think i'm gonna pack this running lark in - fed up!

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11/04/2009 at 13:25

ok, am proper fed up today. I've been running on and off for years. In last year, I've been running regularly, did a half marathon in Feb (2hr 23mins) and finally got the guts up to join a running club about 6/7 wks ago. I did my first race with them last week (5 miles - 50mins) and have my first 10K race next weekend.

 However, I am about 4 stone overweight and despite my best efforts and all sorts of diets have not lost a single pound (although I have toned up a lot and dropped a dress size through running). Fact is that I'm just too heavy, I feel so slow and look so HUGE compared to everyone else, even though I'm trying so hard I just can't go any faster cos I'm just so heavy.

Just got back from a 6mile run today on my own and my next door neighbour came out and said jokingly 'ooo, you're not built for running are you? you should just stop trying and accept your body shape' (cue me walking inside and bursting into tears!) question really is...has anyone stopped running, lost some weight and then tried again?

I'm thinking I'm gonna join Weight Watchers (again!) and do a different exercise, swimming/gym and then maybe try running again in 6/12mths when hopefully i'll be a bit lighter and it might be a bit easier.

Just wondered if anyone has had similar experiences? 

11/04/2009 at 13:39

Hi there ploddinglady

Don't give up if it's something you enjoy!!!  (If you actually don't enjoy running anyway, ignore what I'm about to say - yes, you might be better finding something you enjoy doing.  But I suspect you do enjoy it!).

2:23 for hm and 50min 10k is very respectable - whatever size you are or are not.  So you should be proud of that to start with.

Are the running club people welcoming?  If they are then who cares what you think you look like - if they don't appear to be bothered then why should you?  Some skinny minnies that I know that run would LOVE to do a 2:23 half marathon!  I think runners are notoriously accepting of all shapes and sizes - it's how hard you are trying that they bother about.  If your running club is genuinely judgemental (and not just that you're a bit paranoid ) then I'd suggest a different running club is the answer.  6/7 weeks isn't much time for the effects of a running club to kick in - at least give it the summer season to see what happens?

And your neighbour is just ignorant.  You should have told him/her that they should just accept that they are rude, obnoxious and don't have a clue what they are talking about and therefore bog off.

And if you haven't lost weight WHILST running, aren't you worried that not running means you'll just put more on?  You'd have to do quite a lot of swimming/gym to burn the same number of running calories?  Maybe it's a matter of looking more judiciously at your calorie intake than the exercise.  I'd say, go down the WW route but keep the running up.

Good luck whatever you decide - but please don't just give up running coz of the worries you have outlined!

11/04/2009 at 13:39

You're story rings very true with me.  I needed to get fit (for my job) so I joined the gym and lost 3 stone over 9 months.  I couldn't even run for a bus coz I was too heavy so thought I'd lose some weight first before even attempting to run.  At the gym I'd do bike, cross-trainer, weights finished by crunches and eventually lost the weight.  I sought advice from my gym instructor as I was now confident enough to try running.  In 10 months I've gone from running 2 mins on a treadmill to doing 10 mile the other day.  I struggled though as I am heavy set and cannot seem to increase speed.   The thing is I've not lost any weight in the last 10 months, if anything my thighs are even chunkier.   I would say I'm still one and half stone overweight.  I'm thinking of knocking the running on the head for a bit and trying something else.  One downside to running is I'm finding I'm always hungry and therefore eating more.

11/04/2009 at 13:54
Running is one of the best ways to support weight loss!

What do your runs "look like" now? Are they all long & steady, or short hard intervals - type sessions?

The latter is the best way for a fast weight loss result (but not to make you a long term better runner!)

Happy to give some sessions suggestions if you want to try it
11/04/2009 at 13:56


who cares what size you are?

You are out there running and that's what it is about.

What an awful thing for you neighbour to say. How utterly thoughtless...but you are doing it for YOU not her.

I'm sure your running will get easier if you lose a little weight - but it'll also get easier with time and increased fitness. And as you can run a little further and a little faster the weight may start to come off too. Don't give up. Combine it with WW if that would help.

and, as pointed out above, those times are pretty good actually. Another reason not to give up!

11/04/2009 at 13:59
Candy Ollier, I wouldn't mind taking you up on some suggestions.  My runs are slow and steady and although I've increased the distance, that takes it out of me and I don't have the energy to get any faster.  I could do with losing the weight.
11/04/2009 at 14:02

I agree with all above (except PC).  Firstly your neighbour is probably jealous. Secondly I am jealous of your race times.

I use WW to loose weight and it is great if I stick to it so go for it; however keep running too. I run quite a lot so allow myself a couple fo extra points on my running days to fuel my runs. I do get hungry through running, but remember increased muscle mass increases your ongoing calorie burn throughout the day.

There are lots of articles on here about running and weight loss and what sessions work best so have a read of them. Don't give up the running, just use WW to control portion sizes and try and lose the weight slowly and sensibly, that way it will stay off.

Good Luck.

11/04/2009 at 14:24
I suspect that you are feeling very upset from the comments that your neighbour made to you.Does he or she run themselves?  I would assume that they probably made the comment to you out of pure jealousy. I think that you are achieving some good running times keep at it.As some of the others have pointed out there is no other exercise better for getting rid of the calories than running.Have you tried using the Nike+ sportsband its ony £40 and great for motivation.
11/04/2009 at 15:34

Hi ploddinglady,

Don't give up! I truly believe that running is the best way to stay in shape and it sounds like your neighbour's tactless and unhelpful comments have just compounded the fact that you feel you aren't getting anywhere.  You've mentioned that you've toned up and dropped a dress size through running...I think that's a great achievement and you should focus on that and not how much you weigh. Isn't it a great feeling when your clothes feel a little loser?! Your running times are really respectable and I bet you don't look huge it's just how you feel at the moment.  It's such a shame about what your neighbour said, but it is a reflection of them and not you; he/she is simply jealous that you have the ability/drive/motvation/determination to get out there and run 6 miles.  Not many people can do that. I really hope you carry on. (swimming is good but you need to do quite alot of it to achieve same results as running...)

11/04/2009 at 15:46

Hi ploddinglady

Definitely do not give up! Your times for the hm and 5 miles are very respectable.  As for your neighbour - well what is there to say about someone so obnoxious that hasnt already been said!  Just smile and ignore her.   I dont think you should beat yourself up about getting faster - the more pressure you put on yourself to get faster the less likely it is to happen.  I have been running for 4 years and am running my first london marathon this year - I doubt if I will finish in less than 5 hours but I do know I will enjoy it.  If you aren't enjoying the running at all then may be you should look at something else but I think you maybe need to look at your diet and get some advice about the foods you are eating.  I am not saying you are eating the wrong things or too much but  it is amazing what a difference it can make to your energy levels.  I hope you keep it up but dont put yourself under pressure enjoy the running.

11/04/2009 at 17:44

Don't give up!   you'll only be proving the prat of a neighbour right. Do NOT do that!

I have had that remark (not built for running) said to me and have to say it's usually made by non runners........????

I am not sure why they say it but I suspect it's ignorance rather than sensible ignore it.

Running is the best thing for losing weight (if you're eating sensibly)

You run better than many people - don't give that away by giving up. It will be harder to come back to........not easier.

Candy is offering some sessions to improve your speed  - take advice and change your training to improve your speed. Giving up to 'lose weight' and come back faster is illogical.

11/04/2009 at 18:07


you sound quite down in yourself and very sensitive to what others say. If you really genuinely dont like running -pack it in! If it is about self confidence and self consciousness work on them and continue running in spite of others.Is you neighbour so important to you?  Others will think a million and one things about you no matter what you do or dont do-like it or not. 

Take pride in what you have acheived -give yourself credit and value.  Go for speedwork if you want but dont expect improvement each and everyday. Accept setbacks and relish in your victories however little.

it has gotta be for you (and you matter you know).

11/04/2009 at 18:10

As the others have said, 10 minute miling is not actually slow, and many skinny minnies would be happy to complete 5 miles in 50 minutes, so I hope you do stick with it. I have to say, I seem to need to run quite a few miles a week to actually lose weight, but it does keep my weight stable, and I too have got more toned.

Some people are just plain rude! Good luck.

11/04/2009 at 18:11
i say keep going you need to pat yourself on the back     the other % of population dont get off the sofa i tend to find myself going through periods of putting on weight and not losing it now  but at other times it just drops off me
11/04/2009 at 18:17

yeh weight is a funny thing. I cxan go yonks without losing an ounce, then I lose some and then I stop again.  I would chuck the scales, continue on your build up and buy some more in six months (or better go to a set in the chemist in 6 months)..

you times seem good to me. Large pat on back eh?

cougie    pirate
11/04/2009 at 18:21
Its just your neighbour trying to make himself feel better that he doesnt run. The sad f*cker.

You keep at it !
11/04/2009 at 18:40

Don't give up on the running now.  Your 1/2 time and the fact you've just done a 6-miler is pretty amazing.  A lot of people struggle to get off the couch.  If you're planning to change your diet and lose weight, running will tie in with that so well.  It might be a good idea to contact an organisation such as  These are 2 off-road running blokes, whose workshop I recently went to.  They have a lot of knowledge about nutrition for running.  Good luck with everything. 

11/04/2009 at 20:02
Keep at it PL, you're times are good but make it something you enjoy and certainly tell your neighbour to poke it.  What a horrible thing for them to say. Good luck
11/04/2009 at 21:12

thanks all so much, have read everyone's comments and do feel a bit better about my running.

Have had a good think about it all today and think maybe cos I've started running with the club and really pushing myself, plus the fact that I don't eat much (i know that doesn't make sense) and don't drink enough has just made me exhausted!

The club are fantastic people, very supportive and encouraging. When I ran on my own I only ever did long, slow flat runs. With the club I do shorter (4/5mile) faster run with loads of hills - the hills are killing me, maybe i'm pushing myself too much. I've been so knackered from my mid week runs with the club that I've not been going on my own at all at weekend.

You are all correct about my neighbour. He is a middle aged man and knows nothing about exercise of any kind. To be fair to him, I think he was trying to be nice cos he continued on to tell me that men like 'women with meat on them' and how he hopes I'm not flogging myself to death 'just to be thin' cos I'm fine as I am etc etc...but yes, as you have all said, I'd spent the hour of the run feeling very sorry for myself and feeling fat, huge, slow and useless and his remarks were just the last straw. As I came up the drive his first words were 'do you eat a lot?'....WTF??

Anyway, him aside (cos he's irrelevant really), have decided I'm just gonna give myself a week off running this week and just have a rest. Am gonna really try and change my diet and start drinking some water and change my mindset.

At the end of the day, I can always just tone down the runs and just go once a week for the company.

thank you all - this forum is great! 

11/04/2009 at 22:14

I remember asking my other half what the difference between the runners at the front of the pack and me.

He thought about it, sucked his teeth a little and replied "well they're all taller than you."

The funerals next week. When's your neighbours?

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