Mental illness and running

I wanted a place where we could get advice and support.

3,401 to 3,420 of 6,061 messages
01/12/2012 at 19:34
Awwwww, my cats chase things in their sleep too. Its really sweet unless you are trying to sleep next to them
01/12/2012 at 21:02

Well I managed another decent run today at my orienteering event.  A very muddy one though.  I don't mind getting muddy but it usually stops me from doing any decent running but I seemed to manage OK.  Need to be able to keep running uphill though.  Main thing was though I can say I enjoyed it which all too often lately I haven't been doing.  Keep taking the tablets methinks.  Would be nice if  I could get out running tomorrow.  One of the running groups does a Sunday run but it's at 8.30 in the morning.  Not the best time of day for me so I'll aim at a solo attempt at a more civilised hour.

01/12/2012 at 21:57

I agree about the more civilised solo run. 
I went out for the 32 minuter but stopped when asthma objected to the cold, I think I left it a bit late.

I'm really, really cold (house is freezing) time for bed. Night all x 

01/12/2012 at 22:20

Well done for trying.  There's always another day - and hopefully a less chilly one for you.

02/12/2012 at 11:54

Feeling tired but positive today. I have a plan at least  

I am determined to give swimming my very best shot today, I know it's a massive ask and it really might be too much but I'm starting to feel frustrated and a bit helpless and trapped. Might as well channel that frustrated anger out and try to do something with it rather then let it go inwards. If OCD wins I will be sad but not surprised. 

 game face is well and truly on! 

02/12/2012 at 12:02

Go for it SOLB.  I've got two hours in which to get off my lazy backside, clean and tidy the house a bit then get out for a run before it gets dark.  Sunsets before 16.00 certainly don't make things easy for me.

02/12/2012 at 13:57
Good luck LR ... can you not run then clean up cos the housework doesn't mind if it's dark

Ok I'm off for a swim *wibble*
02/12/2012 at 14:06


02/12/2012 at 14:39

*crosses arms, taps foot and gives Bear a stern look*

Drunken posting?  Burnt muffins?  Feeling confused?  Hmm, I don't remember those conversations.  I drive all that way to make sure you are ok.  Not much point in me coming if you don't talk to me.

Or was that when I was in a drunken haze on the sofa

02/12/2012 at 16:38

The housework doesn't mind if it's dark but I do - I tend to go into shutdown mode.  Also if I try to go for a run before I've done the other jobs that doesn't work.  As it turned out even doing it my way didn't work out.  I drove out of town to some woods as I tend to find it a bit easier where there's less people around.  I then got it in my head that I wasn't going to start whilst there was anyone else in the car park as a good start in crucial.  That co-incided with several people coming and going and 10 minutes later I'd lost my nerve altogether and drove home.  Not good - but then I've had good attempts in the last two days so it is a bit easier to take.  I think it may have been me already getting panicky about facing another week at work tomorrow.  I've been finding getting through each day there difficult.

02/12/2012 at 17:36

Ha haha Bear's in trouuuuble 

I agree you've done pretty well over the last few days LR ad it sounds like things really are very tough at the moment. It's extremely tough when facing people seems too much, but you're doing everything right and it really will improve soon. Hang in there love ... and vent if you need to. We really don't mind, we get it! 

I didn't do very well either. Swimming was too much for the OCD, it's the worst failure I've had so far. I felt exposed and dirty just having got changed. I'd forgotten about feeling vulnerable walking round in a swimming costume. I got half way towards the pool, burst into tears and ran away as though there were lions chasing me I showered for just short of two hours, I've scrubbed my skin off in places and I still feel really dirty ... still going to try again but I feel crappy tonight. 

Never mind it's a nice shiny new week tomorrow. I didn't sleep last night and I feel so tired I'm a bit nauseous, I think that's a good sign cos it means I'm likely to catch some z's tonight and not crash into insomnia  

Will be thinking of you tomorrow LR. 

Frodo when are you off work? 

02/12/2012 at 17:57

Sorry to hear it went so badly but hope you can sleep OK.  Good to see you can still take a positive view of a new week though.  I think I need a decent night's sleep myself.  Although I had a couple of better days before today I still haven't been sleeping well - hence my own late night postings on Friday night.  I was up late and drunk - but not as late or as drunk as 'in trouble' Bear it seems!  Maybe not though - it's just come back to me that I was having one of my 'YouTube' sessions picking out favourite music videos, listening on headphones whilst singing along.  What a delight for the neighbours through the walls! 

Tuesday night's my next attempt at a run.  A couple of friends of mine have started turning up at the running club and I have found that makes it a bit easier turning up if they're around.


02/12/2012 at 18:04
Sorry to hear the swimming was too much, SOLB
I finish on the 19th, so 15 working days left

LR - I totally recognise the feelings you describe, especially about work and running where no one can see me. As the guys on here know, it all got too much for me in the summer, and the only way I could cope was by practically giving up on everything but work so I could concentrate on just getting through each day. Then, when I had some time off, I could put myself back together and build my life again.
02/12/2012 at 18:06

Yeah, we'll get a good nights sleep then hit next week with some (slighty fixed) smiles. 

*sings* Bad bear, bad bear, baaaad bad bear! 

YouTube session sounds quite nice ... though perhaps the neighbours don't agree.

I have a massive 'to do' list tomorrow, most of which needs to be done before I leave for therapy at 9.20 so I'll probably skip running until Tuesday. I feel like I shouldn't but then I'm trying to remember not running doesn't make you a bad person. 

I'm definitely running Tueday cos SOLBsis and I are twins and it's our birthday, we have a traditional birthday run which is usually hillier and longer than anticipated  

I find it easier to get motivated running with people but I don't know anyone who runs regularly in my area and I'm too chicken to approach running clubs. Just got to have faith it'll all come together somehow. I've made more progress in the last 12 months than I ever could have imagined, sometimes I just need to remember that! 

02/12/2012 at 18:08

X-post Frodo. 

I don't have anything particularly profound to say but this seems like a good idea ((((Frodo)))) 

02/12/2012 at 18:25



I wasn't a bad bear

02/12/2012 at 18:27

SCaz told you off so you must have been a nawty bear! 

02/12/2012 at 18:38
Thanks for the hug, ((SOLB)) but it's funny, even with all the sadness and difficulties of the last month, I've not felt half as bad as I did back in June-July time. There was clearly something very much up with me then - I can see that more clearly now

I don't think you've been naughty, Bear. Or that your drunken posting was at all bad
02/12/2012 at 18:41

Bear wasn't very naughty.  I'll probably forgive him in about 2034

02/12/2012 at 18:45
Very tired but happy.
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