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How do you get going again after pregnancy?

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07/01/2013 at 22:37

oh yes, and finally, birthday present suggestions for an 8-year-old girl please - quite a studious one at that, but quite outdoorsy but not massively girl ... is Js best friend and I'm a bit stumped.

07/01/2013 at 22:40
Except I can't really camlo as I won't have childcare except on mons and tues. however, I think I have poss thought of the answer, similar to your suggestion I think. Basically a full time employee gets 20 days (4 wks) to play with plus bank hols, so I would want the same. 4 wks to play with which would be 8.5 days, plus bank hols. Most of the time that would be 4 days, then occasionally a few more. Does that sound like a reasonable request?
07/01/2013 at 23:08
Oooh such a lot to post on. My updates will take a while so better on the laptop than my phone. And I've probably built it all up too much now!

Loving the legal advice, training plans, crazy stories of family life on here! Gotta sleep now though. Bit anxious about my brother and his wife at the mo. they live in east Belfast and it seems a bit unsettled there at the minute to say the least.
08/01/2013 at 06:03
Operation was short-lived - they found that his liver was too damaged to attempt the procedure do sewed him straight back up. Now they go home and wait for his liver to fail then he'll have a transplant. They've been told it could be anything from one month to two years - the longer the better as he's so young to be undergoing such major surgery. What a terrible thing to be looming over them however they are being very strong and positive.
08/01/2013 at 08:18

Sonya I would stick with your 30mpw now and build from there, so you might do slightly more mileage than the schedule says. Stick to the paces though. So important to do this as this is the main reason for burm out or failing to hit your marathon target. if you don't know what 3.45 pace feels like you will run it too fast at the beginning.

Mel. Don't run too fast. Stick to paces especially in Jan for a spring marathon.

Yes I'm hoping to run the final run with him of 20k. Boring route as will be dark but there will be about 8 of us doing all or part of this run so should be good.

Interesting Caro. I think bank holidays are extra to normal holidays aren't they. When I worked part time we had 24 days holiday (full-time) plus bank holidays, so I lost 4.5 days or something but had all the bank holidays. I had fridays off not mondays though.

08/01/2013 at 09:10
Hoggle - how awful for them. Will they be coming home now? That's the kind of thing you absolutely dread as a parent. My weepy moments with this baby have all been awful imaginings of things happening to the children, and wondering how people even begin to cope.

Caro - that sounds reasonable as a request. Are you allowed to take your Saturday's as annual leave? I think the nhs works out leave so that part timers have the same amount of time off in total as they would if they worked full time (and that varies based on seniority) - at least that seems to be how mine is worked out. We aren't allowed to take weekend days as annual leave, they have to be swapped, so on our system you'd only have to ask for 8 days instead of 7, which doesn't seem that terrible. I probably end up working 3 or 4 bank holidays a year which gives a few extra days to play with too, and is handy as not difficult if hubby isn't working.
08/01/2013 at 12:31
Sonya- I have bn reading book recommended by Caro '4 months to a 4hr marathon', paces in it r roughly long run 90sec-2mins per mile slower than marathon pace, tempo runs r 10-15sec per mile faster than marathon pace, recovery runs 'u can't go too slow'. The title is a bit misleading as it actually gives training plans for anything from sub 4hr to sub 5. Interval pace it gives for sub 4hr is 2:05 per 400m and it adds 5sec to that for every 15min extension on marathon time, so estimating for a sub 3:45 marathon it would b 2:00 per 400m.
08/01/2013 at 12:51

Don't know Vixo - but given that a Sat is only 4 hrs it would be a waste of a days leave if I had to take a whole day.  But swapping is hopefully straightforward, and they have said they let us have the roat a good time in advance which hopefully will let me get my requests in.

08/01/2013 at 14:06

Oh Hoggle sounds horrific. You are being a good friend though.

CC. How about one of the Horrid Science kits? Loads of them on amazon. I was looking at them for my nephew but am going with Meccano instead.

08/01/2013 at 16:28

Hoggle - sounds dreadful for your friends. Hope they and you are bearing up.

Mel - welcome!  We're a friendly bunch for sure.  I have Megan (was 5 in October), live in Edinburgh and work full-time. Good luck with the training - my knees can't take serious training mileage any more

CC - how about cinema vouchers (although not sure how far you are from a cinema!).  Her and J could maybe then go see something in the Feb half-term?

Caro - good luck in the negotiations!

And finally - an on topic question for this forum!!  Do any of you ladies know of a decent racerback bra? Got a couple of new running tops in the John Lewis sale but my current bras (both of which are older than I'm willing to say) are visible so need some racerback style ones. Saw a nice Nike one which was reversible but can't find it anywhere in xs. All recommendations welcome ... particularly from anybody who is in the pancakes for breasts brigade like me)

08/01/2013 at 17:29

MR- shockabsorber is my fave and has racer back. Just ordered a new one off amazon. They're padded to enhance my lack of assets! I buy a 32A for my 34AA pancakes. 

Hoggle- just horrid for your poor friend and baby, really hope it all goes well for them and the little one is well enough to go home.

Thanks all for great advice on marathon training. Do love this forum, everything from potty training to pacing your long runs I will continue my training plan but just increase some of the run lengths until the scheduled mileage is up to what I'm already used to. Definitely taking on board that I must keep my slow runs slow! I feel I am probably being optimistic following a 3:45 marathon plan so may end up slipping back to the 4hr one anyway. I am lost without a schedule! (Stratford is week after London- 28 April).

Caro- hope negotiations go well. Don't really understand it! But actually don't understand my own p/t holidays, luckily my boss doesn't count days off closely. And I also swapped to working Mon-Wed so don't miss out on bank hols (or have to figure out the complicated system which works out what I'm due!).

08/01/2013 at 20:30

i work p/t and work weds - fri. i get pro-rata entitlement to bank holidays which fall on days i don't work - so if xmas day, like this year, falls on a tues, i get 4.5 hours to take off on another day as i don't work a tues. if it falls on a weds, i get the day off as everyone else does. no BH working in my company tho. also no overtime, so even if i work more days, i don't get paid for them.

caro - can you ask for your leave calculated in hours instead of days - would that work? then if you needed an afternoon off for an xmas play, you could literally just take the number of hours off you needed, or would that not be an option because of cover?

so sorry to hear about your friends, hoggle. how utterly horrific for them.

still absolutely bog all running here, and i have no idea when i will realistically be able to try again as GP has said up to another 6 weeks. i am going spare. i will try a short walk again tomorrow and see what happens. survived crawling up the hill today at E speed without dying. in fact, the cat came with us all the way to school today - followed us 0.5 m down the hill.across two really busy roads and then got freaked by the noise in the playground and scarpered. i was terrified he would get squashed / lost on the way back and when i got home from dropping E off, he wasn't here. however, after about 5 mins he came back in through the cat flap and literally flopped on the floor inside the door and went to sleep. bless!

08/01/2013 at 20:33

J went to his first gym class tonight - have found one which is purely recreational and which has no upper age limit. all ages from 5 - 12 in together and only £4.40 for an hour. woohooo! his best friend is going too so he has company / distraction. the only thing is, his friend is very much more co-ordinated than him so i'm not sure J will be too impressed once he realises this. however, for now he loved it and wants to keep going.

08/01/2013 at 20:38

and finally - i told N today that i wanted him to sort his divorce and financial situation with his wife out and i didn't want to see him again until that happened. since then he has turned up at my house (i eventually got him to leave after telling him i was deadly serious and would phone the police if he didn't go), phoned me, emailed me 3 times (i replied to his first one asking for him not to contact me), and instant messaged me on the work system (so i had to log off so that i wasn't online for him to contact me). he has now just emailed me again. i have told him i don't want any contact as the only thing i am interested in now is him sorting his divorce. the marital house sold last february and he has done nothing, as far as i am aware, to sort a divorce other than get a valuation of his pension. he tells me it's all in hand but there is no evidence. he has just sent me an email begging me to let him tell me one last thing and he will then shut up. i don't want to engage with him - i feel like the best thing to do is just step away, having given him an ultimatum. and yet he keeps trying to get in touch with me - and ignoring him like this is very hard and feels cruel and heartless. ARGH!!!

08/01/2013 at 20:45

Thats tough CM - sounds like he needs a good push though to get him to sort stuff out (although I must confess I would end up wanting to find out the one last thing - curiosity would kill me). I hope he gets his sh** together now. And great re. recreational gym class - sounds like it will suit him very well.

Work negotiations sound hard Caro. At my old work in the UK part time a/l was calculated by hours not days - would mean that to take a Saturday off you would only take 4 hours not a whole day. Not sure if it would work out in your favour overall or not though. Tough decision!

I think I am taking my bosses suggestion to ease back into work this week a bit too seriously - have sprayed the carpet with stain remover, eaten a bag of crisps and am about to do some baking to send to friend in hospital. Work complete = 0 whoops! Really should get something done - 4 hours until pick-up time!

08/01/2013 at 21:19
Argh. Another 3 phone calls and a voicemail with him in tears. I did call him back just to say that I was deadly serious about no contact and if it continued I would be taking action. Anyway - apparently the important thing he wanted to tell me was that yesterday (oh how conveniently) he had texted his wife and she had agreed to backdate the separation so that they can go for a quicky divorce under the 2 yr separation thing. Not sure that I believe him but it is irrelevant anyway. Reiterated that I wanted to hear only when it was all done and not beforehand. I feel so awful - or rather he makes me feel so awful. But he has known for 2+ yrs that this is what I want him to do and I have had repeated reassurances from him that he is dealing with it and nothing has happened.

His reaction to the pg last year was the final straw for me I think although it has taken me a long time to actually act on that. He said that he felt guilty because the only thing his wife had ever wanted was to move to Wales (her family is welsh) and have more kids. And there I was in Wales and pregnant. It was at that point that I realised that, in spite of his protestations to the contrary, he hadn't dealt with his guilt. And by not divorcing her he is continuing to act as though he still has the guilt. If that is the case and he can't divorce her, I understand. But I won't tolerate that and there will be no future for us.

The irony is that he hasn't lived with her for 3 years. They sold the marital home a year ago and she has a house mortgage-free from the equity and considerable spousal maintenance from him (no dependent kids). He has all the debt on credit cards, nowhere to live and pays her a huge whack every month. And he still hasn't divorced her because he knows she doesn't want a divorce. She just wants to be separated.

Anyway bla bla bla. Sick of it now. 2013 is a year for none of this nonsense!!
08/01/2013 at 21:35

Stick with it CM!! If he's the right guy for you he will sort himself out and if not then you will in the long run be happier without him. Tough though ((())))

08/01/2013 at 22:25
I agree with Hoggle - be strong CM, you are not a doormat and who in their right mind would expect you to sit and wait while they continue to put their 'ex' wife first?
Hope you get better soon, take some time to do non-sporty stuff until you are recovered. Glad J enjoyed Gym class.
MR - another shock absorber fan here although the aldi ones are oK if you see them as cheapies.
Sonya - I caved and looked at a few schedules but the 5 or 6 days a week ones just aren't going to work for me and I got palpitations just reading them! I did a 20 on Saturday so no way am I going to go right back to 8 miles only to build back up gradually. think I will try and do a long one every fortnight and just make sure as the mara gets closer I do them evenly and at the right pace (slow.... But how slow when I have no realistic idea of goal...argh?!)
Anyone know what happens if you die without a will but 'told' someone you didn't want your next of kin notified????? My friend died on Saturday and I am arguing with my mum that she (we/ council/ whoever) surely has a duty to notify friends brother despite them not talking for over 30 years as there is no will. No money or possessions but that's not the point is it? Doesn't help that we don't know where brother is either.....
Crappy day at work, Archie wet his pants, burnt the tea, couldnt go running..... Early night I think.
08/01/2013 at 22:38
How sad camlo, but then I couldn't imagine being on such bad terms with a close relative. If I were the brother I suppose I'd want to know....but then if I hadn't seen my sister for 30 years would it make a difference?

Hoggle how truly tragic for your friends baby. Whatever happens its going to mean a life of uncertainties and worry, and for it all to come out of the blue.

It's only now, as my kids get older, that I can even begin to imagine how my parents must have felt when I was in that fire aged 9. Imagine getting that phone call telling you that your 9 yr old who you thought was safely on a camping trip was actually in hospital with 25% 3rd degree burns. I think as a parent I wold feel so guilty, despite the fact that my parents were nowhere nr the place at the time.

CM stick to your guns, this is not the first time you've told him.

Don't think hrs would make a difference, as instead of deducting a day for a bank hol I would have to deduct a days worth of hrs, so the end result would be the same. I have composed an e mail basically spelling out what I want to be paid and how much holiday I want, take it or leave it more or less! Haven't sent it yet.....
08/01/2013 at 22:57
Thanks Caro - friend specifically requested that her brother was NOT contacted and mum thinks we should respect her wishes but without anything in writing I fail to see how you can't contact him if he is now the sole beneficiary. I guess as she had nowt she didn't see the need to write a will and told the nurses me and mum would sort everything but we don't have any authority. Arrrgh. LESSON TO SELF TO UPDATE MY WILL!!
I think sleep on the email and read it again in the morning to check it is ok before sending. no-one is going to read it tonight! This could be your only chance to agree conditions and they may well be totally flexible in the future but if you have it in writing they can't renege.
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