Mental illness and running

Morning mr f. You have already contributed loads with that article. It struck such a chord with me as stress was my trigger. I was made to feel totally inadequate at work for breaking down and that article has given me a new focus so thank you. And sometimes its just nice to chat, we don't have to be experts so please hang around. 

*puts kettle on and rummages in back of cupboard for Earl Grey* 

Hmmmm - I haven't dared tell me new colleagues about my difficulties. One of them asked why I was there for 2 months, and if I was a temp but I just said I wanted some varied experience. I might think about sharing some more when I've got to know a few better. I don't want to come accross as needy. 

I wonder if my old colleagues didn't talk to me out of embarrassment too? I didn't think of that, but they were quite nasty too and kept on saying that I didn't work hard enough even though I was doing the same work in less hours than them. Yesterday it was commented on how fast and accurate I type which was reassuring to hear. I'll just have to be carefull not to keep pushing too hard again, I'm obviously not really working slowly, so don't need to go overboard. 

Popping in the say the bleeding obvious.........."the more I run the easier it gets and the more enjoyable it is".  

Thats it. 

Oooh heck all yesterday's excitement has left me pooped!

Bear, put your feet up and take a rest.
solb, yes I am going to follow Soupy and keep you in lower case letters. To answer your question GF food tastes OK but it tends to crumble more than normal stuff, years ago it tasted horrible, so have got used to eating freshly prepared and more natural foods. Although still like  eating biscuits and cakes.

The positive vibes worked, work was OK only had to make a couple of phone calls to get work signed off when completed. Everyone pleased with what I did, so onward and upward as the saying goes.

I would have popped in during the day, but work computers have a block on this site and many more but I can access the BBC News and travel reports for the buses and trains.

Evening Bricki, hope you're doing a bit better today.  Will catch your diary entry later I expect.

Good to see plenty of good vibes around again today.  Mr F - echo what's already been sent really.  Your article certainly gave me plenty to think about, but even if you're just having a bad day, you know you can always talk about your problems on here and, at the very least, there'll be plenty of support and sympathy.

Right, half an hour to get tidied up in here then off to the running club.

Mr F, sometimes we just need to know thatt there are other people there and listening, so even if you have nothing to contribute, the occassional post just to let us know you are listening is enough.

Solb, your texts might be short sometimes, but I'm learning to read between the lines.  I can often tell if you are genuinely ok but don't want to talk.

Bear, well done on going to the class.  It sounds great fun and I hope you can keep it up

Bricki, I confess that I'm not reading your blog.  I don't feel that it is in my own interests at the moment and that is no reflection on you at all.

As for facing up to the workplace.  I had a breakdown a few years ago and had to take 8 weeks off work.  I was not looking forward to going back, particularly as I has been a right bitch to certain people in the week before being taken ill.

In the end I asked for a group meeting at the beginning of the day.  I explained to people that I had been off with stress and that coming back was really hard.  I told them that I wasn't fully better and could be a bit over emotional but that I was on the mend and was able to do my job.  I appologised for being nasty to people and said that I was glad to be back, and that if anyone had any questions at any point then please ask me.

The reception I got was good and all of the team welcomed me back.  I was treated the same as when I left, except that maybe people were a bit careful to keep stressful situations away from me.  The only person who had trouble with me was my boss, and to be fair she was the one mostly responsible for my illness.  I won't go into the details of how I was treated right now, but I had enough grounds to take her to a tribunal for constructive dismissal.  One thing I do want to stress is that only the one person was a problem.  Everybody else was fantastic, and if I'd known then what I know now about life in general, I would have done things differently to help her to understand how to deal with me.

Because of my boss, I felt forced to leave the company so I changed jobs as soon as I could.  In hindsight I'm glad that I did as I had been getting stale there anyway and the new job provided me wwith a lot of new and exciting opportunities.

Good to hear you're had a better day, Bricki.  Did realise you were a goalie as well.  I'll be in action in a cup game tomorrow night against the top team in our league.  It's not going to be dull.  I was about to announce my retirement but then got persuaded to take over running the team which makes it difficult now. 

Succesful run tonight - about 9k including the infamous hill.  I ran well on the flat but the hill soon got the better of me.  I have also volunteered as run leader when they start the extra group on Thursdays.

Can relate to the problems at work being further up, Mr F.  I'm sure most of my colleagues would be supportive, but not entirely trustworthy in that there's no way of telling them without it getting to the top, so I don't,  Also agree it was a good approach from Caz in going back to work - and all the more admirable as, although it's the right thing to do, it must have been very difficult.

Getting back into can't be bothered to shift myself upstairs mode again, so really must make the effort.

Night all.