Anti-depressants & training

also appear to be suffering from strange repetition symptoms! :-S

not Farting Like Reindeer I hope?

Sorry about the sleep, which, as you know is a hideous part of the bundle

Don't want to sound like amatuer shrink (cos am not THAT sort of psychologist) but you are very hung up on why this has happened?

When was v bad myself was told "just to be" and other things that were deeply unhelpful, but to some degree I can see why. To some extent do you have to accept that it has happened and leave yourself space to get better? Work stress and sleep deprivation would be enough to push most of us over the edge after all.

Yes, the collapse comes when the pressure eases off a bit - I think thta's a classic isn't it? As a migraine sufferer it certainly sounds unsurprising to me?

Well, I did get back to sleep and got 3 more hours or so. But before I slipped off, I managed for the first time in ages to go into a deep relaxation state - I used to be able to do self-hypnosis and found that very good for shifting out the stress.

And I got out for a run - ok run might be pushing the term a bit but no-one walking actually passed me. I did 9.5K, it felt further and raised a few questions which will give me something to work on during other runs.

FLR, yes I am focusing a lot of "why?" but that is so I can handle the causes. At the moment I can't just draw a line through everything and just go forward from here. Do that and I'm leaving things to come back at me later, better to resolve now (even if I don't feel good about) I think. I think I'll be more honest with myself than I would be if I was feeling "normal".

I have to admit its not been a bad day. I've felt in control, tired (unsurprisingly) but definitely in good shape and no brittleness. Getting out and running helped, plus I've had plenty to do, so plan for tomorrow is to go back to using good old time management techniques and ensure I know what and when for the week.

Planning a long weekend away sans kids in a few weeks, which is going to help refresh the parental feelings.

Slept ok last night, but woken up tired today. A bit of bounce to start the day but reasonably quiet now - not down, just peaceful. Not much "get up and go" but better than total lethargy.

Haven't done my work list yet - putting it off by any chance I wonder?

Well didn't do too bad this morning. I managed to concentrate and write a short document, but this afternoon the tank is empty. I'll see if there's something else I can do...

I don't know what it is with me today, I staggered out of bed and genreally feel like I've had no sleep. Not wanting to make Jj jealous but I was asleep before 10:30, woke once briefly and slept till about 5:45. No other reasons, sniffles, coughs, colds, copious quantities of alcohol to explain the feeling of being completely knackered.

I need to get more focus at work before I start not wanting to come in because in all honesty I'm a waste of space and doing very little real work. Nothing positive to say about the effects of the Prozac yet other than I don't feel any worse.

Will try to go for a run tonight, but I'm not hopeful at the moment, because last night I was too tired to have gone.

How long have you been on Prozac for? If, after a few months, you still don't feel any positive effects go back to the GP and ask to be put on something else.

I was on citalopram for a couple of months, then put onto Seroxat for some months and have been on Efexor XL (venlafaxine) for nearly 2 months. This last one definitely seems better.

I have days where I don't feel as though I've slept, despite the opposite being true. Maybe it's just your brain chemicals playing tricks on you. Take things easy and try to get out for a run later. I'm going to go for a gym session at lunchtime which will make me feel better. I'm also feeling quite tired today despite having about 8 hours sleep, although I could still be catching up with the sleep I missed during the last 2 weeks whilst doing my fitness consultant's course.

CC

I'm jealous.


:o)



((((((((staggers coz I haven't hugged you yet today)))))))))

Hi Staggers,

You've got to get some help. I swore that I would never repeat this, but it may help you. I'm not going to talk to anybody about this after I've written it, I just hope it can help you and show you that things do get better. I went through a bad phase and am now fairly over it, but as I've said before I am stronger.
Whilst i was at Uni. I had two very bad experiences. I was attacked by a man who is now in jail for GBH, and one of my best friends died in a railway incident. I have not got a supportive family and prior to that had lost my father and grandad due to cancer. I was about to start my first job when I was hit by an OAP doing 60 in a 20mph zone. Spent some time in hospital. Had to walk and cycle to a near by new job which I hated because I was afraid to drive. Become anorexic. Got enough money saved up to get another car. Got on to a teacher training course at Bath. With in two weeks,whilst stationary,I got hit by a tractor and trailer. Result in hospital for a few months. Treatment 3 years. Got another awfull job as I was too scared to drive. Got made redundant as I was the last in. Got another job with a company that was about to go under, everone was asked to leave for good Christmas 01. Felt absolutely awful, and my health was really suffering. I had patches of hair on my head missing, looked very under weight size 8 was a little baggy on me. I'm 5'8".
I had friends that would listen to me, but after a while they were getting really worried. The reason being is that you can talk to your friends, and this may make you feel better for a short time, but ultimately it doesn't help you if you are talking to the wronge people. My friends just didn't know what to do. They didn't know what advise to give me, they couldn't relate to what I was saying. I wanted to put them in my shoes so they could feel the words coming out of my mouth, not just listen to descriptions of my emotions. It was a viscious circle and I just couldn't see a way out of it. Eventually you do come to a point where you say enough is enough. I'm going to sort this out other wise it really is going to take over or take my life. It is horrible when you are stuck in a dark place and for the life of you, yopu can't see the light at the end of the tunnel.
I went to see a doctor. He didn't understand. I came out feeling awful. I spoke to my best friend, who had also introduced me to running (that's another story) who convinced me to go back. I saw another doctor who was absolutely brilliant. I started talking to him and he was just amazing.
He booked me in for an appointment with a psychiatrist and nutritionalist and with a specialist who dealt with Post Traumatic Stress Syndrom.
It changed my life. I was speaking to the right people. People that understood. My doctor put me on some medication which also helped my depression. It wasn't an overnight change. It was just enough of a step in the right direction to slowly progress and make life more tolerable. The running and fresh air helped a lot. Friends and people are good, but when it comes to depression, the best way of helping yourself is to get the proper attention from experienced qualified people. I've said this before and it needs drumming in. DEPRESSION IS A VERY SERIOUS ILLNESS it needs the proper, correct attention. My advice / experience is to keep in contact with your doctor, ask to see someone qualified to speak to - it really does make a big difference. If you don't feel up for a run, still go out-side and power walk in the fresh air. Above all please go and seek the right sort of help. You will be much better for it.
I wish you all the best of luck in the world in getting over depression. You can do it.
Just remember you are a very important person, work hard and deserve to live a happy and full filling life with your family. :o)

I'm due back at the GP in two weeks to check progress.

Talking about it is difficult because I'm shy and quite private so I need to be feeling some confidence before I can do that - sounds strange in some ways, but that was how things worked best before. When I went to the pychiatrist before, his last question at the end of the first sesion was can you talk to me? And that summs it up, at the moment I don't feel I can talk to anyone - this thread is the best way I have of working some thoughts out of my mind. And I come back to re-read them ...

I do take a lot of comfort from the way other people come here and give me support, plus the fact as Het said so many people have been in a similar mental state. Reading some of these posts, I feel a right wuss - and before anybody shouts at me, I'm quite aloud to feel that the problems I perceive in my life are less than other people have gone though. It doesn't make me feel like I should be coping better than I am, it makes me see that other people can go through worse and get stronge again. And if they can, I can. And will.

Yes.
You can and you will.

:o)

ET

Thank you for sharing that with us, I feel very honoured!

I happened to see a different GP after being on the Seroxat for a while and ended up with a referral to a psychiatrist, who changed the medication.

You are right - it is important to speak to the correct people with the experience in depression and related illnesses.

My depression comes from coping with going back to work after having my 2 boys, plus dealing with their mild special needs (one has ADHD - awaiting referral for medication and the other has Aspergers Syndrome). Both are very mild and I feel guilty for being depressed at not coping with them when I see other people who have children with more severe needs who seem to be coping fine! I haven't run properly for some months and must get back into it.

My father is also a manic depressive, who leans on me more than my mum (who is in denial I think!), which doesn't help matters.

Don't let your training become a source of stress either, Staggers. Just enjoy them. After all, we all started running to get fit and because "we enjoy it"!

CC who should practise what she preaches more often!!

I'm glad that you are in contact with your GP. Keep up with it. Are you going to try and see a different pyschiatrist? It may be worth a try.
Keep up with the exercise and fresh air it really does help.
I wish you had someone you could talk to on a one-to-one; may be you'll be able to in the future.

ET, it'll need to be a different one! The last time was 16 years ago in Nottingham, which could be a bit far for consultations.

I wouldn't describe my feelings as honoured reading your post, more amazed/impressed that you could share that with everyone else who reads this thread. That is an indication of how much you are over it and strong.

CC, just re-read your post,

I hate exercise! I need to do some because I spend too much of the day sat down, eat too much, drink too much and need to keep up with two energetic boys.

But I also know it is doing me good for stress relief, I can't stay uptight when the choice is relax and breathe or stay tense and collapse in an untidy heap (which would also be very embarassing)!

And like a lot of people with depression and men having a mid-life crisis, I have a lowish body image, so I'm convincing myslef to get some exercise to help with that as well.

I run against the clock to get a measure of improvement, but since I've never been really fit and the mid-life bit is reasonably accurate, I'm not hung up about beating it (I think). It might be different in a race, but out on my own its more a case of "30 minutes exercise is supposed to be good and more is better, so keep going a bit long". I tend to try a run a bit quicker by lamp posts - i.e. when I get to that lamp post I'm going to run hard for the next three lamps, etc.

Well I did get out and run tonight, so I'm feeling good about myself. Did 5k in 33 mins which is not too bad, decided that I don't like hills.

Must be feeling better tonight cos I'm giving over people advice!

Glad you got out, Staggers. I must confess that I don't like hills either (despite doing mostly offroad races - usually quite hilly!).

I'm sorry if my earlier post irritated you somewhat. I don't think I put my point across very well. I just didn't want you to get stressed if you missed a run but, by the same token, I didn't want you to feel stressed if a run hadn't gone as well as you'd wanted it to.

I'm very good at the "open mouth insert foot" syndrome. Thousands of apologies.

CC

CC no need to appologise, I know where you're coming from. Its a case of I do the running for a reason, its not real pleasure to me. But I know its good for me in different ways, and need to make sure I don't find reasons not to go.

A bit of a catch 22 really!

Take care.

thankyou for your post ET





staggers
How about finding an exercise you DO enjoy