i began running because my ex wife entered us both into a duathlon. The plan was i'd run the two 5k legs and she'd cycle the 10k in the middle. She had to withdraw because of injury so i ended up doing the whole thing myself. I didn't really train, had never competed in any sports, and was not very fit at all. But i managed it round and felt good about myself for the achievement. I then entered a 10k with some colleagues at work, and then a half marathon with the same colleagues. Most of them fell by the wayside during training, but i persisted, albeit with minimal training once again, and finished each race through sheer bloody mindedness. When i'd finished the half I decided "well that wasn't too bad, why not do a full marathon" not fully appreciating the task in hand. Whilst preparing for the marathon my marriage hit the rocks and sadly we eventually separated a couple of weeks before I ran it. I had missed so much training that I was really so underprepared it would have been wise not to run it. But at the time i needed the distraction, and when i hobbled to the end in just over 5 hours I felt an immense feeling of relief. I started to laugh to myself and continued for about 10 mins, which i think was just me letting go of a lot of tension.
i've since run another couple of halfs. both of then a few seconds over 2 hours, so nothing spectacular. When i started running it was all about the goal of completing a race, then another race, then another. I didn't really enjoy the act but it served as a distraction, and it helped me feel good about myself that I was doing some exercise. I've never been overweight, so I too feel a bit excluded when I read articles on running that mention weight loss as though it's the main aim for running. For me, it's about some sort of achievement, something that i can focus on that is just for me, not about pleasing someone else. As i've continued I find that the more i run the more i enjoy the actual act of running for itself. I most enjoy running on a cold, clear, dry morning. The colder the better, so long as it's not wet and windy too. I like being up before most of the rest of the city, esp on a Sunday morning, and running along the river. Just being out at that time makes it feel like my place.
I can now feel myself slowly graduating from being someone who runs so that I can complete a race, to someone who runs because i feel better when i do than on days that I don't. For me it feels like a tipping point. I was not a natural runner, and it certainly didn't come easy for me. It has taken a concerted effort to stick to it consistently for the last few months, since I started running again in August, to make it feel like a normal part of my life, not something i will try to fit in because of a sense of guilt, or because i need to stick to a training plan.
