I wanted a place where we could get advice and support.
hello my darlings...gosh its been a while since I've been in here. Christmas was lovely, a couple of meltdowns and the OCD might have been a bit of an unwelcome houseguest but for the most part I was ok. I have my next shrink session on 9th and my CMHT letter has arrived to confirm I am on the CBT Stage 3 waiting list so I am in the SYSTEM. Phew.
My meds seem to be stabilising me and I'm sort of working out my triggers for OCD to start misbehaving. Today is a classic case. Sat down, there are things that have to be done according to 'mad me' but I'm fighting it. Mainly because I'm in pain and what needs doing is going to hurt but also because I'm trying to challenge myself and change why/how/when I do things. I'll see how long I last though...makes me very twitchy.
PHEW! That feels better....talking about it. wow....
I don't think there are any other magic techniques for OCD - it seems to just be tolerate it and try not to completely lose your sh*t and have to start again and if you can do that enough times you'll start thinking just half of the world will end instead of the whole one and eventually no world ending at all*
*not quite sure that's how my CPN would put it
Glad the rest of life is still good
I lasted all of 30 mins...then I had to do the laundry, and the dishwasher. Feel much better now. Even though it hurt. SOLB, you always makes it make sense....that is exactly what I'm trying to do...not lose it totally and let all the "bad" thoughts take over.
I think a really big change for me was accepting that I shouldn't try to fight all of them at the same time but take one thing at a time. It makes it easier cos you're not overloaded but it's more than that. It meant that all the other rituals and stuff that I was still doing had become a choice. I had chosen to focus on something else and so to keep doing the thing I felt compelled to do but I didn't 'have' to in the same sense - if I'd wanted I could drop the thing I was working on and tackle the other instead. I promise it really does get easier but it's almost impossible when you are trying to carry the weight of not doing any of the rituals or giving in to any of the compulsions all at the same time ...... waaaaaaaay too heavy ducky! It's inevitable you're going to drop it when you're so overloaded, even people without OCD would cave if they tried to do ignore all the things that bothered them all at the same time and not to fix it if they knew how.Lasting 30 minutes is still a win. That's where I had to start. Tolerate it for 5 mins before following the rules, cos learning that nothing bad happens in the 5 minutes (or 30 in your case - wow ) is the first step.
Hello by 'eck. I am lucky in that I have T who is a rock - he helps challenge my behaviours without making me stress out or lose the plot. And when I do stress out and end up giving in, he understands why I'm doing it.
Hope you and Moo and little Miss are doing ok xx
Hi guys! I ran out of time to pop in last night. I had a health MOT which was generally good, but instead of focusing on the things that came up green she has to lecture me about the one in red - obesity. Those that have met me know that I'm not very over weight and I need a bit of body fat to withstand the cold water swimming.
Also had therapy. I'm not realdy to talk about it yet, but it was positive and we are having a few weeks off while I sort things out.
Hi, mimaduck, don't think we've 'spoken' before.
I've had one positive sign. It has been on my mind a lot that a big part of my problems is with not being able to be the same way in real life as I am on this forum. I find it so much easier on a forum to think about things and come up with, hopefully, a constructive and helpful response. One of my other activities that I don't think I've mentioned is a weekly game of five a side football. Last night one of our guys injured his wrist making a save in goal. He felt OK to carry on outfield though. At the end, I went up to him and asked him if it was OK and checked if he was OK to drive himself home. I thought nothing more of it at the time but later it occurred to me that this was just the sort of thing I tend not to do but later think I ought to have done. A mixture of depression, anxiety and shyness keeps me caught up in my own problems. Then when I fail to act in the way I would have wished, that makes me more depressed. What was particularly encouraging was that I wasn't even thinking I ought to make a point of doing it - it just happened. I think 'the real me' just made an unexpected and rare guest appearance.
Evening. I've just got home after a long journey so lovely to see the hugs blanket laid out with various goodies. By eck you are a star. I've had a really lovely time away thanks, and enjoyed my swim this morning. I didn't want to get out of bed but so glad I made the effort when I saw the dawn rising over Whitby Abbey - awsome. I had the pool to myself too so it was bliss.
Hi Mimiduck, sorry you are struggling but well done on the 30mins.
Solb - I love the Sane link, thanks. It has the Black Dog illustrations too and I was looking at that book this week which just summed things up so perfectly.I nearly bought it to help explain to someone what its like.
I'm thinking about a run tomorrow morning. 30mins round my local park. Shall we have a group run?
SOLB...you rock. That is all. xxxxx
That made me do this --- Thank you ducky
Sounds sensible by eck, some guidance or even just reassurance can't do any harm and you're more than entitled to ask for the help
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