Pet Pig

1 to 20 of 33 messages
16/05/2005 at 10:57
At last after years of being verbally abused by “chavs”et. al on street corners, I finally came up with some sort of revenge!

On Friday evening I was a few miles into a decent run that was going well and I was really enjoying it. I was running through Bourne End when on the opposite side of the road this pikey (who was sat on a wall with his girlfriend) launched into the usual “you f*****g w****r, you f*****g queer, you f*****g loser”, his girlfriend clearly giggling with glee.

I shouted back, “I may be a f*****g w****r, a f*****g queer, and a f*****g loser, but I can run faster than you and your pet pig”

At which point the girlfriend stopped giggling and said pikey threw down his cigarette and beer can and proceeded to run after me. I let him follow me for several hundred yards (needless to say with a healthy gap between me and him) and when he stopped looking slightly purple around the gills, so did I. I turned round and said “I may be a f*****g w****r, a f*****g queer and a f*****g loser but I can run faster and further than you. Now get back to your pet pig before she gets lonely”

My wife thinks that I should find another route tonight!

16/05/2005 at 10:59
Ha ha ha - excellent work NT's.

I think you're wife maybe right about needing another route!!!
16/05/2005 at 11:04
Yes no toe, good for you but you defo need another route now
16/05/2005 at 11:09
no toes: excellent put-down. I recommend moving to another town.

Otherwise. it's been nice knowing you.
16/05/2005 at 11:09
Nice one no toes!
16/05/2005 at 11:15
LOL - but seriously, police escort from now on eh?
16/05/2005 at 12:57
NT, that was poetry in motion - well done. Pity said t*at wasn't mown down by a bus as he chased you, however.
16/05/2005 at 13:01
LOL NT's or could that be no arms unless you change your route/appearence/name?
Duck Girl    pirate
16/05/2005 at 13:20

I'll have your kneecaps if you don't want 'em!
16/05/2005 at 13:29
Post of the month.

Don't suppose you've got a right foot without plantar fasciitis in a size 8? If so, could I have it?
16/05/2005 at 13:58
tops :o))) has made me giggle for the last few minutes.
cougie    pirate
16/05/2005 at 14:02
Tee hee hee ! Fantastic retort !
16/05/2005 at 14:17
ROFLMAO no toes.

Have you planned your new route yet?
16/05/2005 at 14:34
Excellent! Hope aforementioned pikey doesn't know where you live though.
cougie    pirate
16/05/2005 at 16:34
I'm still giggling.
16/05/2005 at 17:34
That's straight out of the top drawer!!

Bring on the chavs, I can't wait to use that one!!
17/05/2005 at 09:15
I will run tonight but may take a different route. If I do not post any more then you know that said chav has got together with some of his mates and their pet pigs and kicked the s**t out of me.
cougie    pirate
17/05/2005 at 09:51
nt - I'd say it was worth it.

Good luck !

(btw - a different route would be VERY good, and I'd bin that top you wore for a long time. Hey - any excuse to get new kit !)
17/05/2005 at 10:27
you'd have felt a bit silly if he'd outrun you tho!
17/05/2005 at 10:38
Very fair point TwoDogs. I suppose that it was a judgement call that was based on a quick assessment - chav, ciggy in hand, can of beer in the other and pet pig on a lead! Plus at a pinch I can 5 1/2 minute mile.
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