Anti-depressants & training

What's the effect?

201 to 220 of 40,326 messages
15/10/2003 at 12:11
A strange night's sleep, woke up a few times but went back to sleep, including when the alarm went off - not a good move!

I'm aching after yesterday's run as I've now remembered that I forgot to stretch. But feeling better about doing it, even if I didn't feel good about the time yesterday, any time is better than no time.

Feel a bit cyclical today, up and down, not staying in one state for long. Managing to focus on work fairly well (and would do better if could keep out of the forums), and feel like I'm adding something to the total sum of the team.

Bad point, sat and drank last night. No real reason, but wasn't motivated not to. Don't know if its a good idea or not. Also "decided" the dieting needs to start again, feel fat, look fat-ish in the mirror and clothes don't feel comfortable. Its no good deciding though, I need to want...
15/10/2003 at 12:25
Glad you're keeping it going Staggers. Hope the general crapness wears off soon.

Just wanted to post because this afternoon I've got a hospital appointment (my first ever!) and I'm a bit scared - mostly that he'll tell me to stop whining and get a grip (OK, realistically I know he won't). It feels like a last chance, and if it goes wrong I won't know what to do. Fortunately I have a wide range of depressive symptoms to show him today - usually if I make a GP appointment it's a guarantee that I'll feel more normal and end up apologising for bothering her. :-)

Sorry, didn't have a useful point to make, just needed to tell someone.
15/10/2003 at 12:40
Good luck Swerve. I found the best way to tell the doctor about my depression was to get so wound up in the waiting room worrying about what to say that I burst into tears as soon as I walked into the doctor's room.

Possibly not everyone's best option but it served me well.

15/10/2003 at 13:43
it isnt a last chance
its a new beginning

and remember, if you dont ge on with the shrink, you can ask for another opinion
Good luck
15/10/2003 at 14:20
Thanks, you lot.

Mrs P - I think I might well manage that today!

PH, yep, it's just hard to see it that way. And the waiting list is about a year long - I think I got in on a cancellation. :-(

Good to know that you care. :-)
15/10/2003 at 14:21
yes i do

so e mail if you need
15/10/2003 at 14:35
Hey up, Swerve.

Don't worry, just answer the questions truthfully and you'll be okay. If it helps write down how you've been feeling before you get there then you've something to go from.
Some one told me to print off something I'd written on here one day and take that (was it you Hippo or BB?).

btw don't relax and try to be calm, be like you normally are.

We're here if you need to talk.
15/10/2003 at 20:22
Evening all.

It went OK - apparently I am easily bonkers enough for the NHS. Quite an accolade, really. Long waiting list though.

Thanks for the support.
15/10/2003 at 21:27
hey wow
officially bonkers!
takes summat in the NHS

seriously, i do hope it helped
16/10/2003 at 05:06
Nice one Swerve (I think???). Hope they can provide the help you want/need.
16/10/2003 at 05:27
Why can't I sleep tonight? This isn't good, I can't put a positive light on this. I've been awake since 2:15, so got about 4 hours sleep and now starting to get headache. Though the head might be hunger I suppose by now.

Got lots of bits of song lyrics running through my mind, not many of them bright and cheerful but some quite thoughtful ones.

Something needs to change in my life, but I don't know what. I can't keep going like this, I just feel so down at the moment. Maybe I'll go to work early, then leave early as well, in effect move the day round a bit since I'm already up. Not sure I can think in the sort of lines needed.

I'm rambling.

Supposed to go to the doctor's tonight, but its not my GP so I think I'm going to rearrange it to next week. Don't want to have to explain why I'm there.

Need to get a grip on my drinking habbits, dropped back into too much coffee and too many nights with more units of alcohol than is good. At least I've stopped snacking on the biscuits this week.

Its going to be a long day, but I need to look at it differenly, its no good being negative like this. Make things happen at work and focus on the issues.


...why bother?

Will it make a difference?
Will I feel any achievement?
Will I feel happy to return to my family afterwards?

Answer to all those is "No", so why bother? Who cares and I don't mean about me/myself, but about my life and my impact on the rest of humanity? what an I worrying about, I don't have "impact" i'm just another cog in the system. Do I want to be important? no, not really cos then people will see me, its nice being hidden away as a cog. but.... people do depend on me being there...

I'd cry but there's no reason. I'd laugh but there's no joke. I'd die but that's the fool's way out. So I keep on living and all there is, is hope.
16/10/2003 at 05:53
TITLE Sit Down

ALBUM · James (1990)

I’ll sing myself to sleep
A song from the darkest hour
Secrets I can’t keep
Inside of the day
Swing from high to deep
Extremes of sweet and sour
Hope that God exists
I hope I pray

Drawn by the undertow
My life is out of control
I believe this wave will bear my weight
So let it flow

Oh sit down
Sit down next to me
Sit down, down, down, down, down
In sympathy

Now I’m relieved to hear
That you’ve been to some far out places
It’s hard to carry on
When you feel all alone
Now I’ve swung back down again
It’s worse than it was before
If I hadn’t seen such riches
I could live with being poor
Oh sit down
Sit down next to me
Sit down, down, down, down, down
In sympathy

Those who feel the breath of sadness
Sit down next to me
Those who find they’re touched by madness
Sit down next to me
Those who find themselves ridiculous
Sit down next to me
Love, in fear, in hate, in tears


Oh sit down
Sit down next to me
Sit down, down, down, down, down
In sympathy

Oh sit down
Sit down next to me
Sit down, down, down, down, down
In sympathy

16/10/2003 at 07:02
Go and see that doctor
16/10/2003 at 07:05

go see the doc

sweet things sometimes help in the night - tea and biscs &c

you're having a horrid time, you need to be very very kind to yourself. It will come to an end, and there will be more good times.

16/10/2003 at 08:16
Staggers (sorry if I've missed this........) are you seeing a therapist?
16/10/2003 at 08:23

Possibly stubborn, but need to get some thoughts in order before adventuring back in to therapy land.......
16/10/2003 at 08:26
With all due respect (which means I'm about to disagree with you :-).........

the therapy is to help you get your thoughts in order.

To do it the way round you suggest is like hiring a cleaner but cleaning the house before she comes because you don't want her to see it in a mess!
16/10/2003 at 08:27
I agree with sassie on this one

You arent really coping with this on your own at the mo are you
16/10/2003 at 08:42


Sort of

At times

There are some good days, its bad today because I'm tired.

16/10/2003 at 08:46
stop making excuses
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