Relationships and running.

at what point in a new relationship, would you break it to your lover that Sunday mornings are sacred LSR time...and that you'd rather go out for a run than stay in bed with her....

I think you should tell her at the point at which  you'd rather go out for a run than stay in bed with her!

If that's the first weekend, then at least she'll know where she stands.  Or lays.

Be honest about it from the start, then you won't have to have a difficult conversation later.

I would have thought your partner would be happy to have some free time on her hands - that's certainly why I go running on my own, and probably why my boyfriend goes to the gym on his own!!

We've both always done this (prior to meeting) so wouldn't expect the other to have an issue with this. Is she getting fed up with watching you at the events & wants to do something else with you, or is it she'd rather spend time doing something else whilst you're running?

Best thing would be to talk about it

I find being completely undateable solves this particular issue.

Eggyh73, lol....

It's not easy whatever you do, but compromise is the only way forward.

My running used to be 'my time'. Then, five years after i took it up, enjoying LSR's on a Sunday away from the wife and kids, she decided to start. Now, rather than asking if i'm going on 'another run', she's always asking when she'll 'get her run in?'. It's difficult, and i find i'm always the one getting up extra early to get out the door but you have to talk it through. We now run alternate days. Some mornings, some afternoons (work permitting) and evenings. Anything to get our fix!!!

You have to talk about it though, as Rach say's. If you can't talk stuff through at this stage of a relationship, then good luck!

I usually make a deal with my wife, such as....I'll get up and do the early run so you can run in daylight......if you promise not to put the x factor or those twats from Essex on our tv this weekend.

I watch my crap telly when my boyfriend is at the gym- win-win (we both work out when we want & he doesn't know what I watch - and vise versa -although that's a worrying thought)

My boyfriend often doubts if I actually went running, says I've gone to meet someone else, I come home hot and sweaty, but smiling

try fitting triathlon training in when you both train and have kids! we have a diary and if you miss your session, tough luck or you bribe the youngest to cycle with you when you run. Oh for a simple life!

Sticky88 wrote (see)

My boyfriend often doubts if I actually went running, says I've gone to meet someone else, I come home hot and sweaty, but smiling

Haha I've got mapmyrun & he's always interested to see the stats - maybe that's his way on checking!!

I remember when i first told my partner, i was going to do a half marathon. Her words were 'great, your going to be tired out all the time!!'. Over the past two years i have done about 11 half marathons, and am doing my first full marathon next year (hey! could have done one sooner, but i wanted to try a lot of different races first), which she is okay with. She actually realises i am more awake and alert, and got a buzz on, when i have done a good run, since i usually get tired quicker when i stop for ages, so her theory backfired.

I have kept it in balance though, i run three times a week, but do longer runs when i go out, and i limit my running talk. She has been to the odd event, and she is proud of me, but you cant be a dick about it, and think it wont impact on your relationship, if your letting it take over your life. I live and breath running, but i also plan my running schedule, sometimes weeks in advance, so i know its going to have the least impact on my home life.

People who are non-runners do struggle to understand it though, why we do what we do.

I feel very fortunate to have an OH who has exercise equipment in the house. This has been a godsend with kids! When the kids were young it meant he could exercise at odd times (although wasn't running then). Now I am getting back into running and they are older he can exercise while watching the kids and I go out for a run!

C

I'm finding this thread so interesting. I thought it was just my husband who moaned about my running but it seems to be a problem everyone has with their partners.

Maybe we should have a top tips for how to combine running and relationships?

I currently get up at 530 to get my weekly runs in before husband and children wake up, I go to the gym when children are asleep and husbands supper is cooked and only the LSR (which I also start at 530) impacts on family life but oh the grief I still get. 'you woke me up when the front door closed, I'm always tripping over your trainers, the laundry smells of sweaty gym kit, why are we eating pasta again.'

Sometimes you can't please everyone. Keep running and don't give in but perhaps do less events and some early morning runs when she is still asleep?

It's all about compromise. You can have different interests and survive... you don't say what interests she has. If she has none yet moans about your running, that's her problem. 

There has to be some common ground for me - I coudn't be with a couch potato or anyone who watched Midsomer Murders  Sorry.

And let's not forget how endurance transfers to other ahem activities  that's got to be a bonus for her, surely?!

really take my hat off to people able to fit their running around busy family lives and often unsupportive partners...puts things into perspective and makes me realise how lucky I am to be able to get in most of training pretty easily, by comparison...married runners with young kids, you rule!

Ghostrider wrote (see)

 i run three times a week,

. I live and breath running, but i also plan my running schedule, sometimes weeks in advance, so i know its going to have the least impact on my home life.

Cripes man, if you "live and breathe" running, and can only factor in 3 runs a week you must be frustrated as anything for most of the week!

Must have a pretty busy life to have to plan those in weeks ahead as well!

Flo Po wrote (see)

I feel exactly the same way don't do well in the heat. I also don't do well in the mornings so long for dark cold nights...

I did 10 this morning too a lot slower than you but it was nice and cloudy.

Roll on the Autumn!

Mind you off to the Olympics later and as my run is out of the way I will have the sunshine back now.

Stevie G . wrote (see)

Ghostrider wrote (see)

 i run three times a week,

. I live and breath running, but i also plan my running schedule, sometimes weeks in advance, so i know its going to have the least impact on my home life.

Cripes man, if you "live and breathe" running, and can only factor in 3 runs a week you must be frustrated as anything for most of the week!

Must have a pretty busy life to have to plan those in weeks ahead as well!

I'm a staff nurse who often does 7 shifts in a row, and a mixture of lates and earlies, and then have to fit in child care which we struggle with due to both our shift patterns. Unfortunately i do have a busy life, but it goes with a job, that i live and breath too...

I only do three runs a week, since if i do more, i struggle with ankle trouble, not helped by being on my feet all the time with work...

practice nursing is the way to go- much more sociable, best thing I ever did for family life.

It's so good to know that I'm nto the only one who's got this issue but I could really do with a pick-me-up. Trouble is my partner isn't a complete non-runner. When we met we would run about the same pace and same distances (3 miles ish). I put running on hold for 6 months to finish an OU course but really got back into it around November. He runs but sees it as something he "has to do" to keep in shape and he now runs much faster than me. We run parkrun "together" and are both members of the same running club although he tends to only go to speedwork sessions.

He's not into races or increasing his distance and has said he finds talking about running really boring. He says he's proud of me but has twice asked me to not go to a race I've booked a place on in order to go to a family event. He doesn't see a race as a "good excuse" or one he's comfortable giving for my absence.

We've had rows about it and I don't know what to do about it. I was hoping to do my first marathon next year as well as a couple of other races, all for charity and I'm terrified he will ask me to give up one of those.

I'm lucky to have a supportive OH, but also find time to run from work at lunchtimes, to run to and from work if I want a longer run. I also don't work on Mondays, so tend to do long runs then and spend Sundays with the family. The only time it really inpinges is my Saturday morning parkruns, which are usually followed by fairly lengthy jollies in the cafe, when I have races or when the kids are on holiday (thankfully now over for this year). There are compromises to be made and changes to your lifestyle you can make.