Mental illness and running

I wanted a place where we could get advice and support.

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14/12/2012 at 18:09

Evening. I've a tough afternoon and came home from work early, went straight to bed and just woke up. But do you know, I'm really lifted reading of by eck's Christmas and SOLBs purple pony. and sparkly unicorn. It gives me real warm glow and reminds that there are some lovely people in this world. 

I don't know why it went so wrong for me today. I think I might be coming down with a cold but I've been really emotional. One "difficult colleague" ring leader was really nice to me and even touched my arm in a sort of affectionate way and that was it, I just wanted to cry then found myself doubting everything she'd done over the last year and felt guilty for complaining. Had a good chat with my caseworker and I've sorted out the guilt (I feel guilty so easily) and picking up a bit now. I've got to continue focusing on my strengths and successes. She made a really important point about that giving me true belief and confidence in myself, as opposed random positive thinking which can be empty. 

 

14/12/2012 at 18:20

Aww sorry it's been rough Soupy, it's good that you know your limits and you've come home early and had some rest, it's not always easy to admit when things are tough. 

Hmm self confidence and self belief are so hard aren't the?. It's ridiculous that one negative comment said to me a million years ago is still more powerful than a hundred thousand positive ones. Maybe once you believe in your strengths you'll be able to recognise that others do too. 

Here is a super purple pony and a mini  

http://s3.runnersworld.co.uk/members/images/614453/gallery/g.jpg?width=350

 

 

14/12/2012 at 18:28

Lovely photo Solb. The pony obviously wasn't quite purple enough! 

14/12/2012 at 18:34

fab photo

14/12/2012 at 18:40
Gorgeous isn't she? *proud Aunty smile*
Can you guess what mini's favourite colour is?
14/12/2012 at 18:45

when u see a picture like that - it really brings home the meaning of life

bought a tear to my eye

14/12/2012 at 18:51
Super purple pony I love seeing how children create
14/12/2012 at 19:13

SOLB I love your minis - wish I could adpot them as they l;ook fab

 

I actually quite like Crimbo - I'm not a huge participator but I do rather enjoy the sense of warmth, although at times i do feel rather on my own and missing out.  Then again I like my own space to some extent so full on socialising for days on end leaves me wiped out.  Maybe we can have a virtual Crimbo on here

 

I get to see the psych on Wednesday - I think I'm vastly improved but still not sure I'm 100%.  I need to get back to doing my three things daily and remembering to focus on achievements and positive qualities rather than what went wrong like I usually do

14/12/2012 at 22:53

Hi all

Made it through the work christmas do but found it tough going.  Got home early evening and went for a much needed sleep as I was exhausted.  Definitely needed it.

Looks like I set off quite a christmas debate there.  I'm with Bear in that I do like my own space so I find it challenging in that way.  When with family at Christmas I find it a relief to go the toilet as it means I finally get a couple of minutes on my own and just wish it could last longer.  I then feel guilty cos I think I'm being such a misery but I can't help it.  Hibernating's got a lot to be said for it.  I wouldn't begrudge anyone that does enjoy it though as it must light up the darkest (daylight wise) time of year for many.

Definitely approve of miniSOLBs choice of favourite colour.  It's my favourite to the extent that I have to have a car in that colour.

SD - hope you're OK.  Sounds like you've had a tough day.

 

14/12/2012 at 22:58

3 things is good bear, seems to work really, really well for you (plus we get to be bossy then

Christmas debate going strong! I think that's pretty close to spot on, certainly wouldn't begrudge anyone else having a good Christmas but the expectations of being in a wonderfully sunny mood are tough - especially when you end up feeling guilty for not being happy on top! (Me too, though I usually get to see the minis on Christmas morning, and I'm always genuinely happy when they are) 

My favourite colours are orange and yellow - I think I prefer orange but marginally and mood dependent ... SOLBsis' favourite colour is grey I've never heard of anyone else liking grey best

14/12/2012 at 23:02

SOLB - did you make it to the gym OK today?

14/12/2012 at 23:14

I went for a run instead ... bit of a disaster ended up coughing up blood  I have a doctors appointment on Monday to talk about the asthma and stuff so I'll mention it then. I breathed in a whole load of mould dust the other day and I'm wondering if that has caused the blood. 

 

14/12/2012 at 23:16

I'm feeling full of good Christmas cheer all of us sudden. Someone really nice has had their day cheered up by Secret Santa  

14/12/2012 at 23:20

Oh dear.  I think the most important thing right now is that you seem to be able to spend more time with the minis.  They grow up so quick so that's a important part of your progress to be able to so them and give them treats.

Hope the appointment goes OK.

I've got orienteering again in the morning - if I can force myself to decide that it's a better option than exploring the four corners of the duvet.

 

14/12/2012 at 23:24

The 'oh dear' was for the first post - not for the Christmas cheer!

15/12/2012 at 01:03
I agree I'm more pleased at spending time with the minis than anything else. That's how I knew I was better I felt like me again interacting with them.

I meant to be asleep by now but more coughing and more blood I'm not massively concerned but I've never coughed up blood like this before it's a bit creepy when it happens.

Never mind.

Bear I'm so sorry I forgot to check routes for the mundane thingje tomorrow hope you weren't just being too polite to remind me. If it's not too short notice and you can get out towards Oxford I'd happily pick you up (i don't know exactly where you are or how easy the transport system would be ... if you do a Google map from my area to Sheffield it'll show you my rough route and I'm happy to detour to find you.) I completely forgot about route planning, I don't tend to look until the last minute cos I just worry about it if I look early and there's really no point.
15/12/2012 at 08:42
Urghh I forgot to sleep. I'm going to give trying to eat with everyone a miss. It feels too big and public and my OCD is too strong. I want to have fun with everyone not just cope with managing symptoms
Text me if I need to collect a hitchhiker with his paw up on the way. So so sorry I filed it all under don't think about it too much or you won't go.
15/12/2012 at 09:35

Morning. I'm a bit fragile today but a lot better than yesterday. I didn't wake up till 9! I've slept for hours and hours. 

Solb - hope the coughing is sorted. Sounds very unpleasant so good luck at the doctors on Monday. (don't be scared if he sends you for an x-ray, its standard practice for coughing blood and if he/she doesn't then you should ask for one. Most turn out okay so I don't want to panic you but its best to be thorough). 

15/12/2012 at 09:52

SOLB have a good one today and don't worry about trying to eat when out.  I'm sure everyone understands.

SD - hope the sleep has done some good.  My evening sleep just seemed to lead to only half a nights sleep at the right time.  I suppose it adds up to the same but has left me feeling a bit rough this morning.

15/12/2012 at 13:46
Thank you

I'm having a quiet wibble outside of the pub.
It's not something I often talk about and I'm not sure it's wise but I feel like being honest.
I have a history of being severely sexually abused from 3-11 yrs old and my abuser always smelt of alcohol, cigarettes and stale velvet (for some reason) that combined with a 9 hour abduction by my then 'best friend' and his friend where I was abducted from a pub while at uni makes it really hard for me to feel comfortable in pubs.
I'm more scared than I thought I'd be, but I'm going to go in and be all smiles and hope that the mundanies later report that they didn't know I was freaking out.
*deep breaths solb*
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