a Hungarian?
29/08/2012 at 19:06

You spend less time exercising than many spend sitting on their arses watching soaps or reality TV shite, or propping up the bar at the local.

It's their problem, not yours. Tell them to get stuffed.

29/08/2012 at 19:51
Muttley wrote (see)

You spend less time exercising than many spend sitting on their arses watching soaps or reality TV shite, or propping up the bar at the local.

It's their problem, not yours. Tell them to get stuffed.

Agreed.  And why should your relationships control you anyway?  Mrs Easy trains far more than me, she's quite a serious runner; a member of a club, represents her county and spends a lot of time training.

Personally, I like the break from her, but I'd in now way start complaining.  That would be a recipe for a breakup I think.  I know she loves running more than me. 

29/08/2012 at 19:59

Timi, if it's your fella (which you don't actually say it is), then he wants to meet some real obsessives....

the twice a day, 11 times a week brigade, who shape everything around their next run...

not just a casual run or gym session a day!

29/08/2012 at 20:11
So what does you female lover do in her spare time?
29/08/2012 at 20:31

6/7 hours of exercise a week is not extreme. On top of this alot of your training is done before work in the mornings......so its not like you don't have the vast majority of your evenings free.

'Obsessed' would be rather more than pro rata 1 hour a day.

However, could there be more than meets the eye here? Could you be training too hard, exercising to exhaustion everyday? Running yourself down chasing those exercise cannaboids and endorphins?

The hours you do are not too much, but the effort level might be too high. If people think you are becoming too thin, if you are very tetchy on days where you have to skip training or if you have no energy left over for the rest of your spare time there might be an issue that can't simply be highlighted in your opening post.

For what its worth I train about the same as you and don't think it is remotely intrusive on my home/family/social life. My wife would prefer I did a bit less, but only so that I could mow the lawn a bit more, wash the cars more often or have tea a little earlier!!! Ha ha



29/08/2012 at 21:35

ha ha .... just had a regular conversation with the OH 10 mins ago, then I read this.

OH: "Are you running tomorrow",  me: "No, not tomorrow, just a short recovery jog"

Sighs and raised eyebrows followed.

1 hour of exercise seems very healthy to me, particularly for those of us with a sedentary job. I have a similar 'issue', having lost lots of weight, and now having a normal bmi. I am constantly being told to put weight on by family and friends - it drives me nuts. Told I look unwell etc etc. I used to explain patiently, now I just loose my ragg!

29/08/2012 at 22:32

Is it time exercising or time away from home that is the cause of friction?  The trouble with gym work is that there is additional time spent in travel, changing, showering etc. that can add quite a bit to the total.  Having said that I think you are doing really well and your actual regime is not obsessive (you should see mine !!).

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