Mental illness and running

I wanted a place where we could get advice and support.

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22/04/2012 at 18:19
Hello beebs, welcome

Ha ha I love your naughty meeting strategies ... I will happily indulge in a nice game of opposites and topic bingo, don't worry I'll post the ward visiting times so you can come and visit once I get sectioned! (you can come lots if you get the sack for playing too Ben-o)

A week of suspense is a very long time Big D

Ha ha I like the thought of SOLB being fabulous though I'm not sure how accurate it is.

The creepy neighbour has just stood on the new plants we put out in the garden in front of my window - I don't know why he has to stand so close anyway, luckily the plant looks a little crumpled but is otherwise unharmed. Once we have all the bedding plants in he wont be able to casually walk all over the flower bed to stand so near to my window any way

I have eaten today and I've been playing with my beautiful nieces - I struggled at the park but had a lovely time reading stories and stuff when we got home. I love those girls

I'm sleepy now but it's a long way until bedtime and the small ones bring with them lots of laughter and lots of mess so I suppose I should probably get the hoover out.

I've just realised I still have Cbeebies on; lucky the crisis team aren't coming out today to see me covered in mud and cake watching children's TV
22/04/2012 at 20:24

Well, I feel I ought to visit as I did start to suggest mischevious strategies.

SOLB, why does your neighbour stand near your window? He does sound creepy (or crrepy as I wrote first time).

I'm glad you had a lovely day  (I'm not surprised other people think you're fabulous). Family are great and little ones even more so. I have a niece and she is beautiful.

22/04/2012 at 20:29
I don't have any nieces or nephews cos my brother is still doing the young, free and single thing, but I do have 2 of my own. They really do bring such joy to my life (and challenges).
22/04/2012 at 20:43
No idea why the neighbour does that, he is always out there. Very odd.

I love the small ones but I couldn't cope all the time. I'm in awe of parents (truly), kids are incredible. My twin sister has two girls a spirited 4 year old and a very chilled 10 month old - I love those girls so much it's ridiculous but I've really let them down since the youngest was born. I always used to be the elder girls best friend, we had so much fun but I barely see them now cos I feel like I can't cope. Tis really sad, I miss them so much I even dream of hugging them. That said we still have a fabulous time when we do meet and hopefully I'm going to start getting better now.

How old are your little ones by 'eck?

22/04/2012 at 21:29


I have time to report now, before I do the unbolting of the kitchen sink so I can pack it (joking I hope)

I got to the church in plenty of time, but the guy on the projector wanted to be able to show how Paul, who was doing London actually did, (5h37m) so I spent a few mins helping him get set up. Which meant that by the time I was set up, I already had an audience to rehearse to. Which actually helped calm my nerves a bit.

When time to perform came I did OK, not great, but OK. some notes needed a bit more oomph than I gave them. Then it was time to put the guitar down and sing. The words were being projected, and congregation joined in which meant I could relax a bit.

A friend of ours who is in a local band had turned up, and he wants to work with me on this and put in a harmonica part. Could be good.

Mrs BD's sermon was awesome! (prodigal son) I was nearly in tears several times. We just keep on screwing up and all God wants is for us to come home. Sniff!

Take care everyone - I must go and pack, now where is that spanner?

Nearly forgot - Hi beebs - waves .

Edited: 22/04/2012 at 21:32
23/04/2012 at 08:08
Sorry SOLB, my phone just would not let me post last night.
Daughter is 8 and a half and son is 2. My brother spends a lot of the year in Canada and can't cope with too much of daughter when he is around (he has OCD) so concentrates on spending short amounts of quality time with her - like making an Easter egg, walking to the shops or snuggling on the sofa to watch a tv program.
23/04/2012 at 11:11

Sounds like it went really well Big D, that's good to hear. And great that you got such good support!

SOLB, your niece is only 4, you've got so much more time ahead of you to be the best aunty! I know you can't make up for the time, but being there in the present is the important thing. I don't see my niece that often (I wish I could see her more) and although I know I'm missing out on her life, there's still plenty of her life I can be involved in. I usually win the best uncle competition by being generally awesome.  

By 'eck, an 8 and 2 year old must be a handful! I just don't think I have the patience.

23/04/2012 at 17:02
So SOLB, how did all your appointments and meetings go today? *crosses fingers that SOLB was a good patient and did not get sectioned*
23/04/2012 at 17:21

*waves back at Big D*

Evening Ben-o.

A friend of mine was telling me in hushed tones how the mother of one of her children's friends had had to be sanctioned for her own safety, it was so hard not to laugh. 

The tap at work says SOLO on it but I always read it as SOLB

23/04/2012 at 17:58

Hey beebs

Haha! Sanctioned is very different, though I suspect it would actually improve your mental health. It'd be cool if someone in a white coat came along and gave people a badge which said "I'm doing great!", instead detaining them.

SOLB has her own range of taps? Impressive.

23/04/2012 at 18:01
Beebs, thats brilliant. My daughter told everyone I was in a special hospital cos I couldn't decide what socks to wear
23/04/2012 at 18:07

: by eck that is so sweet, 

I told you she was fab, Ben-o. 

23/04/2012 at 19:44
*wonders whether the kitchen sink is still in the kitchen at Big D’s house!*
I bet your audience thought your performance was fab, OK when referring to self always equals brilliant to any objective observers! Fantastic news about your friend and the harmonica, sounds like a lot of fun.
Glad Mrs D excelled

Aww you have a big baby and a little one by ‘eck – I’ll hope to develop that sort of acceptance re my time with my beautiful nieces. Sounds like your brother has a fantastic balance.

Thanks for asking about the appointments today. They went pretty well, the scary meeting wasn’t so bad. My CPN forgot to tell the Crisis Team the time and location of the meeting so they weren’t there…DUH! I am being discharged from the Crisis Team (yay) and am carrying on with therapy + OT for now. The good news is my not so reliable CPN is moving to a new area so I’m going to get a new one who will be ‘more’ involved. (for more read ‘at all involved’) I am allowed to stay at the new mental health trust even though I’ve moved just over the border. I may have to move GP’s at some point in the future but it means I don’t have to fight about the diagnosis.

After resolving to get on with therapy last week to break the stale mate we had a productive session, it freaked me out a bit but it’s powerful and it’s progress.

Ha ha ha to being sanctioned (approval or punishment?), maybe that’s what would have happened to me if I’d misbehaved in the meeting today – instead of just being naughtily quiet and refusing to look up from my shoelaces (nawty solb)

I am deeply honoured that I pop up at work beebs - I feel special now.

By ‘eck that’s very cute – I’m lucky they don’t really put people in hospital for not being able to choose socks … did I mention that I love socks????? *looks devastated at the plain grey socks adorning her tootsies*

Ahhh beebs I’ll buy you some cake with the commission from the sale of my taps

I've spent the afternoon hugging spotty dog, I bought him a new teddy made of rope - I told him teddy was for loving not for killing ... teddy has no legs and only one ear
23/04/2012 at 20:30
Sadly not being able to choose socks was a sign of how poorly I was. I was so worried about making the wrong decision that I didn't make any.
CPN's are, on the whole, not worth the effort. They move around too much, are so full of book learning or years of what is wrong with the system that they forget we are people too.
23/04/2012 at 20:51
Aww darling that's tough, so glad things have improved for you.

I've only had one CPN before this one and she was lovely. We were stuck in a bit of a rut but she did her best. This one was really rubbish but he's a manager not a proper CPN, he was too busy (and too callous.) Am hoping that I can make some progress with the new person.

It's horrible that you had such a hard time with the CMHT. I was told today that they are being rebranded Recovery Centres (sounds like corporate bullsh*t but we'll see.)
23/04/2012 at 20:58
(offers SOLB the use of her Tibbles cat to stroke)
If my daughter were here, she would tell you that all people have things in their lives that worry them, but it is the strong and wise people who talk about them.
Moo (my son) would probably climb onto your lap, put his cheek against yours, and stroke your back as he murmured 'ahhhh'
23/04/2012 at 21:07
Your family sound wonderful by 'eck, an 'ahhh' some very wise words and a purring cuddle sound pretty idyllic right now.

I'm so relieved today is done, I was so busy feeling vulnerable and carp after therapy I forgot to notice how good it is that the meeting is done and that the therapist and OT are so firmly on my side

I am very tired but bed feels a bit lonely tonight
23/04/2012 at 21:23
Everyone needs a teddy. Seriously, it is proven to help poorly children and babies. Even animals will curl up with something
Glad your meeting went well and you can now move forward
23/04/2012 at 21:28

Recovery centres? That's ridiculous, but unsurprising.

By Eck,  you're family sound lovely and your daughter is very wise herself!

I'm glad the meeting went well today SOLB and that you noticed the positives, I'm terrible for that.

23/04/2012 at 21:37
Next time I get a teddy I'll try not to sacrifice it to spotty dog *feels guilty about teddy's last 30 minutes* Perhaps my hugless state is my punishment for it's terrible ordeal.

It is ridiculous Ben-o if I hadn't been staring at my trainers any way I'd have had to look away to hide the smirk. Hope they aren't wasting pennies they could spend helping people to recover on rebranding all the stationary!

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