I wanted a place where we could get advice and support.
by'eck, wet kit is better than no kit. It seems to be dry enough for my purposes
ooo i couldn't put chilly wet kit on *shudders* no need to tell you where to get off Frodo darling I don't mind answering at all I never do, I can usually get away with skipping them if I need to not be a zombie for something. Cos for all I've worked at not seeming too spaced out I'm still very very heavily medicated on them - if I'm with people or I need to drive early in the morning I skip them. I think I've just done it too many times in the last couple of weeks They work by sedating my brain so that everything is slower, not taking them feels amazing; it's like flying - just relying on sedation means I get symptomatic quite quickly if I've messed up.
I think I'm adopting 'face ouchies,' makes them sound much less grim! I guess I should just be relieved that there wasn't really anything horrific under my skin
Argh I don't feel like I'm explaining things very well tonight. Sorry.
Rubbish about the missed run by eck but you are a sweetie
A nice boy has fixed my poorly computer by remote access, so happy
I can understand that. Do you think it impacted on your 'lost' therapy session on Monday, too?
Hi all - hope you all well - been busy with kids last few days so never seem to have a moment to myself!
Just been swimming and feel exhausted but mentally better. Had a few home issues and found myself taking too much 'extra ' medication to calm down but have also noticed how I crave a run or excersise now when things get stressed (VERY STRESS) . Worked amazing yesterday and got me through a bad day. It;s just over 3 months since I started running again, (followed by cycling and swimming) but the positive mental effects are now apparent. It's quite a revelation - never expected such a dramatic improvement so quick.
I'm not sure Frodo, I've messed up pretty badly if it is. I can't tell until I can find out from Vicky what happened, frustratingly the next appointment isn't next Monday but the one after - obviously I have no idea why, she's just been on leave but we quite often miss one. I just don't know, I wonder whether it was a personality split thingie. I just don't get it. I hate not knowing what I've done, especially now I don't feel like I know what's real either. It's all just so complicated.
Aww Rio sounds exhausting, glad the swimming helped. I crave exercise too. So glad it got you through yesterday though it's pants that yesterday was a tough one.
Woo hoo for the three month marker
Do I make sense tonight? Are my words all mixed up?
I'm not sure, I don't really understand this dissociative identity disorder - I don't feel like I'm ever not me but the theory is that I'm a seperate person in the blanks. So if that happens I guess Vicky had a session with an 'alter' distinct from me. Apparently the personality kind of splits off when you can't cope with trauma type stuff, especially as a child. I don't understand. I can see lots of the things I cleary have in the diagnostic criteria but surely if there were a couple of solbs living in me I'd know!
I suppose the only other thing that could have happened was that therapy was too scary and intense so I spaced out too much and was just a little zombie that can't remember anything cos I was an empty shell - but in those instances I can usually remember little bits even if it's just a visual. I know how I've got to places then too, and surely I'd remember the start. I don't know, it's all so weird.
Thank you for your kind thoughts I'm OK really it's all just a bit disorientating with the bugs and stuff too. Maybe two seperate issues, split personality at therapy and missed medication causing all the weird things to happen. Or maybe the weird stuff actually is real and I'm worrying about meds for nothing.
I have a meeting with a brand new CPN and my OT on Thursday. I won't trust the new CPN enough to discuss it but I might ask the OT afterwards what my notes say about Monday's session.
(CPN stands for Community Psychiatric Nurse)
OK am taking a sleeping tablet and getting to bed, time for today to end!
solb, think you are being a bit hard on yourself. It's fairly clear that this thread is, (among other things) a support thread. So I dont think you have said anything you shouldnt have. If things are confused, then that's the time we need support.
btw, some brakes just squeal, doesnt necessarily mean there is anything wrong with them. Are they musical brakes by any chance?
And by the way, you mentioned a couple of pages back that you have no culture. I checked out the song 'Leonardo's Bicycle'. It comes from an album called 'A Terrible Beauty' which is a reference to a poem by WB Yeats. So I think Divine Sossidge might be smuggling some culture into your diet.
rio, good to hear exercise is working for you, and well done on the three months
Spotty hugs are excellent therapy I had 60kg of slobber hugs this morning, followed by very fuzzy bear hugs and bouncy hugs from assorted hounds (I'm volunteering with the RSPCA over the summer). I big dogs and miss my own gentle giant.
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