Mental illness and running - Page 3 - Health + Injury

JT141

23/05/2011 at 23:19

Really chuffed for you. Good time too. First of many maybe. Hope the battery of tests aren't too arduous and your sister is faring up. Have a relaxing day and bask in the glory. Very impressed.

Solb

12/06/2011 at 15:57

thanks, turned out to be a leaking valve in my heart

i've lost my enthusiasm for running. having a really hard time lately. i just can't get my rhythm back ... would you book another race? if so what would make most sense?

I'm not fast enough for 5k, I thought maybe 10k but again speed (or lack thereof) might be an issue, should I just go for a half? not sure when I should be booking for either - I want to get some drive back but I don't want to push myself over the edge by adding so much pressure I can't cope either .... wish I wasn't quite so mad at the moment, not eating properly is going to wreck my running too ..... sigh....(insert tantrum here)

kittenkat

pirate

12/06/2011 at 16:32

she_of_little_brain wrote (see)

thanks, turned out to be a leaking valve in my heart i've lost my enthusiasm for running. having a really hard time lately. i just can't get my rhythm back ... would you book another race? if so what would make most sense? I'm not fast enough for 5k, I thought maybe 10k but again speed (or lack thereof) might be an issue, should I just go for a half? not sure when I should be booking for either - I want to get some drive back but I don't want to push myself over the edge by adding so much pressure I can't cope either .... wish I wasn't quite so mad at the moment, not eating properly is going to wreck my running too ..... sigh....(insert tantrum here)

Are you getting good medical support for all of this?

Solb

12/06/2011 at 17:01

Depends what you're asking about KK.
The cardiology team don't see being able to run as particularly important. So that wont be sorted for a while - which I suppose is fair enough as it's not dangerous just inconvenient. The thing I couldn't face explaining is that I use running to keep the hallucinations under control. Without running I'm drowning in the psychosis.
I can still run it's just harder cos it makes me unduly breathless. To be honest walking up stairs is kinda harder than the marathon was!
I don't have to stop running, I've just lost confidence and motivation

I know it'll make things better but I can't get out there.
With regards to the being mad bit it's awkward. I can't really admit how bad things are because I'm in the process of being assessed to do some therapy that I badly need. However because of the psychosis and related problems with eating etc they are not sure whether I'm stable enough. If I admit how close I am to everything falling apart they'll decide I'm not well enough and I'll be thrown back to the Community Mental Health Team who work at firefighting but can't fix the problem. I can't stand to languish at the bottom of another waiting list. I need to feel I'm working at making things better, really better not just trying to battle each crisis.
I'm sure it'll be OK. Just really hard at the moment :'(
On the plus side I've eaten today so maybe I'll be well enough for a quick session at the gym or a little run tomorrow (that'd be good)

Big David

12/06/2011 at 20:26

Trail R*nning?

Solb

12/06/2011 at 22:23

What's the star for? Tell me more Big D

Big David

14/06/2011 at 20:06

It is considered impolite by some in the forum to use the r word so you are supposed to put r*n or r*nning.

There used to be a guide to new forumites, but I can not find it now.

Solb

14/06/2011 at 20:51

Oh really, why? I'll have a ferret about and see if I can find it once the ironing pile has decreased a little.
Surely it can only be with a huge dose of irony .... I quite like talking about the R thing ... kinda thought everyone else loitering around here would too. (to be honest re-reading my post I think I find ir*ning more offensive than r*nning!)
I'll definitely looked into trail though - sounds fun ... I ran the Terminator for my first race (not trail exactly but mostly off-road and lots of hills) I really enjoyed it so definitely worth a look, thanks

Vicky Pea

14/06/2011 at 21:06

Hello,
I've just read this thread for the first time and just wanted to offer my sympathy. Could you get the mental health team to talk to the cardiology team? It's well recognised that exercise can help mental health.

Solb

14/06/2011 at 22:30

Thank you Vicky; I think you're right that's probably the way forward ... just need to get it together enough to fight another battle.

I keep reminding myself to be really grateful that I've discovered running as a means to control the mental health problems rather than feeling bitter cos it's not working right now.

It'll be OK, going to try and get my lazy bum in the pool tomorrow morning - I hate swimming but at least that way I can stop whingeing about being unfit and I'll be ready to reclaim my trainers back from the spiders as soon as the cardiologists are happy

Thanks again for your comment, the support means a lot

BigFooted1

27/06/2011 at 11:17

HI SOLB I have just read your thread. You are one very strong and inspirational lady. Believe in yourself, anything is possible.

Midnight Miler

27/06/2011 at 14:36

she_of_little_brain wrote (see)

I'm not fast enough for 5k

Says who?

I've seen some very slow 5k runners - and they still get encouraged and enjoy the event as much as the fast lot.

The main thing is that you seem incredibly passionate - and that's half the battle.

I wish you all the best, you seem a fighting spirit.

Solb

28/06/2011 at 11:42

Aww thanks BigFooted1 that made me cry (I may still be ever so slightly over emotional!)

Thanks Midnight Miler I know you're right ... I'm just too proud to hobble in last - at the moment I can't run fast because of the heart problem (not that I was particularly speedy before that) but I have bags of endurance.

Yes I am really passionate - running is like breathing, it makes me feel alive.

I think the running drought is over - I'm booking a half marathon for September and looking at training schedules now. I might not be well enough to run the race but I'll give it my best shot and it'll be good to have some structure back.

PHEW!

Solb

01/07/2011 at 21:43

HURRAY!!

I finally went for a run - I feel guilty about including the 'u' now, is anyone offended/would you rather I used r*n??

The run was dreadful - I ran under a mile at a moderate pace then had to stop (short of breath, blue fingernails, faint/disorientated) tried just stopping, then walking slowly while wheezing into the inhaler but to no avail. Ended up sitting on the pavement like a total idiot.

I stopped for 5-10 minutes then resolved to walk home - after a little bit I decided it took too long to walk and I felt a little better so ran home...truly pathetic run but I am pleased that it's over and that I managed to run a second time instead of just quitting (as was my intention)

I'm determined to hang on to the positives;

*I got out there, which is surprising as I haven't left the house in a week and have been pretty poorly with a bug picked up in the hospital, a huge black cloud and the darned psychosis (which is raging cos the bug has meant I've not kept the anti-psychotics down for a week)

*I managed to run again after I thought I couldn't.

*I have had runs as bad as today's before and overcome them.

*I still love running (when I can breathe!)

I think the 5 week long lazy spell is finally over and I can get back to being SOLB NOT SLOB

acdcgirl

01/07/2011 at 22:40

Never thought I would have anything to do with mental issues until I had a postnatal depression twice, after two out of four births, never recognised them as this while I had them, I just thought I was not coping. The last time was the worst, I actually thought I was going mad, panic attacks, anxiety, totally illogical fears. Gosh, it was the dark time in my life then. I totally understand. I did not have the release of running then, food was the comfort for me then.

You are doing great, don't give up!

Solb

01/07/2011 at 23:14

acdagirl that must have been really frightening. Especially as I imagine your life feels pretty out of control in the weeks after you have a baby anyway.
I'm really sorry I don't know much about post-natal depression, are you better now or do the dark days still come sometimes? I can't imagine that you can ever be completely unchanged by an experience like that. Just being that ill and afraid of the world is so traumatic in itself it must haunt you a little.
I agree with the never suspecting it could be you. I was the last person you'd imagine would get a mental illness. This is not how I imagined my life would be. (though in some respects I am stronger than I would ever have been without it)
Thank you for the encouragement. I think I really was in danger of giving up but now the first run back is out of the way hopefully I'll find my rhythm again

Ultra Sparkly Bridget

01/07/2011 at 23:19

One step at a time solb ........ In running as well as the rest of life. Xx

Solb

01/07/2011 at 23:23

Thanks USB; great advice as usual - I'm touched you cared enough to write

acdcgirl

02/07/2011 at 08:49

These times are well and truly over now, that baby is now 3.5 years old and I moved on but think about these times with real fright. That has also prompted my decision not have to any more children, take one step at a time and you'll be all right. All the best.

Jeepers

02/07/2011 at 11:47

SOLB, I had cardiac problems last year / this year, resolved now, but my advice if you have a leaky valve that is not repaired, running isn't going to help. It puts too much strain on your cardiac system, so if exercise is important, then you'd be better doing a less energetic form of exercise - ie walking until your heart valve is repaired / medicated etc. IMHO (and I have experience of MHI too) you would be better to be able to do something (ie walking or run / walk) but continue to do it than to struggle (with running) and have to give up.

In my experience, routines help, so you could look at a run / walk programme that would give you fixed days and goals for exercise, a continuous programme of exercise plus helping you maintain fitness all of which would probably also contribute to improved MH.