Mental illness and running

I wanted a place where we could get advice and support.

241 to 260 of 6,031 messages
12/04/2012 at 20:38
My hubby took that. It certainly knocked him out and sent him a bit dolally but I've seen other people do brilliantly on it. I really hope it makes things better for you.
Weight gain is horriblewhen you feel so rough about yourself. I would say that my mum ballooned to 17st when she was at her worse, and is now 10 st. She had to wait until the medication wad working and she could do something about her weight in a controlled, positive way rather than 'punishing herself'. I have a feeling you'll know what I mean, but if you don't I apologise.
I think that anyone who can articulate how they are feeling and is willing to share that is incredibly brave and strong!
12/04/2012 at 21:25
Big D I'm not ignoring your powerful post am just not quite alert enough to do it justice.

I've been on Quetiapine for years, I hate it but I've learned to live through the anti psychotic haze. The emergency psychiatrist upped the dose and I can't cope with the high level. I think he was wrong. He upped the dose to help with sleep (though I told him that wasn't a problem) and to make up for the Sertraline which made me paranoid and anxious. We've added Duloxetine for the anti depressant and sleep was fine so I think I should be able to return to my usual dose. I wasn't having a psychotic episode I went to jump off a bridge cos therapy has caused extreme flashbacks and turned my present into a traumatic nightmarish whirl. I hate being scared all the time but I don't want to be replaced by a zombie either.
I do understand what you mean about the punishment thing, weirdly its running that's pulling me off the wrong track even though I'm not doing it. I decide not eating is easier then realise if I don't I'll get stuck in it for a week or two (cos I always do) which would jeopardise my return to running.
Today has been the worst for a while but mostly cos I've gained more awareness - my thoughts are frantic, sad and loud rather than absent. Maybe that's progress of sorts.

Thanks so much for the support x
12/04/2012 at 21:35

SOLB

That's OK! Take your time.

As you can see - Sometimes I post more than a couple of words.

12/04/2012 at 21:40

Aww SOLB, I'm sorry to hear today's not a good day. I've just made tea, but don't have any biscuits. I might consider giving you the last piece of my mum's shortbread, it is amazing.

I think you are brave and strong, criticism or feelings won't change that. You might not feel it, but if there's one thing I know about you it's that you've got guts girl! Sometimes it's about surviving right here and now rather progress. You can't make progress if you're dead!

Take care,

Ben

12/04/2012 at 22:02
No I don't suppose so but I don't think it hurts for as long either, one splatt is quicker than years of dragging yourself through therapy. Don't worry no bridges tonight, I'm too lazy.
14/04/2012 at 07:33
I'm considering going for a jog *shudders at the profanity of the j word* am not sure if I can find the motivation or the bravery to a) see how badly my running gear fits (or not as the case may be) b) go outside where people are and c) get seen jogging and heaving on the Ventolin ...... tea first then decide or catapult out of bed and just do it
14/04/2012 at 07:44
Try a walk/jog plan. See how it goes. Your running shoes should still fit! If it goes well, you'll be justifiably proud. If you don't go as far as you planned - don't worry. You have got yourself organised and outside! well done
14/04/2012 at 08:16
excellent point well made with regards to running shoes
I've got my answer, am still dizzy so gonna have to have breakfast first then head out
14/04/2012 at 11:15
The jogger has returned

By 'eck your wise counsel is now my Facebook status.

My lungs hurt, my ears feel funny, my calves are complaining and I feel happier
14/04/2012 at 13:13

Awesome news SOLB, good job!

I'm glad you're feeling happier .

14/04/2012 at 13:37
I'm hoping to get to the gym later for a treadmill run. Not my favourite thing, but it's the only option I have today.
You fb too SOLB?
14/04/2012 at 19:16
Hello SOLB,
I hope you're not joggerphobist some of use are aspiring to be able to say I went for a 5k jog this morning
I've managed to hurt my hip while asleep. most peculiar. I finished the
Olympic Park run. Walked twice joint probs so me not happy bunny. The route was good, one lap and not too hot, wouldn't like to do it in hot weather as no shade at all, perhaps they will plant loads of trees once Games are over.
'Twas good thing I wasn't eating when I read by 'ecks post about broken biscuits made me laugh so much couldn't get me breath. Tomorrow I plan to plod may even reach jogging pace, I will think of you real runners.
Hugs to you all

15/04/2012 at 01:37
nope not really curlyplodder, just appealing to the masses. I'm helping my Mum get into running and am quite literally beaming with pride every time she adds another 60 secs running onto her run-walk programme, I know how hard it's been for her to get out there and get started and I think I appreciate the achievements that she hasn't even spotted yet.

Ouch to the hip, either you've been rather athletic in your sleep or you've been lying strangely lets hope for the latter and that it sorts itself out soon. Must have been frustrating when the joint probs forced a walk but still you finished the Olympic park run, so that's 3.5k more than me and 5k more than most

Can I come for a virtual plod with you tomorrow? I'm planning on repeating exactly the same one mile jog, I don't care about the distance or the speed just relieved to catch some endorphins ... I stayed cheerful for 5 hours today on the back of the run, the gloom kinda caught me up but it's not the same if you have a plan to chase it away again; even hope for temporary relief is still hope

How did the treadie run go by 'eck? I have to confess to being useless on a treadmill. I can't handle being able to just get off and stop .. it makes me pathetic and I decide I just can't go on, a thought that doesn't occur when I'm miles from home!

Yes I'm on FB too, though to be honest I only post utter drivel. It demonstrates a major sugar addiction, an aptitude for stating the obvious in a convoluted way and shows the whole world how very supportive & lovely my friends are. I'll gladly add you if you like, but I can guarantee you'll be bored within about 5 minutes on my profile

Ben-o thank you so much for your support, meant a lot that you cared

I really must get some sleep but I'm too tired if that makes any sense. gonna just try to read for a bit. I am naughtily not taking the increased anti-psychotics am taking my old dose and will talk to my therapist about it on Monday. I just can't cope with the zombie pills and I think hope has caught me unawares so no need to be sedated to prevent bridge hopping.

Yawn

15/04/2012 at 14:11
Hello SOLB, your welcome to join me on virtual plod anytime. I was weak willed today and stopped after 1.72miles, boredom set in I need someone to distract me. Hope to shove myself out this evening and do couple of miles, perhaps plod to gym and do weights, bus it back.

Treadmills are hell in my gym crap air conditioning so only use them for 12min HIT hill sessions no hills nearby.

Can you get your shrink to agree to you adjust your dose as needed?

At least you post stuff on FB all I do is play Farmville passes the time when unable to sleep doesn't take to much concentration great for jelly brain and can enlarge screen when meds have messed up vision. Im waiting for a Windows 7 compatible Scrabble to come out, had it on my old computer but that was Vista.

Hope you got some good sleep
15/04/2012 at 21:42

Ooh, can I get in on the FB drivel?

Curly, I can't believe you're calling youself weak-willed when you A) Go running B) Go running twice in one day C) And then possibly go the gym and do weights! That's hardcore! I struggle to even motivate myself to go for a run.

If anyone's interested, there's an inquiry into the diagnosis of schizophrenia and anyone can have their say: Schizophrenia Inquiry

I hope everyone's had a good weekend.

18/04/2012 at 21:35
Thanks curlyplodder, will have to be virtual plods for a little bit. I have managed to faint a few times in the last few days, it’s not particularly dramatic, I’m not out for long and I don’t feel too dreadful but it does make running a little irresponsible (I may do it anyway we know how stubborn I am!!)

The inquiry is interesting Ben-o, I had a little nosey but didn’t have anything useful to contribute!

How are you all getting on? I feel mean I’ve been neglecting you over the last few days. I have been pretty rubbish though I’m feeling better this evening.

My therapist and I are in a tricky position she doesn’t feel it is safe to carry on with therapy but I don’t feel it is safe not to. She is worried that the stuff we are talking about will make me feel unsafe and that because I feel unsafe at home there is too much risk in doing it. I feel like we are in checkmate, I can’t change the home situation, I can’t change the past and I can’t get back my coping mechanisms any faster (running mostly, awaiting more tests spirometry and heart trace) From my point of view I can’t bear for things not to change and the only thing I can change in all this is me, therefore the only thing that can possibly move is therapy. She sort of agrees but is genuinely concerned. I feel a bit guilty that’s a lot of responsibility for her, she is continuing cautiously against her better judgement.

Medwise we’ve doubled the anti-d’s I haven’t had chance to ask about reducing the antipsychotics but I am still taking my normal dose and haven’t fallen apart.

Hoping you’re all oK, you’ve been quiet while I’ve been sulking in the corner

xxx
18/04/2012 at 21:39
(((((SOLB))))))
I was wondering how things were going. I'm so sorry to hear things are so tough.
Have they changed your diagnosis recently?
18/04/2012 at 21:41
They are fighting about it
18/04/2012 at 22:01

Hmm SOLB, that's tough about therapy. But I think you're the one who has the make the call at the end of the day. You're the one who'll know when it's too much and when it's ok. After all, you keep yourself going between sessions. So you must be coping in some way, right? Even if it doesn't feel like it.

I suppose it's also about just talking about it and what you need. I have everything faith in you that you know what the right thing for you is.

As for diagnosis...ugh, just why?

18/04/2012 at 22:12
Thanks Ben-o, I appreciate that it's risky but I think if we do nothing then there's a 100% chance of suicide cos I know that I can't cope now and there's no hope of anything else changes it's completely outside of my control - if we try and move forwards then whatever the percentage risk it's less than right now cos at least I'm pushing through until next week to give it a try.

It's hope for change and if it's too much for me I don't see how we've lost anything. My therapist is brilliant, she is very, very experienced and knows what she is doing. I know why she is worried but I think it's the only chance I have. Luckily (after pulling some 'OMG I'm not sure about this' faces!) she has agreed to give it a go.

Diagnosis is very annoying, I moved to a different area so got a new team. The new team immediately thought the old diagnosis was rubbish (which it is) so we have been working with the new one which makes a lot more sense. However, after the homeless saga I was forced to move somewhere that is just over the border and technically back in the old team. That means that my day to day care; therapy, OT, Key Worker etc are all in the new place and the Crisis Team and emergency Psychiatrist belong in the old team. The Crisis Team and emergency psychiatrist are sticking to their original diagnosis and the new team are adamant that they are right with the new one. They are all getting together for a meeting about it on Monday and I have to go I don't want to but I'm not allowed to skive off it even though it sounds horrible.

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