Obsession

Hi All

I am feeling a bit down about myself today as I have been accused of being "obsessed" by someone who is very close to me.

To give you a background, I like to run 3 times a week and go to the gym 2-3 times on top of that. I normally go right after work or just before work or in the morning at the weekend. In total, I would say I spend about 6-7 hours/week on exercising. I run and work out because it gives me joy, confidence and helps me cope with stress. I do not care much about how many calories I burn or how toned I am. I am always happy to move my sessions for socials or to accomodate quality time with loved ones.

Do you think the amount of time I put into exercising is extreme? If you have been in a similar situation where your loved one(s) were resentful towards the amount you exercise, how did you resolve the situation?

Thanks for your comments in advance!

Who cares?  Seriously.  Who really cares?

Do you enjoy exercising?

I actually do care - I don't want my important relationships go down the drain because some people are unhappy.

do you work in research?

you seem to like asking if people have had 'similar experiences'.......

LOL, no I am not a researcher (or a journalist). I just like to talk about topics that may affect lots of people and exchange ideas/experience etc.

Timi,

Family and friends sometimes view us nutter's as not want to spend time with them just because we are training. Sounds more about ever resentment or insecurities on the part of whoever is saying your obsessed than anything else. I'd have a sit down with then and tell them you love them very much and but this is who I am and if I didn't I wouldn't be the person you love and care about.

There might be a touch of misplaced guilt on there part because your doing something they consider healthy and therefore good and they arn't. Humans are silly creatures and all that.

It's probably the case that they want to do stuff with you but they feel probably wrongly that you don't want to spend time with them so might be good to surgest something you can both do together at the same time that they might like while at the same time beat them round the head with a large wet macheral for being so daft.

Oh and if they want to see what a real obsessive is point un this way and sure we can get then scared sh*tless talking about untra's or ironman training.

Intermanaut wrote (see)

Who cares?  Seriously.  Who really cares?

Do you enjoy exercising?

ok, im with intermanaut then  ...if you like running, keep doing it. sod em

So what do you think the issue REALLY is?

I'd ask them where they find the 'real' issue - is it you exercising? or you being away from them? Are they really calling you obsessive or are they scared of you changing? A very close friend of mine was 16st, never walked a day in her life and after a trip to the doctors she joined weightwatchers and a gym and changed her life around.

2 years later she's 10st, loves sport and her favourite thing is taking her kids out on bike rides. Along the way she's been called everything by her family. They were so scared that she'd change and become a different person that they tried to keep her in the hole that they had shaped for her. They were also jealous of her committment to the diet and turning her life around that they didnt know how to handle it.

6-7 hours doesn't seem excessive.

I would say I exercise same or more (never really worked out the time - tend to think more about number of sessions!) Mind you my husband does same number of sessions so never been an issue! We just organise it so that as much as possible we are exercising in times we couldn't spend with each other or the kids. It doesn't always work out that way though but never been a problem!

C

You spend less time exercising than many spend sitting on their arses watching soaps or reality TV shite, or propping up the bar at the local.

It's their problem, not yours. Tell them to get stuffed.

Muttley wrote (see)

You spend less time exercising than many spend sitting on their arses watching soaps or reality TV shite, or propping up the bar at the local.

It's their problem, not yours. Tell them to get stuffed.

Agreed.  And why should your relationships control you anyway?  Mrs Easy trains far more than me, she's quite a serious runner; a member of a club, represents her county and spends a lot of time training.

Personally, I like the break from her, but I'd in now way start complaining.  That would be a recipe for a breakup I think.  I know she loves running more than me. 

Timi, if it's your fella (which you don't actually say it is), then he wants to meet some real obsessives....

the twice a day, 11 times a week brigade, who shape everything around their next run...

not just a casual run or gym session a day!

6/7 hours of exercise a week is not extreme. On top of this alot of your training is done before work in the mornings......so its not like you don't have the vast majority of your evenings free.

'Obsessed' would be rather more than pro rata 1 hour a day.

However, could there be more than meets the eye here? Could you be training too hard, exercising to exhaustion everyday? Running yourself down chasing those exercise cannaboids and endorphins?

The hours you do are not too much, but the effort level might be too high. If people think you are becoming too thin, if you are very tetchy on days where you have to skip training or if you have no energy left over for the rest of your spare time there might be an issue that can't simply be highlighted in your opening post.

For what its worth I train about the same as you and don't think it is remotely intrusive on my home/family/social life. My wife would prefer I did a bit less, but only so that I could mow the lawn a bit more, wash the cars more often or have tea a little earlier!!! Ha ha