Mental illness and running

I haven't written before.

I don't know how you do it. I take ad's and struggle to find the motivation to run at all.

How do you force yourself outside?

Hi Bobby,
I'm really sorry you're finding it so hard. Try not to beat yourself up. You can only achieve as much as you are able to at a given point in time. Sorry if that didn't make sense. There's no point in being cross at yourself if you really are too ill to get outside and run.
Sometimes you just have to be kinder to yourself and try again in a few days. You can't will yourself to be well again - if you could you wouldn't be taking the anti d's in the first place.
Sorry I'm really not explaining myself very well, I know it's really frustrating and it's hard to see the difference between those times when you need to try harder and those when you need to back off.
If it's time to try again then I think the most crucial thing is to re-establish a routine. Forget about distance, pace, speed sessions etc just focus on getting back into the habit of running. I live near a park, if I've been off for a while and my motivation is wounded I just aim to run one lap of the park every morning for a couple of weeks (it's only a mile round) the hardest bit is getting back to the point where you are looking for reasons to run instead of excuses not to. I find making it a non-negotiable part of the routine achieves that.
I don't think there are any magic solutions, as you can see from this thread I suffer from the CBAs sometimes too. You're judging yourself by a much harsher standard than you are judging me.
If I'm feeling overwhelmed by people I jam a hat down low, put earphones in (with or without music) and run early in the morning. Or drive somewhere further afield and run where I won't know anyone.
Look after yourself Bobby (and let us know how it's going)

If things are really bad talk to someone honey, I don't know what I'm on about really but there are people that do!

Hi SOLB,

Just wanted to say, hi and thanks for this thread. I started running because of depression and it's helped me loads. Probably the best thing I ever did for myself was to train for my first marathon. The sense of achievement is still with me - and it was a really rubbish time compared to yours! But I plodded and I got there and for the first time in my life I was proud of what I'd achieved. It's really tough to make the decision to get out there and train when, well, you don't feel like it.

Thanks for being such an encouragement and an inspiration

mitiog

SOLB is pretty awesome isn't she? And so wise!

 Without wanting to sound facetious, SOLB has said a lot of great tips and ideas. I find that having a race to aim for, or at least a goal (and then a plan) helps.

Also I've heard being kind to yourself is a good idea (it's not something I do) and crediting yourself for small victories (eg. getting up, getting dressed, getting out, running for a minute etc.).

Hey mitiog,

I like the way you've phrased it - the most important bit for me wasn't the actual race it was the training.

It made it really clear to me that achievements weren't miraculous things that other people did (and by extension that I couldn't do) it was just the sum of lots of tiny achievements. Just like the marathon isn't just one impressive feat it's just made up of hundreds of little training runs.

I'd stopped fighting cos I was so busy being overwhelmed by all the big things I couldn't do.

I know exactly what you mean, the adrenaline filled start line is so much easier than all those training runs that you had to really dig deep for. I think you deserve to feel proud of it.

I'm happy about being an encouragement, I'll always aim for that. As for an inspiration ... you too if you look at yourself through a strangers eyes (instead of your own critical ones!) You found the strength to fight through and achieve your marathon through the type of darkness & pain most people couldn't imagine!!

X-post

Hello Ben-o

How did Liverpool go?

I'll accept the compliments if you wanna throw them but remember you guys didn't see all the tantrums and whining about not wanting to go out ... you also missed the monumental I can't do it wobbles. Not really awesome just makes a pretty headline!

Good idea re aiming for a race. I'd been debating it today but didn't make the last few cos I wasn't well enough so have been dithering. I think I'm going to take your advice and enter *pads off to event finder*

"The run was dreadful - I ran under a mile at a moderate pace then had to stop (short of breath, blue fingernails, faint/disorientated) tried just stopping, then walking slowly while wheezing into the inhaler but to no avail. Ended up sitting on the pavement like a total idiot.

I stopped for 5-10 minutes then resolved to walk home - after a little bit I decided it took too long to walk and I felt a little better so ran home...truly pathetic run but I am pleased that it's over and that I managed to run a second time instead of just quitting (as was my intention)"

(Barges in to thread politically incorrectly) Those two paragraphs show cojones!

Top effort.

From another out-y belly buttoner. Apparently it's a hernia and it makes a beer gut look like a huge tit!

Ha ha I googled cojones; sounded like some sort of grammatical error ... I'm blaming you if I end up drowning in ads for Spanish Viagra!

"From another out-y belly buttoner. Apparently it's a hernia and it makes a beer gut look like a huge tit!"

People very rarely mean it when they write lol but this time I'm still laughing

Hi, my name's Ben and I have an out-y belly button. It felt good saying that, there's not many who know my dark secret!

Liverpool was awesome thanks SOLB! It was a really incredible experience though my running afterwards has dramatically dropped off.

Like you I need a new event to aim for, where are you thinking?

Ben

Hmm, event to aim for....

Can you swim & ride a bike as well?

Ahh Ben-o let it all hang out ... the bellybutton I mean!

I really want to run The Terminator as it was my first race.

Longer term it depends what's happening with the rest of my world. I want to do Dorset Village Marathon.

I went back to college in September, if I continue they'll be a clash between training and exam prep so it wouldn't be a good idea to do a spring marathon Some complicated financial issues with studying mean I may need to drop out this year and start again next Sept ... which would free me up to do Dorset guilt free.

As for the near future I'm not really sure where to pitch it...

Dustboy I used to swim for the uni team but it's been a long time since I dived in the pool. I've not ridden a bike for a while but I'm looking at getting one anyway. Are you thinking tri's? I always think they sound amazing but expensive compared to single discipline.

An accomplished swimmer?? (splutters into keyboard) And getting a bike?

They are indeed amazing. Some are pricey, some are not, like running races. I have seen £25 for a good quality sprint Triathlon.

But grin factor overload! And you seem to learn a lot about nutrition and blood sugar etc.

I don't think I can swim to be honest.

 Wow, The Terminator looks hardcore! SOLB, I'm well impressed you've done it!

I agree about the spring marathons, they're very inconveniently placed. I wish organisers would consider my schedule before going ahead and planning such events!

Ben

Dustboy I've got it .... jelly beans in - PB's out. Yeah?

Swimming isn't too tricky Ben-o I've noticed that the people that find it hardest are those that let their hips sink down. All the energy is going into bobbing up and down like a cork, once you've raised your hips it's loads easier (Though I'd drown if I attempted to compete now!)

The Terminator would have been hardcore if I was in the first 20, everyone else was just having a laugh and hauling each other out of the mud. You should try it if you're near, so much fun.

Re: Spring Marathons. I think we should write to the organisers indicating which dates we can and cannot do (along with the full explanation for any clashes) sure they'll reschedule - especially if you promise them a peek at the omnipotent out-y.

Just googled The Terminator. Looks great. Reckon I might have me some of that.

Jelly beanz are a great source of NRG but you need to watch your levels if you are diabetic.

And you are talking technically about swimming! Clearly a natural!

Thank you SOLB and Ben-o

I feel better now that you have reminded me I am not alone.

I have just booked a 10k. I don't think I am ready for the Terminator or any marathons yet.

I really do mean the thank you.

Whether you accept it or not SOLB you are an inspiration.

Hope to see you in the mud in Feb Dustboy!

You are definitely not alone Bobby, people just struggle to talk about it sometimes.

Enjoy the 10k I might go for a 10k too ... though I suspect a silly santa dash might feature in the next month too

SOLB, I have no idea what my hips are doing when I swim! I have no confidence in the water and usually panic, I just don't think I'm a water person.

The Terminator looks tempted, I'll think about it (that usually means I'll forget about it).

No problem Bobby, it's easy to forget that we have more in common with most people than differences (The Dalai Lama says stuff like this more eloquently, I follow him on twitter to get his daily wisdom).

My out-y is all-powerful, but also all-consuming (it likes the cake!)...that's deep for this time in the morning!

Have you tried asking them Ben-o?

AHA I'll remind you about The Terminator ... forgetting is a rubbish excuse!

Wise as ever Ben.

Surprisingly thinking about how deep or not the forward facing hernias are hasn't put me off cake

It's been that long since I've swam I'm fairly sure my hips don't know either.

I've just been some Dalai Lama tweets, my current favourite: "We tend to forget that despite the superficial differences between us, people are equal in their basic wish for peace and happiness." and "Compassion is a feeling from deep in the heart that you cannot bear someone else's suffering without taking steps to relieve it.".

Actually my out-y is from operations I had when young, though the result is much the same: I love the cake!

How have you been SOLB?