Pet Pig

5 years on and this still makes me chuckle thinking about it.  Fantastic.

No Toes wrote (see)

At last after years of being verbally abused by “chavs”et. al on street corners, I finally came up with some sort of revenge! On Friday evening I was a few miles into a decent run that was going well and I was really enjoying it. I was running through Bourne End when on the opposite side of the road this pikey (who was sat on a wall with his girlfriend) launched into the usual “you f*****g w****r, you f*****g queer, you f*****g loser”, his girlfriend clearly giggling with glee. I shouted back, “I may be a f*****g w****r, a f*****g queer, and a f*****g loser, but I can run faster than you and your pet pig” At which point the girlfriend stopped giggling and said pikey threw down his cigarette and beer can and proceeded to run after me. I let him follow me for several hundred yards (needless to say with a healthy gap between me and him) and when he stopped looking slightly purple around the gills, so did I. I turned round and said “I may be a f*****g w****r, a f*****g queer and a f*****g loser but I can run faster and further than you. Now get back to your pet pig before she gets lonely” My wife thinks that I should find another route tonight!

Very good

I had a similar run in recently where a group of chavs saw me running and crossed over to where I was and deliberately got in my way, presumably to start a fight or something. Didn't work very well though, I avoided the first 3 and ran smack bang in to the last 2 knocking one of them flying (they deliberately blocked the path completely and stopped next to a parked car so I couldn't even avoid them). They shouted some abuse but I was long gone at this point.

A mate of mine was running a few years ago when a lad started running alongside him, shoving him and calling him gay names (what is it with weird folk associating running with being gay?). He simply stopped running, turned to face the lad and booted him full on in the knackers. No more trouble from him

Thankfully these things don't happen often but it is irritating.

Great thread... Most i've had so far i a couple of kids try and keep up for a bit in a very light hearted way.

Hope i don't ever have to do this kind of thing but will bear it in mind!!

To be fair i'm much better at martial arts than running so look forward to it